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Negotiate This: By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much [Audiobook, CD] [Audio CD]

Herb Cohen
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Sept. 30 2005
"Care...but not that much" has become Herb Cohen's mantra. In the twenty years since the classic You Can Negotiate Anything was published, negotiating has become a way of life. In both personal and business relationships, Cohen has taught the world how to give and take, realize what is really important in the bargaining process, and be able to win or compromise with the most effective strategies ever conceived. This audiobook covers relationships between husbands and wives, children and their parents, and employers and employees. Those who have learned to play the negotiating game well relieve tensions, substantially improve communications, and solve many day-to-day problems. With his trademark humor and irreverent style, Cohen uses stories, metaphors, and real-life examples to inspire listeners to reflect upon their own personal behavior and experience to take charge of negotiating anything! As a practicing negotiator for three decades, Cohen has been intimately involved in the world's headlines, including the fallout from the devastating events of September 11th.

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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Cohen is an accomplished, successful negotiator, a talent that appears largely attributable to his creative intelligence, his intense focus on attaining his client's goals and a negotiating style that is low-key, humorous and flexible. His primary message in this book is the negotiator's need to cultivate a certain detachment-hence the book's subtitle. It also offers street-smart advice on effective demeanor, a cooperative style and the bargaining process. About a third of the book is devoted to the "perceptual TIP"-in which Cohen explains how to manipulate the perceived levels of time, information and power to create an advantage in negotiations. All of this advice is buried in an entertaining melange of stories ranging from biblical tales through real-life business negotiations to everyday activities (such as convincing one's kids to come home on time), all delivered in the same unassuming tone one presumes Cohen uses at the bargaining table. Of less interest is an odd chapter that combines the author's advice on terrorism and parenting and 40 pages of appendixes that reproduce documents and articles relating to the Iranian hostage crisis, Clinton's Camp David Summit in 2000 and 20-year-old warnings about the threat of terrorism. Unfortunately, the book's content is often only loosely related, as though gathered in chunks from a couple of decades of speeches or seminars. Within the chapters, new sections repeatedly interrupt mid-story. The result is a book that features the practical wisdom of experience and the ring of authority, but sometimes wanders beyond the limits of the reader's patience.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Booklist

