NEW Foley/hindle/maillet - Monster Brawl (Blu-ray)

This movie is straight up garbage from the get go. I thought the idea of monsters battling WWE style would be pretty damn entertaining and although there are plenty reviewers out there warning people not to watch this, i still gave it a try. Normally i give movies a full chance if i feel they have potential but i got out of this one early and i dont regret it. The monster make it up is pretty terrible for a movie that looks like it had a decent enough budget to do something better. I'm talking mainly about the cyclops characters whose one and only eye never moves and you can see the slits where the actor looks through the mask. If this was done intentionally for laughs then im sure it would have been more obvious but it seems they tryed to go for subtly and failed. When you go into a movie for the monster effects and they fail with the first monster then its probably not worth continuing. You know there are some decent reviews out there for this movie so maybe its worth a second look but i doubt ill waist my time trying. PS. there is no storyline to this movie so i think the only people who will get a kick out of it are big time wrestling fans.

Terrible makeup, brutal script, horrible acting... this movie is genuinely boring. I purchased this movie after reading some positive reviews online, but was VERY disappointed. I love cheesy horror as much as the next guy, but not when it's an attempt at cheese that falls flat on its face only because it was executed so poorly. The announcers are so slow they put me half to sleep, and the actual wrestling wasn't even slightly redeeming. They all move slowly around the ring with uninteresting moves and no acrobatics. I enjoyed some of the sets, but that was about all. Its too bad, really, I went into this movie expecting to find it at least mildly entertaining. I'm a horror and fight fan, so I really should have loved this one because the movie was made for people like me. I had a really hard time watching until the end.

It doesn't get any cheesier than this: a wrestling pay-per-view featuring eight of the world's most terrifying (albeit generic) monsters: Frankenstein, The Mummy, Lady Vampire, the Werewolf, Swamp Gut, Cyclops, Zombie Man, and, of course, Witch Bitch. There's no Michael Booker asking fans "Are You Ready to Rumbleeeeee?" but that's just as well since there aren't any fans there. The monsters are sort of shy around crowds, and the last thing promoters want is for some fans to get their arms torn off, so the ring is set up in a creepy old graveyard - a cursed, creepy old graveyard - in Michigan. But hey, Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart is there, and Kevin Nash joins in the fun as Colonel Crookshanks, the man who's been secretly training Zombie Man for the past decade. Providing the funniest play-by-play since Celebrity Deathmatch are Sasquatch Sid Tucker (Art Hindle) and Buzz Chambers (Dave Foley). Is it stupid? Of course, it's stupid - but what glorious stupidity.

These are death matches, folks. Two monsters step in the ring, and only one leaves alive. The only rule is that there are no rules. You just know all of those tombstones around the ring are going to be put to good use. I don't know why the two middle-weight winners don't wrestle for a championship but, let's face it, we're all really here to crown a heavyweight champ. That's right, the winners of Werewolf vs. Swamp Gut and Frankenstein vs. Zombie Man must return to battle it out for the Monster Brawl Heavyweight Championship. And what a glorious fight it is, with both men - ahem - monsters showing remarkable resilience and unbelievable heart in a monster fight for the ages.

If you think monsters can't wrestle, think again. You'll see a number of actual wrestling moves, including the Figure Four (my favorite, despite the fact that my neighbor used to use that on me every time we wrestled as kids), the Sleeper, multiple clotheslines, and all kinds of good stuff. If you love monsters and wrestling, you're going to love Monster Brawl.