Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got Paperback – Dec 26 2006
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—Peter Richmond, author of Fever: The Life and Music of Miss Peggy Lee
"Was Elizabeth Taylor the greatest product of the Hollywood star machine or its greatest victim? Or was she, perhaps, its inventor? At a time when celebrity culture seems to be spiraling out of control, William J. Mann's smart, engaging, clear-eyed case study of Taylor's unique life in the spotlight locates the 'real' person somewhere between her private life and her public image. It's a fresh, unique and wholly successful approach to a fascinating story."
—Mark Harris, author of Pictures at a Revolution: Five Movies and the Birth of the New Hollywood
"A dazzling and sagacious red-carpet Technicolor guide book to the lost art of Stardom . . . essential reading for aspiring love goddesses and mere mortals alike."
—Lee Server, author of the bestselling Ava Gardener: "Love is Nothing"
"When I saw Elizabeth Taylor in person, I suddenly found myself screaming like a teen at a Beatles concert. Mann deftly describes how, with great self-assurance, Taylor shrewdly and methodically orchestrated that reaction on a global scale. This is a smart book about a surprisingly savvy superstar. It's one of the best Hollywood biographies I've ever read."
--Ed Sikov, author of Dark Victory: The Life of Bette Davis
"William J. Mann's portrait is meticulous and delicious, capturing the essence of a great movie star, a woman who epitomized the old Hollywood glamour even as she was bucking the system--every system! Through shrewd and intriguing detail, this lively book brings fresh insight into why and how Elizabeth Taylor mesmerized the world she was helping to change."
--Julie Salamon, author of The Devil's Candy and Hospital
"This is a juicy telling of a screen idol who always did things her own way." --San Luis Obispo Tribune
"...a richly enjoyable biography..." --The Sunday Times (UK)
"William Mann has picked the perfect title for a biography of Taylor. She was, truly, the last great movie star." --The Oregonian
"...she knew by instinct, generations before today's crop of starlets, how to interface her personal and professional lives with the public, who adored her for it. Taylor lived out loud, and the world sang along to her tune." --EDGE New York
"...the sorts of details a reader craves...all are rendered with a verve and fluidity that keep the book moving along in a fleet fashion. [Mann] has clearly done his research and just as clearly adores his subject [...] Taylor was at the furious center of it all, and provides as handy and captivating a guide through [the era] as any star of the 20th century could." --The New York Times Book Review
"Mann's eminently yummy entry is pretty much everything you'd want in a Hollywood biography... What does make How to Be a Movie Star distinctive is its focus on the changing nature of personal fame as embodied by a woman whose life has consisted of one superlative after another." --Salon.com
"William J. Mann's ridiculously entertaining biography of Elizabeth Taylor in her Hollywood heyday is yummier than digging into a hot-fudge sundae and a stack of Us Weeklys." --USA Today
"William J. Mann dissects the crafty machinations of her stardom..." --Bookpage
"...wickedly entertaining biography..." --The Times (UK)
"Mann shows what all the fuss was about." --The New York Post
"Mann is carving out a niche for himself as a writer and historian capable of presenting fresh information about oft-covered subjects." --The Washington Blade
"This is an entertaining work, revealing much of the machinery behind star-building and star-maintaining back in the day. The trajectory of gossip queen Hedda Hopper's relationship with Elizabeth--from adoration to loathing--is deliciously conveyed. [...] Mr. Mann does an excellent job capturing the media/public frenzy of her greatest years..." --Liz Smith, for wowOwow.com
"...brilliant combination of history, criticism, and biography...Mann has found the perfect figure for an exploration of the seismic changes that took place in Hollywood--and in American pop culture--between the 1940s and the 1960s. It's a terrific read." --Connecticut News
"Mann's book underscores the fact that Elizabeth Taylor is--above all else--a survivor...Perhaps that is why she is so relevant and remains, even more than half a century later, one of the country's most fascinating celebrities." --Lincoln Tribune
About the Author
"Dr. Phil" (Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.) is the host of America’s number-one daytime talk show and is perhaps the most well-known expert in the field of psychology and human functioning in the world today. In his 16th year on television and his 11th year of the Dr. Phil show, he has devoted his international platform to delivering common sense information to individuals and families seeking to improve their lives. Passionately pursuing such topics as family functioning, domestic violence, anti-bullying, addiction and the myths of mental illness, he works tirelessly both on and off the air. Dr. Phil has carried his message from the senate chambers of Washington, D.C. to the suburbs and inner cities across America. He and Robin, his wife of 38 years and counting, along with their "wonder dog," Maggie, reside in Southern California, as do his two sons, Jordan and Jay, along with daughter-in-law, Erica, and two grandchildren, Avery Elizabeth and London Phillip.
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Top Customer Reviews
But what do I know? This book is for women who aren't having much luck attracting the right kind of marriage candidates. So if you are a man looking for such advice, skip this book.
If you are a woman who wants to marry and raise a family, read on.