Why has it taken master negotiator Cohen more than two decades to produce a sequel to You Can Negotiate Anything ? Perhaps the accumulation of additional clarifying experience, as his angle this time is detached involvement or conscious inattention. Or, because many of his original fan club have matured, he has geared this book to a new, younger audience of business people. No matter the motivation, Cohen as always gives good advice, picking examples as unrelated as Moses' negotiations with the Almighty to Jackie Gleason's landmark deal with then-CBS head William Paley. The lessons are many: Successful persuaders are optimistic, regular guys, and employ self-deprecating humor. Remember to differentiate yourself--and enjoy every day. Negotiation is a problem-solving process. Expect at least one gem every few pages, along with a lot of great stories. Just say yes to an avalanche of reader requests. Barbara Jacobs
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Zen and the Art of Negotiation May 26 2004
I first heard, and heard of, Herb Cohen on the radio when Don Imus interviewed him one morning this past year. He sounded like a late great-uncle of mine: mild-mannered and self-effacing, with an endearing Yiddish-inflected speech pattern. (And the photo on the dust jacket reinforced this connection for me, although there's no facial resemblance.) But this "average schlub" -- my phrase, not his -- has been at the helm of some of the world's most tension-fraught negotiations in the last several decades. When you read "Negotiate This!", you can see why.
Most of my praise for this book would merely echo that left by others, but I did want to touch on two matters. To answer the two or three people who panned it: This isn't an instruction manual, nor is it meant to be, any more than a Zen ko'an is a detailed instruction on how to live life along the lines of shari'a. In fact, the title of this review typed above would have been a great alternative title for the book. If you want blow-by-blow instructions and nothing else, check out his earlier books or those written by others. This book tells you not only the *what*, but the *why* -- and is highly entertaining, too.
I noticed that only one other reviewer went into detail about Cohen's having tried to negotiate the Iranian hostage crisis on behalf of ex-president Jimmy Carter, or his experience in high-profile, high-stakes international negotiations in general. I think those in and of themselves are reason enough to read the book, even if you don't feel you could stand to brush up on your negotiating skills (though I can't imagine anyone who couldn't use a little such fine-tuning).
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Given some of the detailed comments of other reviewers, I won't go into too much detail in my review. However, it needs to be pointed out that Mr. Cohen applied his theories for negotiating to his book with quite a lot of success, to the point where you are convinced of what he's telling you. I want to clarify that I do not disagree with his strategies for negotiating: indeed, I think they work so well, it is hard to distance yourself from the book enough, to the point where you can realize that Cohen is a master at getting (most) people into buying into his ideas.
All in all, this is a book I highly recommend for readers of all types: the MBA type who's going through a Negotiation class, the manager who faces a tough face-to-face with someone (s)he needs to convince, the mother or the father who needs to talk the kids into something, or simply the casual reader "passing by" who feels like having a good time flying through the pages of this highly enjoyable and very useful book by one of the world's most respected negotiators. Otherwise, you can imagine how tough it can be to receive praise such as the one printed on the book's backcover, from the likes of Donald Trump, Mario Cuomo and Larry King.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars NEGOTIATE THIS HITS THE BULLSEYE Dec 7 2003
By A Customer
Herb Cohen has given us an impressive book that is lively and readable. It's filled with realistic and amusing anecdotes that make his points come alive. Not only is this the best book ever written about negotiating but decades from now it will be regarded as a classic in psychology, sociology and the human condition. On the scale of 1 through5, "Negotiate This" is a six.
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5.0 out of 5 stars This follow-up is worth the wait... July 6 2004
Herb Cohen's YOU CAN NEGOTIATE ANYTHING is my all-time
favorite book on negotiations . . . I still recommend it as the
absolute best book ever written on the subject.
Amazingly, that book was written in 1980 and Cohen did not
write a follow-up until now . . . as he notes in the Acknowledgments to his latest effort, NEGOTIATE THIS!, "This book has been incubating in me for some time. To be sure, if you believe in the academic axiom, 'publish or perish,' I would be long dead."
Fortunately, that is not the case. Cohen lives, and that's a great thing because NEGOTIATE THIS! is a worthy successor to his earlier effort . . . it is filled with useful examples and practical advice that is applicable to virtually any negotiation.
In fact, that is one of the real strengths of the book; i.e., it will be useful to a wide range of folks--salespeople, diplomats, even parents. (A whole chapter is devoted to them!)
The key is to keep in mind the subtitle to NEGOTIATE THIS! . . . you can succeed BY CARING, BUT NOT T-H-A-T MUCH.
There were several memorable passages; among them:
* Basically, there is a twofold explanation for why we often do not achieve our potential as negotiators. One, as we've seen, is that we are too emotionally involved, caring too much. The second reason is that we have too much authority. What I'm saying is that the last person who should negotiate for a country, corporation, or business is the chief executive officer. Take that one step further and realize that the worst person to negotiate for you is-you. Clearly this presents
a practical problem that can be solved by limiting your own authority. Always give yourself room to say, "That sounds good to me but I'll have to check with my board.
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Most recent customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Builds Your Confidence for Negotiating
Mr. Cohen does an effective job of providing the reader with a number of useful techniques to be used when negotiating. Read more
Published 15 days ago by Ben J Schmidt
5.0 out of 5 stars This is one Interesting and Useful Book.
This book was recommended to me by my financial advisor. Once I got into it I found it difficult to put down. Read more
Published 22 months ago by thankful for so much
3.0 out of 5 stars caring not too much
Maybe Herb drifts around so much with this book because he cares about getting his point across... but not that much. Read more
Published on Oct. 12 2010 by BilboBoblo
1.0 out of 5 stars Irrelevant rumble, effort not worthy the mention
Compared to "You Can Negotiate Anything", there is nothing new here. While "You Can Negotiate Anything" is a very ordinary book itself (way overrated in my... Read more
Published on July 5 2004
1.0 out of 5 stars Garbage
This book is garbage. 95% of the time while reading this book I was asking myself "what does THIS have to do with negotiating? Read more
Published on April 15 2004
3.0 out of 5 stars Not What I Expected from this Master
Okay. I know everyone so far has given this new book of Cohen's five stars. He is an excellent writer and great negotiator and I've enjoyed his previous books and gotten a lot from... Read more
Published on Feb. 9 2004 by Susanna Hutcheson
5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read this!
Not only his ideas and insightfulness of people is helpful for everyone, he's also a good writer that I couldn't put the book down. Read more
Published on Jan. 18 2004
5.0 out of 5 stars THE HIGHEST RATING
I read "Negotiate This! By Caring But Not T-H-A-T Much over a weekend and found myself constantly smiling and laughing out loud. Read more
Published on Dec 7 2003
Herb Cohen has given us an impressive book that is lively and readable. It's filled with realistic and amusing anecdotes that make his points come alive. Read more
Published on Dec 7 2003
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