- Published on Amazon.com
Found myself rolling through the channels at 1AM again last night and ran across Six Gun. It was done in 2010, so I thought, Oh boy, a contemporary treatment of the old genre. I should have kept on clicking.
Oh, the movie had it's interesting points, if you count a pedophilic villain as a redeeming social quality, but the rest of this Indie attempt was purely stinkeroo, buckaroo. The photography was OK, actually good in certain spots, but the editing sucked the success out of it. The writing was straight out of the eighth grade, I presume to match the level of the acting. There wasn't an actor you'd recognize in the entire project. I'm surprised they put the names on the credits to protect the guilty.
But wait, there's more.
For openers, the viewer should not be challenged with deciding whether or not a movie is a drama or a comedy. This one was neither. For instance, the bad guy, a skinny, thin-lipped, town-owner, crook type, and the pedophile we discussed earlier, gets some information from a citizen concerning the whereabouts of some people for whom he is looking. The man asks for a reward and the bad man turns to his lieutenant, a bearded behemoth Mongo type named (what else?), Bear, and says, "Take care of him."
You can imagine what happened next. It's the same thing that happened in the past season of Justified when Boyd told his goon, Colt, to take care of an informant. What you heard next in that professionally written series was an ear-splitting BLAM as Colt iced the guy off-screen with a Colt .45 automatic. Boyd came out and looked in horror and explained that he wanted Colt to pay the man , not shoot the man, and that in the future he should be more complete with his instructions. You had to be there. Timing is everything.
Not so in Six Gun. What you hear, and in a horribly timed sequence at that, is a whimpy little bang off screen, with the same clarification and admonition from Mr. Thin Lips. It can't be comedy if the timing is off.
Which brings up another point. The pyrotechnics and stunts in the film must have handled by Mattel. The gun fights sounded as if they were being waged with cap pistols.
Furthermore, the stunts must have been done by the "actors" themselves, and none of them had ever been on an actual horse. I only saw one scene where the horses broke a canter, and that includes the scene where the boss man implores his evil minions to hie themselves to the camp of the men who had just stolen his money. The scene shows men running to their mounts, the next, men mounted, and the next, men barely trotting off in pursuit. Some hieing. Some galloping. Pathetic. Just pathetic. Even the posse walks out of town after the bad guys.
I made it through about 30 minutes or so before finally having enough.
Unlike the last time I couldn't sleep and kept watching a bad movie, this time I turned off the set and tossed and turned for another hour. It's not a testimonial to say that a movie is worse than insomnia.