Love Smart is the most unusual book about attracting marital candidates of the opposite sex that I have ever read. Here are some of the many perspectives the book brings to this issue:
A discussion of how to develop a realistic set of attributes to look for . . . rather than assuming that you are going to find and marry a perfect Prince Charming. This section read much like a marketing guide for how to find customers for your network marketing business;
Practical advice on how to screen potential partners . . . and move on as soon as you know you haven't found one who works;
An updated version of how to be yourself and play hard to get . . . and make that interesting;
A simplified overview of male psychology that argues that men are not only interested in sex; and
Ways to build a strong marriage (with recommendations to use Dr. Phil's book Relationship Rescue as a resource).
I thought the book worked best at a highly general level. Many readers, however, won't find their situations captured here.Read more ›
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
This book is full of common sense. As you read you discover the great advice, which clearly is directed at women, yet much of it holds true for guys too. I can see how the strategies would work. As a guy I don't want to see all our secrets given away.
Among the many pieces of advice offered are have a life, overcome your own issues such as low self esteem, and learn to love yourself.
Issues can be overcome. After all, if you don't love yourself enough then you are relying on a guy for validation. How can you persuade a guy how fabulous you are if you don't believe it yourself.
That is not a permanent fix, at best its a dubious band aid. Guys know women with low self esteem are not good relationship material, so why do so many women say they have low self esteem. Go figure. The best thing is to be a self sufficient woman, be less available, have alternative plans. Give him the gift of missing you, if necessary. This creates mystery, which is a vital ingredient for developing a relationship. Less is more.
Letting go of seeking perfection in a man is excellent advice. If a guy has 80% of the qualities you are looking for, you should bag him, tag him, and take him home. My sister once dated a guy, and said 'if he had a chipped front tooth he'd be perfect.' So even perfection is not all its cracked up to be.
Develop an abundance mentality. Women search for 'the one'. There are many who fit the bill from a pool of billions to choose from. Let go of scarcity.
I thought the advice on bringing up the subject of marriage was particularly good, avoiding the ultimatum. Another book I read mentions that women have to bring up this subject almost 70% of the time.
The advice on date topics and questions is also excellent. There should be a rule about not talking about your job, the weather, and telling the story of your life like a history lesson, and conducting a date like a job interview. These are just routine, and guys get these types of conversations from their buddies. Excluding these topics forces you to be interesting. Talk about what excites you instead.
Unlike other bestselling dating books, I can see how this book would work, and the more you apply the concepts the better they will work for you.
Oh, and if you want to improve your ability to love yourself and others, I recommend Soul Love: Awakening Your Heart Centers (Roman, Sanaya) by Sanaya Roman, in which you use your imagination and work with your chakras. It literally is a heartwarming book. My number one recommend in this genre is Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. B.I.T.C.H means Babe In Total Control of Herself.
Hope this was useful.
What I needed was confidence in myself. Chapter 3 THE CHARACTER OF YOU really helped me get clear on who I am, which is the most important thing. I've done the "bait and switch," pretending to be the thing a guy most wanted, only to turn out to be a completely different person. IT NEVER WORKED. As you can see, I needed a new game plan, one that was based on being genuine. Dr Phil's message is all about that, and I LOVE THAT about this book.
Plus, it offers real strategies, ones EVEN I CAN USE. Like Infra-red Dating (the questions to ask to get to the core of him and where he's coming from without sending him running).
I needed this. Dr Phil has set me on a path towards coupledom. And in the process, I came to feel so much better about myself.
The whole wonderful key in this book is to BE WHO YOU ARE!
There are great ideas for meeting someone by going to places that you really like, and naturally, you will meet someone who shares your interests - and what a nice way that is to meet someone!
Another great point is that "100 % Mr. Perfect" does not exist. Everyone has quirks, personality differences, and if you meet someone who matches most of your preferences, ideas about life, similar views, without compromising on YOUR truth and integrity, then you stand a great chance of having a fulfilling relationship. So his 80 percent solution provides some great insight to better help you to create a great relationship with someone who does have 80% of what you are looking for, (as long as the other 20% brings no harm to you on any level) rather than pass up someone while you chase after the 100% perfect myth.
All in all, with respect to some of the negative reviews, I do not feel that Dr. Phil is pandering to anyone. Quite to the contrary, he is giving expert advice to women who can use a good dose of self love, self appreciation, and the confidence to be yourself so that you CAN attract the great match you deserve, or significantly enhance life with the one you are with!
Barbara Rose, Ph.D. author of Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE and Know Yourself: A Woman's Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence
He says "If the guy has 80 percent of what you want and potential to grow the extra 20 percent, you need to bag that boy up because he is good to go. Do not walk past him while you're looking for Mr. 100 Percent, because somebody else is going to marry Mr. 80 Percent and you are going to be standing there 60 percent sad and 40 percent frustrated."
This was almost like a new revelation to me. I have to admit that I have always been the gal that is looking for Mr. Right (the 100% Mr. Right, of course)! I am really enamored with this concept of Dr. Phil's. The reason I haven't find Mr. Right is because there is not anyone out there who is 100% right for me. Of course, I now realize this is something to work towards.
I am not giving up on my search to finding the one I want. I will only continue to look, yet look for Mr. 80%. This idea of Dr. Phil's is outstanding! I would recommend this to anyone who is still searching for the right one.
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