- Mass Market Paperback: 401 pages
- Publisher: HarperCollins Canada / Non-Fiction (Jun 22 1999)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0061098388
- ISBN-13: 978-0061098383
- Product Dimensions: 16.8 x 10.7 x 3.3 cm
- Shipping Weight: 204 g
- Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #68,503 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- See Complete Table of Contents
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Product Details |
Product Description
From Amazon
A breakup, divorce, or loss of a loved one isn't just the end of your relationship with that person. It's a continuation of every feeling of abandonment you've ever suffered. It's the loss of a system of approval you'd come to depend on. The struggle, as Gray points out in Starting Over, isn't just to find a new partner, but to get over those feelings of abandonment or loss or anger or whatever else gets dredged up by the end of a relationship.
Perhaps the book's most crucial chapter posits that the best way to get over the loss of love is to focus on the "love" more than the "loss." That may seem impossible, especially if the bum took off with your best friend, your life savings, and your Lyle Lovett CDs, but Gray didn't get to be a household name because the advice in his Venus and Mars books doesn't work. Remembering only the bad parts, Gray says, leaves you with an important part of your emotional being closed to new business.
As for the Venus and Mars stuff, that comes in the second half of the book, when Gray looks at how men and women start new relationships from different points of view, with different priorities (a man might want to have fun with no strings attached; a woman might carry with her a lengthy list of requirements for her next partner, a list that excludes virtually all available men).
If you've never read Gray's work before, you have to be prepared to check your cynicism at the door. This is earnest stuff, but it's also based on decades of experience counseling clients. He's not one of those photogenic, nine-times-divorced shrinklets who's telling you how to conduct your relationships without any real clue of what makes love last. This is the real package: nothing glib, nothing quick and easy, nothing you could've figured out from a "Love Is..." cartoon. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Book Description
Even thought it feels like it, it's not the end--you will survive and love again.
John Gray understands that there is nothing more devastating than a broken heart. Having helped millions of people develop better relationships, he now offers comfort and advice for those coping with the loss of love. With the compassionate wisdom of Mars and Venus Starting Over, you will learn to become whole again and go on to a rich, rewarding life--and the promise of new love.
While the process of healing is similar on Mars and Venus, there are distinct differences and John Gray provides warmth and insight, he shows men and women how to heal their bruised hearts as they:
deal with pain
find forgiveness
discover the strength to let go
rebuild confidence
rise to the challenge of finding fulfillment again
Mars and Venus Starting Over is a gift of love, a light in the darkness of your grief. Trust john Gray to steer you through this difficult time and turn a painful ending into a joyous new beginning.
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First Sentence
When single again, men and women face different challenges. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
When single again, men and women face different challenges. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
If you fit into any of the categories, rush to get this book,
By
This review is from: Mars And Venus Starting Over (Paperback)
Heard and enjoyed the taped version of MARS AND VENUS STARINGOVER by John Gray . . . the subtitle says it all: "A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce or the Loss of a Loved One." If anybody finds himself or herself in any of those categories, then The first third is general information . . . Gray then presents material Among the ideas that I got from listening: * [the four healing emotions] Healing Emotion 2: Sadness Healing Emotion 3: Fear Healing Emotion 4: Sorrow * Another way to process the four healing emotions is simply to ask If you wish to explore a little deeper, there are a few more questions you can QUESTION ONE QUESTION TWO QUESTION THREE QUESTION FOUR By asking these four questions or practicing the three parts of the feeling
3.0 out of 5 stars
A decent read, maybe a bit too long with a lot of fluffly talk.,
By R. Chiu "I'm all up in your hair like dandruff" (Toronto, ON, CANADA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)
This review is from: Mars And Venus Starting Over (Paperback)
The content in this book did help give me insight on the situation that I was going through. I did find that a lot of things could be said much more simpler and succinctly.I found the part where Gray reveals how differently Men and Women may approach losses very fascinating and it enlightened me a lot. While I was reading this book I was reading 3 other similar books by different authors and this book is probably dead middle in terms of appealing to me. It might be that I just don't particularly enjoy Gray's style of writing. The content provided is quality stuff nonetheless.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
A wonderful guide, worth reading and rereading,
By
This review is from: Mars And Venus Starting Over (Paperback)
Many books about divorce get as far as "this is a trauma" and "don't hurt the kids," and maybe give you the standard "positive thinking" advice -but this book goes into emotional machinery, and how to really grow and not just cope. There is much more to this book than a quick blurb can suggest, but one main point is: There are four negative emotions which need to be recognized in dealing with a major loss. These are fear, anger, sadness, and sorrow (grieving for hopes that are now impossible). It is easy to get stuck in one or two of these four, but the one of these we are not aware of is likely to be the hidden hook which is holding us back. He also has a great many practical observations about ways rebounding men and women injure ourselves and others - the first one is that men tend to get involved too soon, and women too late. This is a pop-psychology/self-help book, but don't underrate it - it's got enough to say (at least for divorced people) that I've reread it three times in the last month.
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