Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace [Paperback]

This is one of two excellent new books dedicated to the memory of Heinz Leymann, a Swedish psychologist who died in January 1999, after having spearheaded the greatest advance of the past twenty years in the study of work. The other book, also available from amazon, is entitled Bullyproof Yourself at Work, by Gary Namie and Ruth Namie. The books are alike in honoring Leymann's memory in the best possible way: by extending his research and presenting the results in a way that will be of enormous practical benefit to both employers and employees. Leymann's breakthrough was against the background of current preoccupations on sex, race, religion, sexual orientation, and the other officially recognized bases of unfair treatment in the workplace. Some argue now for expanding the list of shibboleths to include employees' criminal records and political beliefs as illegal grounds on which to exclude or punish them. Leymann managed to get beyond this current way of thinking, with its fixation on real or imagined grounds of ill-treatment, and to focus on the fact of ill-treatment, whatever the apparent ground. The phenomenon he conceptualized and studied was the humiliation and destruction of an employee by the employer. He called this process mobbing or bullying: intense aggression against an individual by managers or co-workers, aimed at crushing the individual utterly and eliminating him or her from the workplace. A month before his death, Leymann wrote the preface to this book, recommending it as "the first book in the U.S. that presents the research of the last two decades on mobbing--also known as bullying--in a comprehensive way." He said it "sheds light on great suffering and proposes ideas to reduce this suffering." Marquette University theologian is even more effusive in a quote shown on the cover: "Until evil is named, it cannot be addressed. This book names mobbing, a common and bloodless form of workplace mayhem, and proceeds with brilliance to show its roots and possible cures." While well-researched, comprehensive, and brilliant, this book is also engaging and easy to read, and enlivened on almost every page by first-person comments from people mobbed at work. Like my own students hearing this material in class, readers of this book will recognize, if not themselves, at least co-workers they have known. The accent of this trio of authors is on practicality. After initial chapters on what mobbing is, why it happens, and what effects it has, Davenport et al. describe strategies of personal resistance and survival. In the last third of the book, their focus is on the organization as a whole, and on legal and policy means of preventing the financial and human costs mobbing inflicts. My own research in this field corroborates what these authors report, that probably the worst of the mobbing experience is a lack of mental categories with which to make sense of it. Often, the target feels as if hit by a ton of bricks. With publication of this book, once it is read, the worst should be over, and the rebuilding of a life can begin. For anybody mobbed at work, this book will be a healing gift.

I strongly recommend this book as a first read on the subject. I recommend Work Abuse: How to Recognize It and Survive It as the second--a longer and more complex read, it goes into more detail and a therapeutic approach.

Anyone who has been the target of mobbing knows that by the time you finally recognize that something's wrong and seek help, your nerves are so frayed and your focus is so shattered, that it's hard to even find the energy to read a book, much less the time.

This book is a great place to start because it's easy to read and understand. It helps you move from feeling powerless to empowerment. It explains the dynamics behind the mobbing syndrome and that it is very rarely (if ever) the target's fault. Regardless, there is absolutely no justification for any kind of abuse in the workplace.

The authors detail what mobbing is, why it persists, how organizational structures contribute, how it affects you, and how to cope. It also describes how family and friends are affected. The final section details how it impacts the organization, conflict resolution, the law, and the final chapter lists resources one can turn to or help.

Although this book is designed for an American audience and the legal information is based in the U.S., most of it is just as relevant to Canada.

It really helps put things into perspective. Contrary to what most targets and their abusers think, those who mob are coming from a place of weakness and fear. Cowards and bullies move in packs; they need the others to feel safe, intimidate their prey, and corroborate their stories (the truth doesn't need to be corroborated--it is fact and truthful people can state fact without first comparing their versions of events with others).

If you are a target and stand up for yourself and your truth, you are coming from a place of strength, courage, and intelligence. If they weren't desperately afraid of you, there wouldn't be so many of them trying to bring you down.

If you are a target, they selected you to do this to out of insecurity and jealousy. They know that you are capable and competent, but will belittle and lie about your past achievements, making your mistakes appear as if they vastly outnumber your successes by exaggerating them. They will deny evidence of your abilities and slander you to others (e.g. your union rep, higher management, etc). They see you as a threat to their image (i.e. hard-working people are chosen as targets because others don't want to raise their own standard of work and envy the recognition you receive for it) and their intense need to control others. No matter what they say to sully your reputation and damage your career, you are the better person and you do not deserve this.

This is about who they are, not who you are. They aren't focused on solutions, only assigning blame which is a very time-consuming, counter-productive, no-win strategy for everyone.

Just calmly and quietly stand your ground, be true to yourself, and have faith. Don't put yourself down if you make mistakes along the way--you're only human and this isn't an easy situation to deal with. Forgive and be kind to yourself.

People's true intentions ultimately reveal themselves and this will be their undoing. Remember: The worst thing anyone says about me contains some truth--about them.

Yes, it's scary to be in the expulsion phase--I'm there right now. However, if you give up and back down, sacrificing your self-respect and self worth, you lose everything that genuinely matters.

Ultimately, you may lose your livelihood for a time, but if you still have what matters most--yourself--intact at the end, you can look yourself in the mirror knowing you did your best and you still have something to build on.

They think it's about power, money, assets, reputation, and status. But what really counts is our values and character; that which makes us who we are. As long as you protect that, you will get through this no matter how tough it gets. It won't be easy and there will be many despairing moments, but you will get through, even if you have to fight it alone.

Nonetheless, I strongly recommend that you seek professional help from a counsellor or therapist--you will need to talk about what's happening--a LOT! This is a grieving process on many levels and well-meaning as they may be, people who haven't been through it don't understand it. It can quickly wear on your family and friends and damage your relationships with them. A good professional is more objective and won't judge you (if you run into one who does, find another--trust me).

Excellent compliments to this book are: Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier; Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss and James Masterson; The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin and Lidija Rangelovska (Editor); Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender; Bully in Sight: How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullies by Tim Field.

And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment; Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.