Auto boutiques-francophones Simple and secure cloud storage giftguide Cyber Monday Deals Week in Home & Kitchen Kindle Music Deals Store SGG Countdown to Cyber Monday in Lawn & Garden
Start reading My Horizontal Life on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.
This title is not currently available for purchase
Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for

My Horizontal Life [Kindle Edition]

Chelsea Handler
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)

Pricing information not available.

Free Kindle Reading App Anybody can read Kindle books even without a Kindle device with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets, and computers.

To get the free app, enter your e-mail address or mobile phone number.

Product Description

Product Description

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Product Details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 463 KB
  • Print Length: 213 pages
  • Publisher: Bloomsbury USA (Sept. 6 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B002UM5BIM
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #268,571 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So much fun! Jan. 23 2010
This book is pretty funny. I actually laughed out loud at least once per chapter. I didn't expect much from it and only started reading it out of boredom. The book is broken up into smaller stories (each chapter is a short story) which makes it easier to read if you only have small amounts of time to read - but you likely won't want to put it down as the stories are very amusing. I actually like this so much that I am interested in reading Chelsea Handler's other book, "Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea" - a book that I have seen the cover of many times and had assumed it would most definitely be very unfunny (I guess that's why they say, "Never judge a book by its cover"). If you like rude, crude, and embarrassing tales of promiscuity, you'll enjoy this read.
Was this review helpful to you?
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Chelsea Handler, You Are Too Funny. June 6 2013
By Leah-S
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I first heard about Chelsea Handler when I started watching “Chelsea Lately” when it first aired, I immediately fell in love with her sense of humor & delivery, she’s hilarious!

The Book: It is truly laugh-out-loud funny, I was reading it at an office job on my lunch breaks & I would be laughing so hard in the break room, this girl leaves nothing to the imagination & is a true comic.

If you haven’t watched her show, watch it, & if you haven’t read her books, read them! This & “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.” Are by far my favorites, unfortunately, her most recent ones, not so much.
Was this review helpful to you?
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing Book. So Funny! May 27 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I read this in 24 hours! Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman ever! Her life stories are unbelievable!
DEFINITELY recommend this book!
Was this review helpful to you?
Report abuse
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars SIMPLY FABULOUS! Oct. 16 2005
By A Customer
Everyone should buy a copy of this hilarious memoir. Whether it be for yourself or a stocking stuffer, there's bound to be a few people in the family who will enjoy this book.
It's impossible not to laugh out loud during many of the chapters. Some definite highlights include the "nugget" chapter, the "Halloween party on Valentine's Day", and "High School reunion revenge" chapters...just to name a few. The witty comments exchanged between the characters are bound to have you in stitches. All chapters detail a relationship or a one-night stand, and believe me, it's a page-turner, impossible to put down.
It's a good summer read, nothing to take seriously. It won't win any Nobel Prizes anytime soon, but that's why I loved it. I hope there's a follow-up to this memoir.
Was this review helpful to you?
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Offensive... July 14 2010
I love to laugh and enjoy guilty pleasures such as Legally Blonde...but this was plain ignorant and offensive. Sorry...not recommended.
Was this review helpful to you?
Report abuse
4.0 out of 5 stars Very entertaining. Jan. 31 2010
By Lolla
I had never heard of Chelsea Handler before, but this book sounded interesting. I was looking for some light reading and I was not expecting much more than that from this book. However, it was great, very funny. I didn't want to put it down. The book kept me intrigued and wanting more. I can't wait to read more from Chelsea Handler, and I would recommend this to any of my friends who are looking for some fun chick lit.
Was this review helpful to you?
Report abuse
3.0 out of 5 stars Funny June 16 2011
By Fia
I love Chelsea Handler. She always makes me laugh on tv. I found this book really funny. But when it reached about half way through, I was a little tired of reading about HOW MUCH sex she actually had with so many men! lol There were so many stories it got a little boring after a while. But still a good and EASY read ;) lol
Was this review helpful to you?
Report abuse
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing May 17 2009
I usually love Chelsea Handler's comedy, but this book is just tasteless and trashy. She depicts herself as a very sleazy, promiscuous character, who will sleep with anyone and drink to the point of oblivion. Really bad attempt at humor, cliches, bad, bad, bad.
Was this review helpful to you?
Report abuse
Want to see more reviews on this item?
Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Published 14 months ago by Penny Atkinson
5.0 out of 5 stars What a great summer read
Chelsea Handler is hilarious. What a great summer read.
Published 14 months ago by Ashley Pharazyn
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
very funny, loved it
Published 15 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
I love Chelsea Handler, this book is hilarious! Warning: do not read in public or people will give you funny looks!
Published 17 months ago by melanie
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious!
If you can stand the raunchy humor, it is a fun and light read. A book I would read again and again just to take my mind off of daily stresses.
Published 22 months ago by Tobi Lysyk
5.0 out of 5 stars My Horizontal Life
My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler.
Another great read! lots of laughs and I also shared with friends, who loved it too!
Published on April 28 2013 by Dorinda Nightingale
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
Chelsea Handler tells it like it is and it definitely made me LOL. Reading this book for book club and there will be lots to talk about!
Published on April 6 2012 by jaimejm
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny as hell
I was realy suprised with this book, I laughed out loud many times, great read... Now i want to read her other books
Published on Aug. 30 2011 by Michelle Tremblay
5.0 out of 5 stars Chelsea being Chelsea
This book is hilarious!
The more I read, the more I liked it. Each chapter has a unique twist. If you like Chelsea, you will definitely enjoy this read.
Published on June 28 2011 by Eehyo
5.0 out of 5 stars I read this horizontally
I read this, in bed for three hours and laughed so hard the bed was shaking constantly! The people downstairs must have thought I was having a very, very, very good time doing... Read more
Published on April 17 2011 by Taryn
Search Customer Reviews

Look for similar items by category