Mom's House, Dad's House Paperback – Nov 18 1997
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According to the Stepfamily Association of America, 60 percent of all families are breaking up, and custody and visitation issues loom large in the lives of many parents. Isolina Ricci's Mom's House, Dad's House guides separated, divorced, and remarried parents through the hassles and confusions of setting up a strong, working relationship with the ex-spouse in order to make two loving homes for the kids. This expanded and revised edition (the book was originally published in 1980) includes emotional and legal tools, as well as many reference materials and resources. As one parent said of the first edition, "This book is my friend."
About the Author
Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., whose breakthrough work resulted in Mom's House, Dad's House, is an internationally renowned family expert, lecturer, award-winning mediator, and licensed family therapist who divides her time between consulting for family courts and working directly with families. She is the Director of the New Family Center in northern California.
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Top Customer Reviews
However, I finished this book feeling a little let down and confused. As another reviewer pointed out, if the people in the book were able to work so well together while getting divorced, why did they not attempt to remain together and seek counseling/structure for their marriage? The ultimate dream of any small child with divorcing parents is for them to remain together.
Also, it seemed like 90% of the examples of families/home structures in this book had the children living with their mother, and the father as the non-custodial parent. Although my husband did not ultimately get custody of his daughter, he is a wonderful father, and we know many dads who have physical custody. A few more examples of kids living primarily with their father would have been nice. As a parent, I can definitely say that I don't believe a mother loves a child any more than a father does. There is a special bond for a woman and her children to be sure, but there is just as special and loving bond between father and child.
While the real-life examples conveyed the anger and frustration of divorce, there wasn't much about custody cases. This was a topic that was supposed to be covered in this book, and it was only lightly touched upon. Dr. Ricci would have done more of a service to the readers of the book if she had touched on any and all scenarios of divorce/custody/visitation.
I believe there is always room to grow as a person and as a family. This is not a bad resource, but check it out from the library rather than buy it, and look into other materials as I am.
I think the book correctly takes the high road, and focuses on the right things. This book won't heal your hurts, it's not supposed to do that. It can help you get on with life. And, my circumstances were very, very painful - involving addiction, infidelity and deceit. I chose to be an adult, and keep my kids out of the process. Thanks to this book, I was able to avoid a lot of the "battling tops" games that typically arise in these situations. I got down to business, put my emotions in check, and got it done. And, I'm a MUCH happier person today.
And, the proof is in the pudding: my kids about got STRAIGHT A's, DURING the divorce process. Their lives continued, while Mom and Dad figured it out, as adults, away from them. That's how it should be, they're the innocent victims. There were no games, no using the kids, no yelling. My ex and I crafted a very unique parenting plan, that was applauded by our attorneys AND the Judge.
This book fails to address issues of selfish parents and what to do with an ex spouse who is bitter and angry and consistently uses the child(ren) as a weapon(s). The book tends to villainize parents with primary custody, making them sound like selfish control freaks who only have their own interests at heart and not their child's. In most cases that I have seen, this is far from the truth and joint custody isn't nearly as rosy as Ricci claims it can be.
If you can pull it off, I give you lots of credit. But very few divorced parents that I know can do this successfully.
I cannot emphasize how inspirational this book has been for me!!Read more ›
Most recent customer reviews
This is an excellent book that every parent should read. The book teaches you that divorce is like death and there are steps which must be taken in order to get through the... Read morePublished on June 25 2004
I just needed something that reaches some broader topics. I have referred it to people who weren't facing all the problems I was. This is a nice book.Published on Nov. 5 2003
Mom's House, Dad's House is an island of rational ideas and support in a sea of self help books. Dr. Read morePublished on July 15 2003
I can see from the dates on the 5 Star reviews that this book was more valuable in the 70's. The attitudes in our society and the legal arena have moved way past this book.Published on May 12 2003
Mom's House, Dad's House by Isolina Ricci: I did not find this book remotely helpful and, by contrast, found it did a diservice to the process in which I was engaged when my ex... Read morePublished on May 8 2003
1997 information just doesn't cut it for 2003. This is a nice book for a nice person, dealing with a nice person. That's not what I am facing. Read morePublished on Jan. 5 2003
I don't care if this was supposedly "Revised and expanded" it's still something that does not have enough relevant information for our time in the 21st century. Read morePublished on Aug. 2 2002 by Richard Schwalbe
This book must have been written in a vacuum. Things are just not this simple as this book makes it look. Don't waste your money on this book. There are much better on the market. Read morePublished on June 8 2002
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