Mesa of Lost Women [Import]

First of all, I feel I should state that I am a huge fan of B-movies, cult movies, bad cheesy old horror/sci-fi movies, anything weird etc, and if you are not into this kind of thing, this movie probably isn't even worth one star to you. That being said, I highly recommend this movie to anyone who can relate to my obsession.
Mesa of Lost Women is often compared to the movies of director Ed Wood, and is considered by some to be the "worst movie of all time," but I don't think that analysis of the film is entirely fair or accurate. Don't get me wrong, I think Ed Wood was a genius when it comes to schlock, and comparing any B-movie to one of Wood's films should be considered the highest possible compliment, but this movie differs from Wood's movies and just about any other grade Z film I can think of, and is certainly not the worst movie ever. (It sure as hell beats watching Gone With the Wind!)
First of all, as soon as this film begins, it is plain to see that this is movie is not meant to be taken as a serious straightforward attempt at horror/sci-fi. The bizarreness of this movie is deliberate, effective and very unusual for its time. If this film was made by David Lynch or John Waters, people would be calling it the eccentric work of a genius, but since it was made in 1952 when people just didn't make those kind of movies, most people mistake it for an inept attempt at making a "normal" monster movie. In fact Mesa of Lost Women resembles the work of Lynch at least as much if not more than it does the movies of Ed Wood, and although Mesa of Lost Women has been accused of "making no sense," It actually makes a hell of a lot more sense than Mulholland Drive, and is just as understandable and enjoyable as Eraserhead which, in my opinion, is Lynch's best movie.
The soundtrack of the movie also deserves to be mentioned (way cool and also very unusual for its time.) Jackie Coogan is great as a deadpan mad scientist and Harmon Stevens is excellent as the crazy Dr. Masterson. Watch for his odd frozen facial expressions. This is a must-have for b-movie fans or anyone who appreciates weirdness on film.

When I happened upon this movie, a couple of things caught my eye: it features Jackie Coogan (who would go on to play Uncle Fester in The Addams Family) and there are some huge tarantulas involved. How bad could it be? The answer is very bad indeed. Here's a basic rundown of the plot. Dr. Arana (Coogan) has a secret lab on Zarpa Mesa in the Mexican desert, where he is performing growth experiments on humans and animals. What he has produced are some great big tarantulas and a cadre of mute, seemingly fierce women and several male dwarfs. He invites the reputable Dr. Masterson to aid him in his work, but Masterson refuses, is driven insane, and winds up in an institution. He escapes just in time to kidnap a man and his fiancé, a servant name Wu, and a handler from the mental institution. He commandeers the rich man's plane and forces the pilot to take them up despite a failing left engine. They crash on this big mesa out in the desert, where they eventually get an unwelcome introduction to Dr. Arana and his minions.

I learned more about this movie from reading a two-sentence synopsis than I did actually watching the thing. All of the women are apparently mute, and Arana somehow communicates with them telepathically. The whole notion of spider-women seems to fade away as the movie progresses, being supplanted by the huge tarantula concept. Apparently, though, Arana plans to use his creations to take over the world in some kind of typical mad scientist manner. I couldn't find a single likable character in this movie. We don't even see enough of Arana to understand what he is actually up to, and the other characters are all hopelessly bland.

The only thing interesting about this movie consists of the rumors swirling around its origin. Some people have tried to claim Mesa of Lost Women as a secret Ed Wood movie; these rumors have been put to rest by now, but there is definitely an Ed Wood feel to the story. According to the son of Herbert Tevos, his father made but did not finish a film for Howco Productions called Tarantula, and some time later Howco Production asked Ron Ormond to complete the movie, which he did by adding Dr. Arana, the spider-women, and a few other touches, thus producing Mesa of Lost Women. What is undoubtedly true is that the film is presented in a peculiar fashion. A rather flippant narrator opens and closes the story for us, sometimes actually speaking to one of the characters, and in between we learn the tale told by two exhausted humans picked up in the middle of the desert. The guy telling the story first flashes back to Dr. Masterson's first encounter with Arana, which is something he could not possibly know anything about; only then does he choose to flash back to the events he himself was a witness to. It is amazing to see how a simple story can be made incredibly complex at the hands of bad moviemakers.

Two people are found wandering in the desert. They are brought back to a local clinic where upon recovering from sun stroke the man wants to immediately burn "it." "Burn what?" you say. Well He slows down to tell the tale of a Doctor on a remote mesa that is a little ahead of his time working with you guessed it Lost Women and things best left to nature. We are now in for a 70 minute flash back.

With great actors as Jackie Coogan (you can tell he must be the bad guy with a huge mole on his face), Allan Nixon, Tandra Quinn and Delores Fuller, You know it can not go wrong. Yeah, sure.

The dialog gets a little boring and some of the screen play (by Herbert Tevos) is a little disoriented. I suspect that much was cut out for brevity; so we must make great leaps and assume we just missed something.

There is a great dance scene by Tarantella (Tandra Quinn) that would subdue Captain Kirk had he been there.

Do not worry though we have wonderful background music by Hoyt Curtin that consists of an off key flamingo guitar and a spinet that won't spin; I think they are trying to sound Spanish; you get to hear it during the beginning credits; You get to hear it during the narration (by Lyle Talbot); you get to hear it every time a suspenseful scene appears; You get to hear it every time one does not; you still hear it when the DVD is safely packed away.