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Mom's House, Dad's House [Paperback]

Isolina Ricci Ph.D.
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 19.99
Price: CDN$ 14.43 & FREE Shipping on orders over CDN$ 25. Details
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Book Description

Nov. 18 1997
Now revised, updated, and expanded, this groundbreaking guide for parents and professionals covers the legal, financial, and emotional realities of creating two happy and stable homes for children in the aftermath of a divorce, including custody arrangements, mediation, and more.

Can children flourish in any custody situation? If their parents read Mom’s House, Dad’s House, the answer is a resounding yes. This unique ground-breaking classic, which has become the standard for two generations of parents, is again breaking new ground with examples, self-tests, checklists, and guidelines. This comprehensive guide looks anew at the needs of all concerned with even more creative options and commonsense advice, including:

· The map to a “decent divorce” and two happy homes; healing yourself and your children; the New Family Bill of Rights after separation.

· Helping your children with age-specific advice; explaining change, giving them continuity and security; restabilizing their sense of home and family; danger signals; five ways to evaluate your children’s time.

· Negotiating Parental Agreements; legal do’s and don’ts; time arrangements; custody types; attorneys; how to get ready for negotiations; when to use mediation; using “HIRT” test when an agreement is broken.

· Breaking away from “negative intimacy” with a difficult ex; how to talk to your former mate; steps to building a “businesslike” relationship as parents; how to avoid becoming the neighborhood “soap opera”

· Sidestepping destructive myths; making the emotions, “flashbacks,” and heartbreak of separation or divorce work for you and your child.

· Handling long-distance parenting; managing the return of an absent parent, holidays, remarriage, life without another parent

Frequently Bought Together

Mom's House, Dad's House + Mom's House, Dad's House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two + Two Homes
Price For All Three: CDN$ 35.02

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Product Description

From Amazon

According to the Stepfamily Association of America, 60 percent of all families are breaking up, and custody and visitation issues loom large in the lives of many parents. Isolina Ricci's Mom's House, Dad's House guides separated, divorced, and remarried parents through the hassles and confusions of setting up a strong, working relationship with the ex-spouse in order to make two loving homes for the kids. This expanded and revised edition (the book was originally published in 1980) includes emotional and legal tools, as well as many reference materials and resources. As one parent said of the first edition, "This book is my friend."

About the Author

Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., whose breakthrough work resulted in Mom's House, Dad's House, is an internationally renowned family expert, lecturer, award-winning mediator, and licensed family therapist who divides her time between consulting for family courts and working directly with families. She is the Director of the New Family Center in northern California.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
"WHERE do you live?" the middle-aged businessman asked the nine-year-old girl sitting next to him on the plane. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Every parent should read June 25 2004
By A Customer
This is an excellent book that every parent should read. The book teaches you that divorce is like death and there are steps which must be taken in order to get through the process properly. I even gave a copy to my husband's ex-wife for Christmas.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Nice book. Nov. 5 2003
By A Customer
I just needed something that reaches some broader topics. I have referred it to people who weren't facing all the problems I was. This is a nice book.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Good ideas, but I'll continue to research more... Oct. 28 2003
I bought this book in the midst of a custody case for my husband's daughter. The description of the book, chapter titles, etc., made it sound like exactly the information I was looking for to help us through a very rough time and give us some ideas on how to improve communication and ease tension.
However, I finished this book feeling a little let down and confused. As another reviewer pointed out, if the people in the book were able to work so well together while getting divorced, why did they not attempt to remain together and seek counseling/structure for their marriage? The ultimate dream of any small child with divorcing parents is for them to remain together.
Also, it seemed like 90% of the examples of families/home structures in this book had the children living with their mother, and the father as the non-custodial parent. Although my husband did not ultimately get custody of his daughter, he is a wonderful father, and we know many dads who have physical custody. A few more examples of kids living primarily with their father would have been nice. As a parent, I can definitely say that I don't believe a mother loves a child any more than a father does. There is a special bond for a woman and her children to be sure, but there is just as special and loving bond between father and child.
While the real-life examples conveyed the anger and frustration of divorce, there wasn't much about custody cases. This was a topic that was supposed to be covered in this book, and it was only lightly touched upon. Dr. Ricci would have done more of a service to the readers of the book if she had touched on any and all scenarios of divorce/custody/visitation.
I believe there is always room to grow as a person and as a family. This is not a bad resource, but check it out from the library rather than buy it, and look into other materials as I am.
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By A Customer
Mom's House, Dad's House is an island of rational ideas and support in a sea of self help books. Dr. Ricci presents concepts and advice that supported us in re-building our relationship while going through a divorce with three children. Almost every issue we struggled with (and we did struggle) was covered in the book. Her input regarding 'emotional' divorce paved the way to our new and very constructive 'business' relationship. We are now actually communicating better that when married. The children are the true beneficiaries of our using this book.
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5.0 out of 5 stars My Handbook June 16 2003
By A Customer
I think this is an extraordinarily valuable book. This was my guide through a very painful process, perhaps the single most difficult thing I've ever experienced.
I think the book correctly takes the high road, and focuses on the right things. This book won't heal your hurts, it's not supposed to do that. It can help you get on with life. And, my circumstances were very, very painful - involving addiction, infidelity and deceit. I chose to be an adult, and keep my kids out of the process. Thanks to this book, I was able to avoid a lot of the "battling tops" games that typically arise in these situations. I got down to business, put my emotions in check, and got it done. And, I'm a MUCH happier person today.
And, the proof is in the pudding: my kids about got STRAIGHT A's, DURING the divorce process. Their lives continued, while Mom and Dad figured it out, as adults, away from them. That's how it should be, they're the innocent victims. There were no games, no using the kids, no yelling. My ex and I crafted a very unique parenting plan, that was applauded by our attorneys AND the Judge.
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1.0 out of 5 stars Outdated Information May 12 2003
By A Customer
I can see from the dates on the 5 Star reviews that this book was more valuable in the 70's. The attitudes in our society and the legal arena have moved way past this book.
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2.0 out of 5 stars Just doesn't cut it. Jan. 5 2003
By A Customer
1997 information just doesn't cut it for 2003. This is a nice book for a nice person, dealing with a nice person. That's not what I am facing. I found "Fathers' Rights: Hard-Hitting & Fair Advice for Every Father Involved in a Custody Dispute by Jeffery M. Leving" a better book for me because I face a woman in court. I also bought "Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help SourceBook by Charlette Hardwick" by far the best book if you are in the same hell as I am. I am in this for the long run. I love my kids and they need me in their lives and I need them in my life no matter what their mother thinks. I am a good man and a great dad. I will win and I will be the best custodial dad and co-parent on this planet.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Usefulness Depends on Your Situation May 20 2002
By A Customer
I am going through a divorce that is a little sticky but not horrible. We have one child, and I looked to this book to help me and my wife devise a great dual-home for our child. I actually found the book did not help me at all because the perspective is from a much harsher divorce. So, if you are in the middle of a slightly ugly divorce, this might be helpful, but otherwise, I'm not sure. Let's put it this way--the title makes it sound like a slam-dunk, but unless your situation is just like the one(s) presented, you may find it just a waste of money. I'm looking for another book on single-fatherhood and saw this title, and thought I should write this note so that lots more people don't have the same experience. Good luck.
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