Mulholland Drive

The chronological timeline of the story is not that hard to figure out:
(01.) First, Diane wins the jitterbug competition in Canada, where she's crowned and cheered for by two old people (her parents). This is some time before any other scenes in the movie.
(02.) Camilla and her director/lover Adam Kesher kiss in the car, making Diane witness the scene.
(03.) Camilla and Diane are on the couch. Camilla says they should break up and Diane puts the pieces of what she's seen together and asks, "It's him, isn't it?"
(04.) Camilla calls Diane in an attempt to reconcile with her and tells her to get into the car that's come for her. Diane comes to Adam's party where he announces his engagement to Camilla.
(05.) Diane talks to the hitman at Winkie's and he agrees to murder Camilla.
(06.) Diane returns home, overcome with guilt and frustration, and falls asleep on her untidy bed.
(07.) She has a long dream (the first two hours of the movie). The prime thing to notice here is Diane's selfish wish-fulfillment- she has her lover back with her, tender and loving, and amnesiac to boot, allowing Diane/Betty to do what she pleases with her. Diane gets her revenge by humiliating Adam in her dream- he's deceived by his wife, knocked over by her lover, stepped on by both of them, etc, etc. The last hallucination Diane has is of the Cowboy who appears in her bedroom to wake her up.
(08.) Diane's neighbor/ex-lover wakes her up. She's come for the ashtray and the rest of her "stuff." Diane sees the blue key shown to her by the hitman lying on the coffee-table, indicating that Camilla is dead. She learns that two detectives have been asking about her.
(09.) Diane stands next to her coffee-maker and has a brief vision of Camilla, conjured up by her guilty conscience.
(10.) Diane is sitting on the couch and staring at the blue key. She is completely consumed by self-mortification now. She sees two tiny figures of her parents (representing both her unconscious fear of them and her inner guilty Self, as opposed to the selfish Ego) that seem to become real and dangerous, attacking their daughter with tearing fingers and crude laughter. Diane runs into her bedroom and shoots herself in the mouth.

END OF STORY. Is that so hard to figure out? Please... As much as I respect what other people have to say, I still don't think that saying "This movie is one of the worst films ever, because I didn't understand any of it" is a good reason to revile such a great film. And as far as criticizing David Lynch goes, I have only one thing to say: Any filmmaker who happens to stir the public opinion, and to lay foundation for so many conflicting views (two years after the film's release!) and to cause our fellow-moviegoers to write 770+ reviews on the subject of whether or not the film is a work of art or a piece of junk, is, I think, a genius without peer.