My Worst/Best Sleepover Party  [Paperback]

There were four of us in Grade 4, neighbourhood pals who walked to school together, had sleepovers and rode our bikes to the park. Blissful memories linger of sharing Lik-m-aid, knock-knock jokes and ball against the wall. But it wasn't all sugar and spice.

Every few days, it was someone's turn to be the outcast. The one the other girls "forgot" to stop for on the way to school, snubbed at recess and, for no apparent reason, decided to ignore.

It was agony when you were the target. Bad enough you'd do almost anything - even join the mean side - to avoid it.

Power struggles among young girls have long been a subject of fascination and concern, memorably explored by Margaret Atwood in her 1988 novel Cat's Eye, and poignantly wrought in Eleanor Estes' 1944 children's classic, The Hundred Dresses.

Now, two Toronto sisters have given the subtle, insidious realm of girl bullying a modern twist in My Worst Best Sleepover Party, a new book aimed at kids in Grade 2 and up.

The protagonist is Rose, who loves make-your-own pizzas, pink nail polish and inventing silly games at recess. She's beside herself with excitement over planning her birthday sleepover party. Until the two most popular girls in school announce they're not coming. At least, not unless Rose uninvites her best friend Stacey.

If you have a little girl, or have ever been one, prepare for pangs of recognition. Authors Anna Morgan and Rachael Turkienicz look at the manipulation, exclusion, ultimatums, and mockery that are weapons of choice in girls' power games. And they portray the guilt and helplessness of the bystander caught in the crossfire.

While bullying has been a frontline topic lately, most of the attention and resources focus on victims and perpetrators. Turkienicz and Morgan wanted to address the gap.

"There didn't seem to be much for the kids who are caught in the middle who are the vast majority. And yet those are the ones with the most complex decisions to make," says Turkienicz, a professor in York University's Faculty of Education, and mother of five.

The book touches on all the key issues in a way that will keep kids (including boys) and grown-ups interested: There's the allure of the popular girls, who are so funny and crazy when they're not being mean. Rose's tortured attempts to guess what might be provoking them and fix it. The astonishing way that well-intentioned adults can make everything worse. And the cold, hard fact that while Rose is neither aggressor nor victim, her role as innocent bystander is in many ways the most difficult and important.

The 120-page paperback doesn't sugarcoat the issue. When Rose decides to do what she knows is right, things get worse before they get better. There's no happily- ever-after ending, either.

But the authors illuminate a pathway out of the situation that Rose can navigate - as long as she has the support of her mom and some of the friends and adults around her.

And the sleepover? In Rose's words, it was the party "where I only turned one year older but I felt like I really grew up."

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