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Love as a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life [Hardcover]

Gary Chapman
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
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Book Description

July 15 2008

In his first major work since the publication of his phenomenal bestseller The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman delivers a powerful plan for whole-life happiness, with simple yet intensive exercises and wisdom for finding the life you have always wanted. The way in which our individual lives are improved, says Chapman, is through improving each relationship in your life: with your parents your children, your coworkers, and your spouse, and for all human interactions that form the foundations of our lives. With breakthrough strategies for developing new ways of accepting and responding to the gift of love, Love as a Way of Life nurtures the essential qualities of Kindness, Patience, Forgiveness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity, and Honesty. Memorable real-life stories and inspiring advice make this an ideal book to share with others, fostering meaningful conversations about the incredible possibilities that emerge when love becomes a habit.
In his previous work, Dr. Chapman brought to light the different ways people express love, but in Love as a Way of Life he reveals that every aspect of your life can be improved by placing love at the center of everything you do. As Rick Warren does in The Purpose Driven Life, Chapman illuminates the profound influence of spiritual insight and understanding on our daily lives.

Using real-life anecdotes, he examines the obstacles and misunderstandings that undermine relationships, and provides quizzes and exercises to help readers evaluate their own strengths and weaknesses. Rich in wisdom and inspiration, Love as a Way of Life is an invaluable guide to creating fulfilling and satisfying relationships and reaping the joys of living a love-driven life.

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Advance Praise for LOVE AS A WAY OF LIFE

“Chapman follows up his five-million-copy bestseller The Five Love Languages with this wise, heartfelt guide to cultivating seven traits that lead to loving relationships. Whereas his work on love languages explored the primary ways people give and receive love, this book explores the nitty-gritty of an entire "attitude of love," with chapters on kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty. Each chapter includes quizzes, questions for reflection, and ideas for applying that chapter's teachings. All self-help books run the risk of cliché, but Chapman manages to make tried-and-true material feel fresh through carefully chosen examples from his pastoral counseling practice and his own life…. This book is head and shoulders above the bulk of self-help literature precisely because it is not about ‘self’ so much as helping others.”
--Publisher’s Weekly (starred review)

About the Author

GARY CHAPMAN is an ordained minister and marriage counselor. He is the author of the bestselling book The Five Love Languages, which has sold more than 4 million copies and was the first in a popular series of love-language books. The host of a national radio program and a popular conference speaker, he lives in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love as a way of life Aug. 14 2009
Excellent book! I have recommended it to serveral individuals. I have still not read the other two yet - looking forward to it!!! Thank you!
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.8 out of 5 stars  52 reviews
36 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book will change your life, and even better, everyone else around you July 16 2008
By Christina Lockstein - Published on
Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman is a book that could literally change the world. Chapman, who is most famous for his The Five Love Languages, has years of experience couselling couples and uses this knowledge to help us improve our own relationships. He breaks down love into several categories: forgiveness, honesty, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, and patience. He explains why each aspect of love is essential in showing true love in every part of our lives. Not just our marriage, but in parenting, at work, and even in the people we meet every day at the grocery store. I am truly humbled by how little love I show to other people in my life, and I'm working to make serious changes. If everyone read this book and incorporated the changes into their lives, it would change the world from home to city to country and beyond. I can't recommend this book enough.
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Another wonderful book from Gary Chapman July 16 2008
By L. Diane Wolfe, author & professional speaker - Published on
Love as a Way of Life is another incredible book on love and relationships. It focuses on the true joy of loving others and giving without expecting to receive.
Chapman defines the seven characteristics of a loving person, touching on many aspects of each. He outlines how to become less involved with ourselves and shift our focus to reaching out to others in kindness. We learn patience in all areas of our lives. Chapman explains that justice and love must work together in forgiveness. The chapter on courtesy shows what it means to be `friendly-minded' and helps us recognize the struggles of others. He demonstrates true humility and sacrificing for others. Generosity is portrayed as the giving of oneself in all aspects of life. Finally, he discusses honesty and expressing it in a loving manner.
Chapman begins these seven chapters with a checklist and ends with ways to apply it to your own life. The final section of the book shows how to apply these characteristics to specific areas and relationships in our life, including marriage, children and work.

