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Why Mars And Venus Collide Cd: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Man and Women Cope Differently with Stress [Abridged, Audiobook] [Audio CD]

John Gray
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
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Book Description

Jan. 10 2008

Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress. It's a common scenario: a husband returns home from work stressed out and eager to kick back on the couch and watch television. A wife returns home from work stressed out and wants to talk about it with her husband. What happens? Neither is on the same page, anger and resentment set in, and Mars and Venus collide.

Using his signature insight that has helped millions of couples transform their relationships, John Gray once again arms the inhabitants of Mars and Venus with information that will help them live harmoniously ever after. In Why Mars and Venus Collide, Gray focuses on the ways that men and women misinterpret and mismanage the stress in their daily lives, and how these reactions ultimately affect their relationships. "It's not that he's just not into you; he needs to fulfill a biological need," Gray explains. "And it's not that she wants to henpeck you; she also has a biological drive." He shows, for instance, how a husband's withdrawal is actually a natural way for him to replenish his depleted testosterone levels and restore his well-being, and how a woman's need for conversation and support helps her build her own stress-reducing hormone, oxytocin.

Backed up by groundbreaking scientific research, Gray offers a clear, easy-to-understand program to bridge the gap between the two planets, providing effective communication strategies that will actually lower stress levels. Whether in a relationship or single, this book will help both men and women understand their new roles in a modern, work-oriented society, and allow them to discover a variety of new and practical ways to create a lifetime of love and harmony.


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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Gray reads his take on why men and women are growing incapable of managing their relationships because of our work-oriented society. While not exactly as groundbreaking as it labels itself, Gray's insights are truthful and easy to understand. His reading is straightforward and slightly bland, but the lessons he preaches are the real stars. Gray offers simple insights for both sexes, useful even if you aren't involved in a relationship. However, this book lacks profound lessons or discoveries, and listeners searching for that tidbit of information that will save their relationship may be disappointed. Gray's reading also is somewhat disengaged from the material, which makes listening to him a chore at times. Simultaneous release with the Harper hardcover (Reviews, Dec. 13, 2007).
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an alternate Audio CD edition.

Review

“Helpful in any relationship.” (Booklist)

“Packed with practical solutions . . . Owing to Gray’s popularity, this book deserves space in every public library.” (Library Journal)

“Thought provoking and illuminating.” (BookPage)

“It’s simplistic...easy to digest and no doubt headed for the bestseller lists.” (Publishers Weekly) --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars another great John Gray's product June 16 2014
Format:Audio CD|Verified Purchase
Its worth every penny and more. This cd is an easily listen tool if you don't have time to read his book. It has help make make sense of how stress can effort our lives and negatively effects our relationship.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.4 out of 5 stars  63 reviews
24 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Empowering April 7 2008
By Rebecca of Amazon - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
"The real reason women are tired today is not because they have too much to do. It is because they are not producing enough oxytocin to cope with stress." ~ pg. 81

In "When Mars and Venus Collide," John Gray masterfully guides readers from a place of conflict to a place of peace. He gives the tools that are necessary to cultivate a harmonious relationship and also gives scientific proof to support his main arguments.

While this book seems to have been written mostly for women there is an amazing list of ideas for men who want to boost their partner's oxytocin (helps women deal with stress) levels. There is also a list for women who want to boost their oxytocin levels naturally.

Since the last place you want to be even more stressed is at home with your partner, John Gray shows you how to argue more effectively. Instead of avoiding problems there are ways to connect with your partner while you solve real-life issues.

As life becomes increasingly more stressful it is good to know that there is a way to balance your life through thoughtful actions and positive thoughts. John Gray has refined his message so you can feel the fluidity of his thoughts. At the end of the book, he also discusses lifestyle choices that are essential for health.

This book will encourage a reduction in stress in any Mars and Venus relationship. I can recommend this book to women who are trying to balance their work and home life and need to connect with their partner in a more meaningful way.

~The Rebecca Review
22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This Doctor gives TWO THUMBS UP!! March 15 2008
By Dr. Scott Freeman - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
I'm a Doctor, and BY FAR the #1 cause of all people's concerns is stress. Whether it's back pain or emotional distress. Financial concerns or lack of energy. It doesn't matter the outward expression. 99% of the time, the ultimate cause is an inability to manage the stresses of their life.

I saw John speak last night, and was blown away by the content of his new book. Finally, a biological basis for who we are as men & women! It's so clear and makes so much sense now.

What I especially appreciated were his easy to apply actions and strategies for creating more happiness and success, both as individuals and as couples.

The few hours spent learning this new material from John last night has instantaneously catapulted the quality of my life, my relationships, and my ability to make a difference and contribute to others.

Thank you John!
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Destress Your Marriage And Save It Dec 12 2008
By Kelly Jadon - Published on Amazon.com
From: [...]
Author & Book Views On A Healthy Life!

Book Review: Why Mars & Venus Collide by John Gray, Ph.D.

