NEW Momoa/nichols/lang - Conan The Barbarian (2011) 3d (Blu-ray)

The following review is based on the 2D version.

VIDEO:

Conan The Barbarian (2011) arrives at blu ray with MPEG AVC 1080p 2.40:1 encode. Conan the Barbarian may not have a lot to offer in terms of plot, character or fun, but from a purely visual standpoint, it's an amazing looking film, with a fantastic transfer. The video comes with razor-sharp clarity in most every scene, particularly in bright daylight exteriors where clothing and hair is distinct. Facial complexions, especially in close-ups, are revealing with lifelike texture and natural skin tones. It is full of vivid, gory excitement and tons of blood-soaked eye candy. Colours pop really well, and of course the crimson reds of the copious blood look fantastically robust and well saturated. Fine detail is excellent throughout. (4.5/5)

AUDIO:

Conan the Barbarian's lossless DTS-HD Master Audio 7.1 mix is pure sonic delight. It starts right off the bat with the Lionsgate logo, which has chunky mechanical noises and a few squeaks and creaks populating the surrounds, seemingly more so than usual. That's just the tip of the sonic iceberg, for once the film starts, there is a virtual nonstop array of fantastic effects zinging through the soundfield. (5/5)

MOVIE STORYLINE:

A quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil. Movie (3.5/5)

TRIVIA & GOOFS:

It has an estimated budget of $70 million, but only grossed $20 million. A definite flop as far as box office return is concerned.

During the chase scene when Tamara flees the temple, Conan's sword repeatedly disappears and reappears in between shots as he pursues Remo.

During the chase scene; just after Tamara disconnects the coach that she was riding in from the horses that she is now riding, you see the coach tip forward, roll and shatter apart. In the next shot the coach is whole again and lands on the front and shatters for a second time.

During the fight on the ship, it starts of being night, but ends being with the sun out.

FINAL THOUGHT:

This blu ray release arrives in spectacular fashion with splendid video and reference audio. The storyline is very hollow. I bought the 3D/2D version with DVD and digital copy for only $9.99, a definite offer that I cannot refuse. The 3D version was apparently a post-production job like Clash of the Titans ' uninspiring. However, the price is definitely right, and the video, and especially the audio transfer, are top-notched. For this price, I would highly recommended it.

I hope the above review is helpful to you.

If you like the Arnold movies... (they broke my heart) this will be quite different, this is much more bloody and without the cheesy humour and sidekicks some people must have loved (and I hated, Conan wasn't funny and didn't have a goofy Asian wizard pals). But if you've actually read Robert E. Howard's (1906-1936) Conan stories, it's a whole lot closer then Arnold's stumbling fool. It's odd, the quote people made fun of "I live, I love, I slay -- I am content"... is actually right out of the books.
I think the fault of this movie was trying to incorporate some of the Arnold Schwarzenegger films story line into it. The whole vengeance on the people who killed his family has nothing to do with Robert E. Howard's Conan, the same with the riddle of steel stuff. Also, why is he in a dress? And what's with the obviously silly swords, (two blades?) while not as bad as the helmet worn by Mickey Rourke in The Immortals, or Russell Crowe's chrome job in Gladiator... it's obvious the designers wanted something new and cool, but stood out as "simply wrong". To me anyways.
Either way, I enjoyed it and would gladly watch a few more sequels, specially if they're closer to the books. When the books are that good, you don't have to stray from them.

The Conan movie franchise is one that should be approached with a high degree of caution and foreknowledge prior to execution. Director Marcus Nispel failed to take this into account when he began work on the remake of the classic 1982 Schwarzenegger vehicle of the same name. The result is a hodgepodge of contemporary action clichés, tired special effects and a completely lackluster story.

Jason Momoa steps into Conan's shoes in one of the biggest miscasts of the last decade. His role as Khal Drago on HBO's 'Game of Thrones' suits him far better, ironically. Instead, Momoa is primped, preened, eyelined and waxed to perfection in an obvious and blatant attempt at attracting a hyper-excited female demographic. He possesses neither Conan's bulk nor weathered body, something Schwarzenegger managed to pull off with complete ease. Momoa's aggressive overacting (complete with Machiavellian grin n' growl) is extremely tiresome and makes the character wildly unpredictable and overly reckless, which is opposite of the traditional Conan's balance between throw-down and cool strategist. The movie does attract high grade actors, however. Stephen Lang continues to shine in another villainous role which he seemed born to play, and Ron Perlman's presence is a welcome addition to the cast as Conan's father, but Rachel Nichols is absolutely horrible as Conan's love interest, while Rose McGowan just barely manages to assert enough creepiness as a psychopathic witch. Granted, none of the actors were given much of a storyline to work with.

And what a terrible story it is. When pitted side by side against the origin story of the 1982 version, one can clearly see how the remake just falls to pieces. Instead of a sprawling sense of history and realism, we are instead treated to dozens of blatant CGI shots with oversaturated sunrises and knockoff light sources. There's little in the way of scale or attention to detail, and looks like it could have been shot anywhere with the right planning. Some scenes, including Conan's battle with a legion of sand warriors is...interesting, if not contrived and predictable. I found myself immediately flashing back to a similar fight scene in the Mummy Returns. By the time the final act had risen to its pinnacle, I was hiding my face in my hand and peeking out through splayed fingers at the horrible redundancy of it all.

The remake certainly can't best the 1982 original, if it was even trying at all. Assuming the same title as its predecessor smacks of arrogance and cheapness, proving that Nispel cannot hold a directorial candle to John Milius, while Momoa would be trampled underfoot by Schwarzenegger's power. I didn't care for any of the soulless characters, and I found myself yearning for James Earl Jones' eerily wicked Thulsa Doom who proves a far more fascinating villain to drive the storyline. Die-hard Conan fans should rent this and leave it be, but I would almost recommend they go play the Age of Conan MMO, read the original Robert E. Howard stories, or take the easy way out and fire up the 1982 film instead.