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Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs [Hardcover]

Emerson Eggerichs
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Sept. 7 2004
A Marriage Book with a Difference!

A Revolutionary Message
“I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught.”
  • “This is the key that I have been missing.”
  • “You connected all the dots for me.”
  • “As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material.”
  • “You’re on to something huge here.”
A Simple Message
A wife has one driving need—to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need—to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily, and biblically.

A Message That Works
Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the Love and Respect message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some Love and Respect.

Frequently Bought Together

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs + Love & Respect Workbook: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs + The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate
Price For All Three: CDN$ 43.30

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Product Details

Product Description

About the Author

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, an internationally known expert on male-female relationships, presents the Love & Respect conference with his wife, Sarah, both live and by video to more than 50,000 people each year, including groups such as the NFL, PGA, and members of congress. With degrees from Wheaton College and Dubuque Seminary and a PhD from Michigan State, Emerson pastored Trinity Church in Lansing for 19 years. He and Sarah have been married since 1973 and have three children.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
You may remember how the Beatles sang, "All you need is love." Read the first page
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Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love and Respect March 22 2008
I am a man who normally does not read or enjoy reading "inspirational" or "relational" books. My wife is the reader in these areas and is very wise and self-developed in these areas. Unfortunately, I usually don't read the books she recommends. However, this book is different. I liked it. It hits home to my basic needs. I think many women don't realize the importance to men of unconditional respect as described in this book. I'd recommend it strongly to any husband and wife who want to deepen their relationship. If you are a wife who can't get your husband to read inspirational books, relational books or marriage books, you might be pleasantly surprised to find him reading along with you and discussing this book with you.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Love & Respect Indeed Dec 7 2009
Two years ago, before I was married, I read this same book by Dr. Eggerich. At the time, I thought 'well, this sounds reasonable', and continued along my merry way after closing the front cover. I remember now that, at the time I'd picked the book up at the store, a woman mentioned to me 'this book saved my marriage, honestly... pay attention and you won't regret it'. Reading it through for a second time, after being married for a year and a half? Dr. Eggerich has it right.

Women need love, and men need respect. Both are mutually inclusive, because when a woman receives love she feels respected, and when a man is respected, it's a sign of love to him. Eliminate either love or respect, and couples start on what he terms 'the Crazy Cycle'. How do you stop the crazy cycle? It's all based on love and respect. Dr. Eggerich outlines what this means for both husbands and wives, what they can do to increase love and respect (and maintain it!), and how to prevent getting back on the Crazy Cycle in the future.

Whether you're dating, engaged, or married for any length of time, the Dr. speaks the truth... and it's worth a listen!
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Book Shows Husband's Side Sept. 27 2009
Love and Respect, though seemingly just another self-help, pop-psychology book, offers a potentially ground-breaking view of marriage. Rather than calling for the typical sissification of the man by getting him to talk about his feelings and in general see things through a woman's eyes, Dr. Eggerichs asks women to see men differently as well. For once, an author does not assume that women's ways of doing things are normative and morally superior, and that men must conform.

Central to the argument, Eggerich asserts that men and women are not the same, and that the Bible's teachings on marriage are as valid as ever because it shows how men and women have different needs. While women are verbal beings in need of assurance that they are loved and safe, men are action-oriented, and would rather silently share an experience than talk about feelings. Men communicate through words, but more than that, through their actions.

Feminists have indoctrinated women to look down on men and not to understand men. They no longer meet their husband's deepest need, which is to feel respected. When they cut down their husband, he shuts off, and she feels unloved. In order to get that love, she becomes more rude and cutting so that he will be able to see just how desperately unloved she feels. This leads the husband to distance himself even more. Thus the couple has entered a vicious cycle.

For this cycle to be broken, wives need to respect their husbands unconditionally, even when they don't feel respect for their man. The husband must unconditionally love his wife, even when he doesn't feel it. This love and respect is actually not about feelings, but about responding to God's call.
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars refreshing and timely Feb. 6 2006
By Marcie
Exceptional new look at the marriage relationship. A vital guide to what it means to love AND respect. So often respect is ignored, taken right from the scriptures, it is clear this is how we are to relate. A very rich spiritual element, hones in on our obedience to God.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Sound Advice to Men and Women in Relationships July 11 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Excellent book from a Christian perspective but most of the principles are applicable to anyone in a relationship. My husband read this book before I did (he's not into self-help books at all) and he highly recommended it. I read it after he did and I would have to agree; the book helps each person in a relationship understand the other's viewpoint. The basic premise is this: Husbands, love your wives unconditionally. Wives, respect your husband unconditionally. Emerson Eggerich's book gives very sound advice as to how this can be done whether or not a significant other actually 'deserves' special treatment. The author also defines instances when principles do not apply, which is good, as there are times when it is wise to leave a relationship that destroys trust. It is easy to understand why this book is a best seller.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Marriage in Christ May 26 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
marriage is not easy and it is definitely not a fairy tale! This book talks about how we, individually, can contribute into our marriage, to build up our spouse in Christ. Easy to read, a lot to reflect on.
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5.0 out of 5 stars You must read it ! March 10 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I think everyone should read this book either you are single or in couple , it will really help you to understand your partner !!
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4.0 out of 5 stars helpful Jan. 1 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I feel that the book gave me greater understanding of my wife's need. I need to love unconditionally. It also helped me understand why I react the way I do at times.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Very good! Very insightful
Published 1 month ago by Kayla
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed my relationship for the better
If you are thinking about getting married, are engaged, newlywed, or have been married for years.... you should pick up this book. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Katarina Ginder
5.0 out of 5 stars Great marriage help!
I read this after I became engaged, and before I married. It was extremely helpful to me, as I had never been in a relationship before, and it provided me insight into how guys... Read more
Published 13 months ago by Brenda Hill
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome information!
Enter into the land of the opposite sex. Easy thought provoking methods of creating communication and a stronger relationship with your loved ones!
Published 14 months ago by Misteriah
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a book unique in Christian literature
It is a good informative read. If you are married and Christian I highly recommend this book.
I am widowed, but I purchased it because one day I hope to marry again, and feel... Read more
Published 16 months ago by Tazette
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book
This is the best book that I have read on marriage and I highly recommend to any couple who has been together for a short time or for many years.
Published 16 months ago by John Tracy
5.0 out of 5 stars Nailed It!
I've never realized it before, but the title of this book is so true! No more riding on that crazy cycle.
Published 17 months ago by Matthew Van Lochem
2.0 out of 5 stars deceptive
The DVD with this order is not the Seminar as posted but is a promo DVD with only one of five topics. We have now ordered the set direct from the company. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Douglas Wm. Knight
5.0 out of 5 stars Help for the stagnant!
Lots of great ideas that I had never heard before. Started trying some out on my hubby. What do you know? This guy knows what he's talking about.
Published 20 months ago by Margaret
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