Martial Arts for Women: A Practical Guide [Paperback]

For example: "Certain guys at certain ages and at certain ranks develop an attitude problem toward women" (p. 132), and "even in the most female-friendly school [and Lawler does not equate *female-friendly* with *wimpy*], women occasionally encounter men who have a condescending or belittling attitude toward them" (p. 34).

Both the world of business and the world of martial arts are still mostly populated and run by men. Some female martial artists may never have to deal with prejudice against them, but again, if the pattern holds true, most of us women will at some point have the pleasure of being bullied or denigrated, even in the martial arts. I appreciate Lawler's attempt to put such negative experiences in context, and to give us some idea of how to deal with such a problem if (or when?) it arises.

Reviewer Keith Nelson (fish_doc@hotmail.com) wilfully misinterpreted the "rib-cracking" incident. Lawler asserts that her sparring partner "kept walking into [her] reverse punch" (p. 69), but then takes full responsibility for not having enough control to keep from breaking his ribs anyway. She describes how "appalled" she was that she had allowed the injury to occur. She relates how she lost her nerve and was encouraged and coached by *both female and male* sparring partners until she got it back. Then (and only then, because Lawler herself didn't label this man as a bully until hearing it from other women), she reveals that the sparring partner she injured was notorious for sparring too hard with partners he felt were less capable than he was. He quit coming to classes after Lawler broke his ribs. She says:

"Occasionally, justice is served in the martial arts, and though I was still wrong and at fault for not using better control and for causing an injury, I felt oddly relieved. It was somehow appropriate that I, who didn't know the man's background, actually served to help him understand what it was like when your partner sparred too hard" (70).

It seems to me that Lawler took full responsibility for her own error, while acknowledging that bullying and inappropriate aggression lead only to trouble and should not be tolerated. She encourages women to take problems with bullying, etc., to their instructors first and foremost, and then describes other reasonable tactics women can use if their sparring partners refuse to follow the rules.

On the positive side, Lawler repeatedly encourages female martial artists to practice with both female and male martial artists, in order to develop a range of sparring abilities. She relates stories of positive experiences with both female and male sparring partners.

Summation: Maybe the book should have been titled "Tae Kwon Do for Women." That criticism seems justified. The "how dare she give women the impression that some men are bullies" criticism is just plain silly.