Married Mom, Solo Parent: Finding God's Strength to Face the Challenge [Paperback]

I love to read. Give me a good book (preferably set in Scotland or Ireland) that I can immerse myself in for a few hours - and escape the dirty house and whining children - and I am happy.

I am not as excited about parenting or 'self help' books. I dread picking up a book where some woman (who is perfect and so are her children, I know because she spends half the book telling us so) preaches to me on what I am doing wrong and how she wants me to fix it, or on the other side - a book where I may have to look deep inside and admit that I need to change and do things differently (gasp!).

That is probably the main reason this book sat on my dresser for longer than I will admit...

The Soldier and I have been married for almost 20 years, but he hasn't been a Soldier for all of them. In fact, he had a pretty successful job when he joined the National Guard and living the military life has been a major adjustment for all of us. One thing that didn't change a whole lot was him being gone. In his civilian career, he would be gone for weeks or months at a time working on projects. In fact, he missed the last four months of my last pregnancy, just coming home in time for the delivery. While I got big and round and parented five children, he was taking ferries all over Alaska and eating out with his coworkers every night. At that point, I really wanted to trade places...

I agreed to review this book because a) I love to read; b) I thought it would be a great giveaway for my MilSpouse friends.

I had no idea that I was 'chosen' to review this book because I needed it so desperately.

Through the good, the bad and the ugly, Carla Anne Coroy takes you through step by step and asks (and answers!) the really tough questions that we are all afraid to ask. She isn't the perfect woman telling you what you should be doing, but the one willing to share her story - mistakes, hurts and all.

With chapters like "Emotional Divorce", "Those Should Be His Chores!", "Discipline Divided" and "Give Me a Break", you will learn biblical ways to face the emotions and struggles that come with being a "Married Mom, Solo Parent". I really appreciated how everything Carla Anne tackles is backed by scripture (and not preachy).

This book hit me hard. Carla Anne answered questions and addressed hurts I didn't even know I had. I went through emotions that I have been stuffing for a long time. I will be reading it again - this time with a highlighter - and taking notes. There are even chapters I will be reading with the Soldier.

If your husband is in the military and deploying or training for long periods of time or he works away from home a lot or even if he has just 'checked out' of his roles as husband and father, this book is for you. You won't regret reading it and you may just finish with a new perspective and a changed attitude. I did.

Don't miss Carla Anne Coroy's website. You can even download a free journal and study guide. (I love free.)

I have been acquainted with Carla Anne for about five years, and so, even though I am NOT a solo parent, I wanted to support her by purchasing her book. I am so glad that I did! Not only has it given me insight into some of the challenges that MMSP's face, but it also has spoken to various struggles in my own life.

I was challenged by how Carla Anne would read her Bible every night until she fell asleep.

I was angered about how she was treated by the people mentioned in her "Fitting In" story on pages 89 and 90; I also hoped that I have not behaved like those people who were so insensitive to her and her family.

On page 87, what she said about fellowship really resonated with me: "Fellowship is when a group of people meet for the express purpose of encouraging each other to become better followers of Jesus Christ. This means that true fellowship can happen within your own famly or even with complete strangers...When you fellowship with others, you should look for ways to share God's Word with each other; pray with and for each other; and speak words of truth, love, and blessings to each other in the name of Jesus."

"Remember to be a student of your children," is another statement that I really appreciate. Simple, yet profound.

This book is filled with appropriate Scripture references, it shares many of Carla Anne's own very personal struggles, and gives encouragement, hope, and practical advice, too. I am looking forward to reading more of it, and hope that Carla Anne will be writing more books in the near future!

Carla Anne Coroy writes with integrity and honesty. She shares her own experiences with such clarity that anyone can relate to her. Anyone who has been married and has children, knows that reality doesn't necessarily match dreams and disappointment may set in. Carla Anne gives practical suggestions for how to not just avoid disappointment, but overcome to find joy, excitement and hope in your marriage.

Carla Anne does not beat around the bush or give vague, pie-in-the-sky, theoretical ideas for helping moms whose husbands are absent or disengaged. She speaks from the heart of her own frustrations, and gives ideas and suggestions that make sense and are easily applied in almost any situation.

I found her chapters on emotions, honoring dad and meeting needs to be particularly helpful. We all have areas in our lives that we wish weren't there. Carla Anne opens the possibility of dialogue so that women can come out of hiding those negative feelings, to find a place of healing and peace.

I appreciate the way Carla Anne never lays blame on husbands for being away from their families. She directs the encouragement to find God's strength to face the challenge solely to the wife. Really, we can only change ourselves, not others.

I highly recommend this book to all moms, whether they solo parent or not. It helps those who are solo parenting to do so with integrity, and those who don't to understand the ones who do.