Love as a Way of Life is similar to The Five Love Languages in that it encourages us to seek ways to enrich the lives of others, but it goes much deeper. You cannot know the Love Language of every person you meet, but you can learn to treat them with love. Chapman breaks these principals down to everyday living, from complex family dynamics to situations such as driving or shopping. Love as a Way of Life is relatable to all ages and walks of life, as the principals are universal.

Chapman makes you think about doing the small things that really do matter. The checklists are thought provoking - when you find a characteristic that is one of your weak spots, it really makes you pause. The author offers practical solutions, as he understands that we all possess weaknesses and strengths, which elevates this beyond just another "you can do it" book.

The storytelling aspect keeps readers engaged. It demonstrates that we are not alone in our struggles and gives us a sense of community. Chapman outlines potential problems and people who have encountered these challenges, and his solutions give you actual things to try.

The Apostle Paul comes to mind as someone who truly adopted love as a way of life. While we may not be able to follow his incredible example of loving sacrifice, through Love as a Way of Life, we can all strive to do a little better!
20 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love as a Way of LIfe Review July 25 2008
By S. Jones - Published on
This book is from the guy who wrote the 5 languages of love thing. He talked about the 5 ways we want to be loved: acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch. In this book he is doing a sort of "prequel" to the 5 languages. He said that in counseling people he found that the 5 languages was a great revelation, but it did not push people to want to act. They were, in fact, sometimes put off by the fact that they discovered their husband/wife's love language was acts of service. They still weren't going to DO any of that stuff. This book discusses the 7 traits of a loving person, habits we need to cultivate in order to become loving people. Its not enough to KNOW what love language someone desires, we must BE a loving person in order to put that knowledge into action.

The first premise is a relief for me: love is an action, not a feeling. An action can be put into practice, or practiced. Feelings are fleeting and ever changing. I've always heard that love is a decision, you decide to love and this book explains that statement very well.

The seven secrets are: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity and honesty. Its easy to read that list and think, "well, yeah" but Chapman gives such practical advice mixed with illustrations that you find yourself learning without meaning to.

This is the book that will give you the proper motivation to love others (Christ) and the tools to pull it off better than you are currently. It will give you the tools to being a better parent, co-worker, spouse, friend. Most of all, its a simple reminder that your job here on earth is to love.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Self improvement with a refreshing focus on others July 25 2008
By Terra Hangen - Published on
If you use some of the ideas Gary Chapman shares in his "Love as a Way of Life", you will improve the quality of life for yourself and everyone around you. This is self-improvement with the focus on treating other people better, a refreshing switch from many self-help programs.
Mr. Chapman uses short insightful stories about people he has helped as a marriage and family life counselor, to suggest to readers how they can easily apply techniques to improve themselves, and affect family, friends and strangers in an upbeat way.
He discusses seven virtues: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty and I imagine all of us can improve in some of these areas.
He gives fun little questionaires including "How patient am I?".
I turned to the chapter "Making love a way of life in the workplace", since I spend so many hours at work Monday through Friday, and I aim to make those hours pleasant, and even joyful at times. He has a lot of focus on marriages and family and tells some sweet stories about long successful marriages, which are great inspirations.
In the chapter on courtesy he offers advice like "Make requests, not demands" and "Once a failure has been confessed and forgiven, never bring it up again." These are good suggestions to keep in mind and to follow.
Everyone I know admits that they are impatient, for example. Forgiveness is another area that many of us can use help in achieving. Every reader will find helpful tips here, for some aspects of their life that can use rejuvenation.
Terra Hangen, author of Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts: Stories to Warm Your Heart and Tips to Simplify Your HolidayA Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts: Stories to Warm Your Heart and Tips to Simplify Your Holidays
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life-changing. July 15 2008
By Elizabeth Osborn - Published on
This book will transform your life. I don't know anyone who doesn't need to read it. It's well-organized, well-written, and best of all, genuine. There's so much truth on every page that it's engrossing. You need to read it slowly, though - you need time to meditate on the ideas and applications presented.

I can't say enough good things about Love as a Way of Life.
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