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Behaviorist David Lieberman thinks all conflicts have something in common. Whether you're dealing with the complaining customer, the coworker with charisma bypass surgery, or the fallout from forgetting a friend's birthday, the resolution lies in understanding what he calls the "conflict recipe." The ingredients of all conflicts are fear and perceived loss of respect, says Lieberman. When people and events don't respond as we planned, we fear a loss of control. We compensate and translate this fear--and the lowered sense of esteem it brings--into anger. Ergo, conflict resolution is accomplished by offering the injured party the ingredients for restoring self-regard and a sense of control.
Based on this recipe, Lieberman creates dozens of step-by-step scenarios for resolving conflicts of every shape, including family money feuds, contretemps with friends, personality clashes, passive-aggressive coworkers, and differences in values. Other particularly strong chapters direct readers to seek forgiveness for their own behavior and provide emergency techniques for standoffs and longtime estrangement. Lieberman explains his basic theory with clarity, and illustrates its practice with smart strategies and chapter summaries. This practicality and consistency allow Make Peace with Anyone to deliver on the title's promise. --Barbara Mackoff --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
Getting someone to forgive you is a difficult matter, but David J. Lieberman (Get Anyone to Do Anything) shows how to do this and defuse a host of other common conflicts in Make Peace with Anyone: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, or Estrangement. Lieberman guides readers through personality clashes, passive aggressive behavior, dealing with criticism and delivering criticism in such diverse situations as family feuds, workplace squabbles and marital discord. He stresses listening and showing respect as vital for dealing with most contretemps, but also includes last ditch emergency measures for the most intractable conflicts.
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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What does it mean when we say that we are hurt? Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
What does it mean when we say that we are hurt? Read the first page
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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Another 'must have' from David Lieberman,
This review is from: Make Peace With Anyone: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, or Estrangement (Paperback)
I read this before going into mediation to sort out a settlement for my divorce. This knowledge has really helped keep a volatile situation under control. It's another one of those books everyone should own. If they did, the world would be a very different place!
5.0 out of 5 stars
Skeptic convinced,
By A Customer
This review is from: Make Peace With Anyone: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, or Estrangement (Hardcover)
I bought this book so I might get some tips on repairing the damage recently done to a very important relationship. It was just one of many books I bought in a self-help book buying spree, an attempt to give me insight into serious conflict resolution. (The relationship I am speaking of is a romantic one, too.) I thought I'd probably end up returning this book, because I was pretty sure Old Liebby couldn't tell me anything new. How wrong I was! Listen, if you are serious about making amends, get your humility in order and read this book. Lieberman makes it clear that your motives for resolving the conflict must be good (as in, NOT manipulative and selfish), which impressed me. He gives point by point powerful psychological techniques for resolving interpersonal problems that ultimately are not only deeply loving, but empowering, as well! I love this guy--he's doing a great service to humankind by presenting his material in such a careful, thoughtful way. Cheers to you, Liebby.
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Groundbreaking Work,
By
This review is from: Make Peace With Anyone: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, or Estrangement (Hardcover)
One of my favorite writers on human behavior, David Lieberman, shares his insight and understanding of conflict in this powerful work. He proposes that conflicts generally follow a basic recipe. The ingredients in the recipe are fear and a perceived loss of respect. If people don't act or react the way we expect then we fear a loss of control. When we fear a loss of control or perceive that there has been a loss of respect then our self-esteem is injured and we follow our first reaction to a loss of self-esteem, we fight back by turning it into anger. If this is the source of the emotional factor in conflict then the solution is to provide the other party with the ability to regain self-respect and at least some sense of control.How to give this sense of control and self-esteem back to the other party is the focus of the book. Lieberman takes you step by step through many scenarios so that you can learn how to adapt to a situation and proactively make peace with anyone. Whether it is dealing with a long-standing conflict or stopping a problem before it gets out of hand, the book is filled with useful and practical techniques that are sure to dramatically change your relationships with others for the better. A highly recommended read.
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