Are you stressed out? The burdens of work, child-rearing, credit card debt, commuting, including the rising costs of healthcare, housing, and food is demanding a significant payment from our marriages and romantic relationships today. We are too tired and busy to maintain our partners emotional and physical needs. Which in turn, creates further pressure, leading to fights, emotional separation, and divorce.

John Gray,Ph.D. author of Why Mars and Venus Collide points out the effects of stress on modern relationships:

Mild depression from stress suppresses passion.

A sense of urgency takes away our patience and flexibility.

A sense of distress, anxiety, and panic greatly diminishes our capacity to be happy.

Irritability overshadows our feelings of affection, appreciation, and tenderness.

Decreased energy limits how much we can freely give of ourselves.

With unstable blood sugar levels, our moods either become flat or fluctuate too much.

Men lose interest in the relationship while women feel overwhelmed with too much to do and not enough time and support.

Beyond this, stress of course leads to physical problems as well--infertility issues, digestive difficulties, insomnia, high blood pressure, and decreased immune function among other impairments.

Men and women react differently to stress because of chemical and physiological differences within our bodies. Not understanding the behaviors of the opposite sex during these difficult times can lead to further misunderstanding. Men produce large amounts of testosterone, especially during stress situations, which hinders oxytocin--a calming chemical. This allows men to fight for survival or protect the family when necessary. It also causes hostility, withdrawal, and sometimes anger.

Women produce oxytocin, released in large quantities during childbirth and breastfeeding. Estrogen, another female chemical, raises the effectiveness of oxytocin. Women would rather talk through their difficulties, protect and care for their children, and surround themselves with female support.

Understanding your partner is the key to a destressed relationship, making home a safe haven rather than a war of roses. Men tend to think of themselves as the breadwinners, difficult as it may be today. Though needing nurturing and love, they are risk takers with money, more dominant and independent, and tend to focus by blocking out distractions. When under stress, they will become silent. Best option here--John Gray writes that it is important to leave the man alone. In fact, ignore him for a while. This will help destress him.

Women tend to multitask, see the implications of a situation in a broader context, reach out to absorb more information, and skillfully use verbal abilities. Faced with stress, they will argue and persuade. Best option here--give the woman some attention. Ask about how she feels.

John Gray states that a woman's greatest challenge is caring for herself. She is a giver. 9 out of 10 women will sign up to donate their organs if killed in a traffic accident versus 1 out of 10 men. A man will give everything he has to support his family and then return home tired and needing to unwind. Having been married nearly 20 years, I understand this distinction between men and women. My sister-in-law phoned me not long ago, concerned that her husband arrives home from a 12-hour workday, only wishing to watch TV. Because she did not comprehend his need to switch gears and relax, this issue had created some minor friction in their household. I advised my sister-in-law to not nag her husband about watching television first, explaining that many men do this to loosen up after work.

Handle your stress rather than blame it on your spouse. Recognize that your spouse deals with stress too, even if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Best stress releasers:

Relax through yoga, meditation, massage therapy, listen to music, read a book, or just sit quietly.

Make time for yourself and don't feel guilty about it.

Sleep 7 to 9 hours a night.

Eat properly--fruits, vegetables, lean protein, whole grains.

Exercise induces the release of endorphins which will also improve your mood.

Talk to a listener who will not judge you, but who can offer a new viewpoint.

Seek out a professional therapist who will treat serious stress related disorders.

Compromise your point on occasion and avoid the argument.

Write down your feelings, volunteer your time, begin a hobby.

Say "No" to demands that exceed your time limits and abilities.

Avoid smoking, emotional eating, too much alcohol, and abusing drugs.

Highly Recommended Reading: Why Mars And Venus Collide by John Gray, Ph.D. The book will open your mind and eyes and allow you to see your partner for who he or she is. Restore the passion and romance in your marriage with the insight offered through the author's research and knowledge of the intricacy of relationships.

5 Stars
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Explains Why Men don't want to "Talk about it". April 18 2008
By Michelle S. - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I found the book very helpful to my relationship. Helped me to realize my partner can't be "all things" to me. I must have close girlfriends for a lot of "feeliings" & "venting" conversations. Men just aren't into it. Helped me to understand why I constantly hear, "I don't want to talk about it!" Helped me to realize I don't need to talk about every disagreement or issue. Many things are just better left unsaid. Men want to "fix" everything. Women want to "discuss" everything. This was my personal experience with the book relating to my life. For $15. you can't go wrong!
15 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for women executives Jan. 31 2008
By John G. Agno - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
As a leadership coach, who helps women executives win at the game of business in C-suites across Corporate America, this book has been most helpful in understanding how important the hormone oxytocin is in reducing an executive woman's stress levels.

Since the culture at most companies has been shaped over time by male executives, women are at a disadvantage when it comes to gender-based differences in communication styles and coping with on-the-job stress. Taking part in testosterone-producting activities at work can diminish a woman's oxytocin levels.

Creating a balanced lifestyle, that sustains productive energy by producing plenty of oxytocin, is the key to reducing stress levels and insuring the female executive's success both at work and at home. That's "Why Mars & Venus Collide" by John Gray, Ph.D. is a must read for all women executives.
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