Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time [Hardcover]

Ferrazzi's discussion of establishing a lifestyle of connecting with others is the benchmark by which other discussions of networking should be measured. Too many people think of networking has something you do frantically when you discover that you are out of work and are admonished to pursue the "hidden job market". As Ferrazzi explains, the time to connect is long before you recognize a specific need. In the future loyalties will be to social networks and not to employers.

The author's credibility in writing on the subject is very high as he draws extensively from personal experience in illustrating his principles. Initially I was a little uncertain as to the relevance for me of some of his experiences such as hosting dinner parties with well-known public figures. However, as I reread the book a second and third time over the last few months, I can see that he is a mentor on my bookshelf that I will continue to revisit as I expand my connecting skills and the personal relevance of these stories and guidelines increases.

This is a valuable resource not only for those who would like to leave their current comfort zone to expand networking capabilities. It also provides helpful advice on personal branding and increasing visibility. I very highly recommend it.

Never Eat Alone is a rare, detailed glimpse into how those with no special access can connect to those they want to meet. For many people who are good at connecting, this activity becomes a way of life. It's a profession and a hobby. As such, connecting can become all consuming. Many will find that aspect of Mr. Ferrazzi's story to be unattractive. But I found his candor in this regard to be refreshing.

If you step back from his enthusiasm for connecting, the mental attitudes and processes he describes are just what everyone needs to use who wants to be better connected and accomplish more.

All of us know more than any one of us. If you take two equally talented young people in any field, the one who is better at connecting will live a more successful life than one who tries to go at everything as a lone ranger.

I have known dozens of master connectors. They all do some variation of what Mr. Ferrazzi describes in this book. Here is how I would distill those lessons:

1. Decide who you want to meet to further your objective of accomplishing more.

2. Learn more about the person.

3. Find what you can do to help that person in an area where they care.

4. Develop a strategy to meet briefly face to face.

5. Share what you want to do to help when you meet.

6. Stay in touch with more ways to help.

7. Attend events where other master connectors attend and link into fields which are not naturally yours by becoming acquainted with these master connectors.

8. Study those who are very good at this.

If you keep in mind the sheer pleasure of making a difference as you do this, you'll soon be a superb connector. I recommend undertaking this task on behalf of something you are passionate about such as a charity you support.

One of the best parts of this book is that Mr. Ferrazzi is generous in sharing his mistakes. The world doesn't end for you as a connecting queen or king if you offend a poo-bah. You just pick yourself up and do better next time.

I liked his humility about his limitations in other fields. Peter Drucker would have approved of Mr. Ferrazzi's decision to work on what he has a talent and love for, connecting, rather than try to become more competent at things that are difficult and unpleasant for him . . . like quantitative analysis. The story about how he got his start at Deloitte is worth the price of the book.

Another strength of the book can be found in the excellent description of why people find President Clinton to be so compelling in person.

Skip books about networking and relationship building. Read Never Eat Alone instead!

Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time, by Keith Ferrazzi, will put into perspective just how large your initial networks are--the ones most of us start out with before we consciously start to network. It is refreshing to read Keith Ferrazzi describe it: friends, relatives, friends of relatives, relatives of friends, your spouse's or significant other's relatives and acquaintances, current and former colleagues, members of professional and social organizations, past and present neighbors, people you went to school with, church members, former teachers and employers, people you socialize with, and people who provide a service or sell you products. It's a long list, from people in your neighborhood, to the salespeople who sell you reagents, to people from far away that you may only have met on the Internet. No longer are you contacting friends or people with whom you have a mutual acquaintance. You've entered the cold call zone.
-- Never keep score. If your interactions are ruled by generosity, your rewards will follow.
-- Your relationships with others are your finest, most credible expression of who you are and what you have to offer.
-- Give your time and expertise freely. It is like Miracle-Gro® for networks.
-- The best time to build a network is before you need it.
-- Do your homework. Never pick up the phone or plan an introduction before knowing as much as possible about your contact.
-- There's no need to ponder who picks up the lunch check. Generosity is the key to success. -- With networking, it's better to give before you receive.
-- Don't come to the party empty-handed. You're only as good as what you give away.
-- Social scientists are proving that people who are more connected with other people live longer and are healthier.
You'll discover that you never know yourself until you're tested, and that you don't even know you're being tested until afterwards, and that in fact there isn't anyone giving the test except yourself. On the other hand, you should never hesitate to contact the top people in your field. While you may not have more than a few moments with a well-published investigator, you never know when a hiring manager or recruiter will call that person seeking to fill a job. Networking is much more than a job-seeking routine; it's a life-long career enhancement tool. But it does not have to become a life philosophy, something that you live for, as Keith Ferrazzi described in his book.