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My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life With a Crossdresser
 
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My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life With a Crossdresser [Paperback]

Helen Boyd (Author)
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
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My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life With a Crossdresser + She's Not the Man I Married: My Life With a Transgender Husband + Alice in Genderland: A Crossdresser Comes of Age
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  • Alice in Genderland: A Crossdresser Comes of Age by Richard J. Novic M. D. Paperback CDN$ 20.34

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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

A straight woman who has been married several years to a crossdressing man gives a thoughtful account of their relationship (as well as the relationships of other crossdressers she knows) in this forthright and revelatory book. "Instead of putting a 'pretty face' on crossdressing," Boyd writes, "I think this book paints a more realistic picture." Her interest is as much in the broader issues of love and acceptance, denial and repression, human nature and sexual identity as it is in the who, when, why and how of crossdressing. Boyd shares personal and often intensely private moments in order to illustrate her findings, describing her husband's ritual for getting dressed as a woman and candidly admitting that she once believed that she would never be able to accept his behavior. Particularly sharp is her chapter on gendered politics, which takes to task members of the crossdressing community who isolate themselves "from all the groups who could otherwise educate and liberate them: the feminist community, the gay and lesbian communities." Though such comments may be uncharacteristically harsh for a book that by and large supports crossdressers and their actions, Boyd's opinions lend her discussion a critical viewpoint and comprehensiveness that it might not have had otherwise. Boyd, who founded the online support group CDOD, helps out newbies to the topic by making distinctions among phrases like "transgendered" and "transvestite" that are sometimes unknowingly used interchangeably and by summarizing the history of and research into the behavior. Honest and well researched, this book is likely to become an indispensable guide for woman who are trying to forge stable, accepting relationships with crossdressing men. Given the topic and Boyd's approach, it is a shame that the author still felt the need to mask her true identity by using a nom de plume.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Boyd never expected to write about transvestites and their partners, yet here is her fascinating account of marriage to a cross-dresser, the intent of which is to reduce the tumult his cross-dressing causes in the couple's lives and to help more women deal better with having transgendered husbands. The originator of an online support group for such couples, Boyd supplements her own experiences with those of others to explore the diversity within a stereotyped group (the male-to-female transgendered) and answer questions concerning their behavior. Boyd was supportive from the onset of her knowledge of "Betty," but even after two years' socializing within a supportive transgender community, the Boyds' first outing in the real world terrified her because of her own and society's expectations--and that was the first of a series of painful realizations. Boyd's skill as a writer enables readers to enter a relatively hidden existence easily, and perhaps even to appreciate its complexities. Her account, though initially disquieting to some, well may become a standard text in gender studies. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
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Customer Reviews

8 Reviews
5 star:
 (6)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:    (0)
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Average Customer Review
4.8 out of 5 stars (8 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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5.0 out of 5 stars Where was this book when I needed it?, Nov 15 2005
By 
Samantha A. Perrin (Ottawa, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life With a Crossdresser (Paperback)
Where was this book when I really needed it, those many years ago? Without a doubt, this is the best book I have read on the subject of the relationship between the transgendered man and his wife or partner. Written by the wife of a crossdresser, it is an eye-opener to say the least. I though I had a pretty good idea of what my wife of forty-five years is going through with respect to my crossdressing and my transgender nature. After all, we have known each other for almost half a century! Helen Boyd really “tells it like it is,” and it was an education for me!

With a Preface, an Introduction and eight chapters, Helen opens the male-to-female crossdresser’s eyes to the realities facing his partner, whether married or not. Throughout she quotes from, and makes reference to, many of the crossdressers and the partners she interviewed in her research for the book.

Chapter One, entitled “Crossdressed Lives”, delineates the who’s of crossdressing and why the book was written. Here you will find a relatively detailed description of the life of the crossdresser from his teens though to his late fifties. Also in this chapter Helen attempts to identify and define the myriad of classifications one might encounter in researching the transgender world.

In Chapter Two, the author explains who they are, why they do it, and why they can’t stop.

Chapters Three and Four detail the experiences of partners of crossdressers; who they are, why they stay, how they deal with it, and how they make things work out for the couple.

Chapter Five details the fears expressed by almost every partner of a crossdresser, from “is he gay” to “does he want to change sex?” Entitled “Slippery Slope!” this section will surely give the crossdresser and his partner pause for second thought.

Chapters Six and Seven deal with the sexual aspects of crossdressed lives. The various aspects of sex which cross all lives, trangender or not, are dealt with in a matter-of-fact way guaranteed not to upset the most delicate reader.

Chapter Eight, “Gendered Politics,” starts off, “If one more crossdresser complains to me about how unfair it is that crossdressers can’t wear what they want and tells me I don’t understand because I can wear whatever I want, my head might explode. First off, women can’t wear what they want. If a woman dresses too provocatively she’s assumed to be a whore; if she’s not sexy or feminine enough she’s a man hating lesbian.” Powerful words in a powerful chapter; one which the crossdresser needs to read carefully and thoroughly.

Of all the books I have read on the subject of crossdressing, this one sits so far above the rest that it has become the one book I now recommend to all couples dealing with crossdressed lives. Not only will it be of great help to the partner who is confronted with crossdressing, it also serves as a wake up call for the crossdresser himself. I simply cannot find the words to give this book the praise it deserve.

Thank you, Helen Boyd!

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5.0 out of 5 stars Informative, Jan 9 2005
By A Customer
This review is from: My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life With a Crossdresser (Paperback)
As a long time heterosexual crossdresser I found this book very informative. I gained a better understanding of the crossdresser community. A good read for both crossdressers, their SO,friends and family this misunderstood kink. Good introduction to topic of crossdressing for the general public as well
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5.0 out of 5 stars remarkable and honest, May 29 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life With a Crossdresser (Paperback)
This is an honest and intense account of what it is like to be married to a crossdresser. Helen Boyd's acceptance and openness, while at the same time acknowledging her own feelings of trepidation concerning some aspects of this new life, is remarkable and admirable. There are no cross-dressers in my life, (that I am aware of) and I still found this book to be very worthwhile for the honest approach and thorough investigation of the subject.
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