How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less Paperback – Jul 2 2008
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The average person's attention span lasts about 30 seconds. That means first and immediate impressions count, and big. In this modern-day update of Dale Carnegie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, former fashion photographer Nicholas Boothman instructs you in how to mold those 30 seconds to your greatest advantage and connect with others at business and social functions.
Boothman, now a lecturer and licensed master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming (the art and science of how the brain affects human connections), says that the key to making others like you quickly lies in establishing a rapport: you have to find out what you have in common or, if you seemingly have nothing in common, purposely try to become like the other person for a short time. He then goes on to offer simple techniques for getting a rapport going: adopt a positive attitude; make sure your words, tone, and gestures are all saying the same thing; synchronize your attitude and body movements to those of another person's (which makes the person feel comfortable with you--although he or she may not know why); and ask lots of open-ended questions. Boothman also describes how to figure out a stranger's favored sense for receiving information about the world--some rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input--and use it to your best advantage.
If discovering how to connect with others is the secret to business and life success, as Boothman contends, then employing the strategies in this book will make you instantly likeable and give you a leg up on the competition. --Nancy Monson --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
Blessed with an irresistible premise and title, this well-packaged self-help book draws its advice from neuro-linguistic programming and a study of interpersonal communication conducted by two UCLA doctors. While its clearly presented techniques may help readers clear communications hurdles in social and professional interactions, this upbeat volume will probably appeal most to readers interested in dating and nurturing romantic attachments. A former fashion photographer who gives "Positive Connection" seminars, Boothman breaks down the process of connecting with people into discrete stepsAmeeting, establishing rapport and opening up communicationAand provides simple examples, self-assessments, exercises and sample dialogue. He contends that a key to establishing rapport lies in synchronizing behavior or mimicking the other person's pose, facial expression, gestures, body language and tone of voice. According to the principles of neuro-linguistic programming, Boothman recommends categorizing people according to how they take in information (e.g., visually, aurally or by feel) and responding in kind. Though the book reads like an adapted seminar or puffed-up magazine article, Workman's ambitious promotional campaign and usual canny marketing may well make this little book one of the season's most popular impulse purchases. 20-city author tour.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
It's really useful when you learn how to attract attention of people which is very important in our daily life.
This book is concise, user-friendly and uses simple language for conveying the auther's message.
Part (1) is an introduction about the importance of the first impression. There is an old saying which is true most of the time (The first impression is the last impression.) All what you need is to adopt a positive attitude, make sure your words, tone, and gestures are in harmony, and use your gift in organizing your speech to maintain an attractive conversation by using open-ended questions to try to discover what the other person likes.
Part (2) focuses on the first 90 seconds for establishing a rapport. As Mr. Boothman said, the key to establish a rapport with people is to learn how to be like them.
Part (3) is talking about the secrets of interactions. I was amazed when I learned that some people rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input. You just should try to discover what the other person prefers and use it to your best advantage! After doing the exercise to determine my favorite sense, it came out to be (Visual)! The author gives us some exercises for determining the characteristics of the people whose favorable senses are visual, auditory, and kinesthetic.
Keep in you mind that your reward at the end will be the acceptance of the other person for your personality.
However, I agree with some reviewers that there are few points which were not clarified in this book:
1. emphasizing on general appearance.
2. exploring coversational techniques.
3.Read more ›
I have Asperger's, so I really needed to read a book like this much earlier in life. If I had, I would have gotten an idea of what is appropriate to do and say in what situation much earlier in life! Although this book is not geared specifically to those with Asperger's or those who are anywhere on the autism spectrum, it is as useful for them as it is for anybody else.
I am the Director of business development with an audio,lighting and staging company in Canada.Using this informaton made more sales for my company!
I have 2 stories to relate to you.
Story #1 Part of our operation involves a retail sector. I was watching our sales staff present our products , they were asking all the " Closing" questions but were failing to get the sale. They were talking but not connecting! I took one of the sales people aside and using Nick's teachings from his book I found out my sales rep. was an Auditory. Guess what? That is the way he was relating to the clients.
I pointed out that his clients were any one of 3 types of people. Visuals, Auditory, Kino(Touchy Feely Type). I taught him a quick lesson on how to determine which they were. Then I told him to communicate with them in a way they like to process the information.
If they were visual he would show them something...If they were auditory he would let them listen to it...and if the were a "Kino" he would talk about how this would make them feel. Results were INSTANT increased Sales!
I was asked by a major Canadian corporation to assist senior management with presentation techniques. I took the teachings of Nick to the boardroom. I helped them construct a presentation that would cover all the various "types" of people that would be the target audience. The result was out standing! All the presenters who listend and practiced were complimented on a job well done. And for all my hard work I secured yet another client for our company.
This book will help business people turn a transaction into an Interaction.....That means RAPPORT! That means increased sales. Bravo!
It presents a look at developing "rapport" during the first few seconds of meeting someone - a practice that can make the difference in a relationship or a business deal.
The book also presents practical advice on enhancing existing relationships by understanding other people's methods of interpreting sensory input.
Unlike many books by motivational speakers who spout motherhood statements and generalizations, author Nicholas Boothman uses plain language and effective metaphors that provide the reader with concrete communication "tools." A fascinating "read," this book is a guide to be used along your day-to-day life path.
Boothman's writing style is remarkably clear and concise. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less is an oasis of simplicity for everyone coping in today's complex world.
Most recent customer reviews
Had been casually implementing some as I read the book, wow, immediate results. Now that I'm finished, can't wait to do the workbook exercises in earnest. Highly recommend!Published 17 months ago by Kasia
People STILL don't like me. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blaPublished on April 7 2013 by frankiethepunk
Take the advice in this book and you'll have much better encounters with everyone. You'll start to get what you want without having to hit that proverbial wall. Read morePublished on Aug. 8 2009 by Cliff Lapenskie
This book is very popular for good reason. Under the somewhat flakey cover and title name, there is solid information, that was in my case, recommended to me by a highly qualifed... Read morePublished on April 5 2009 by Bryan G. Keelan
I think it is usefull but is a little boring especially if english is not your first languagePublished on July 30 2003 by Usuario22
Will this book help make you a more popular person? I suppose the basic flaw of any self-help book is that the reader can readily adopt the program of a book and find the on-ramp... Read morePublished on July 17 2003 by David Group
This is indeed a book that can CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
As someone who always had trouble connecting with people this book showed me very specific methods to use to cause people to... Read more
I've decided that this book does in fact serve it's purpose - to make people like you. It starts by helping you connect better with people, & I really like the piece on determining... Read morePublished on Dec 2 2002 by Reggie Nickson
This book repeats what I've often read that every person controls his own attitude. I found Nicholas Boothman's ideas for getting people to open up and communicate both... Read morePublished on Jan. 4 2002