Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.
No More Mr. Nice Guy
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Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
So far, reviewers aren't doing this book justice. I picked it up six months ago and was amazed at how well it described my plight as a "nice guy" (a.k.a. codependent). I've read stacks of self-help books, but this one stands above the rest. I mean it, it stands out, by far. And several guys I know who've read the book feel the same way.
This book fully described what I've been going through, told me how things got to be this way, and gave me concrete steps on how to change things. Since I've read it, my life has improved, I feel better, more powerful, and people are responding to me in a new way. If you're a guy walking through life feeling frustrated that you don't get the love, respect, and sex you deserve, you owe it to yourself to read this book.
This book fully described what I've been going through, told me how things got to be this way, and gave me concrete steps on how to change things. Since I've read it, my life has improved, I feel better, more powerful, and people are responding to me in a new way. If you're a guy walking through life feeling frustrated that you don't get the love, respect, and sex you deserve, you owe it to yourself to read this book.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By Arcaeris
Format:Hardcover
No More Mr. Nice Guy was the perfect book for me. As a former Nice Guy who was depressed and suicidal for many years, this book changed (and possibly saved) my life.
A lot of it is not for everyone. The book very specifically it targets males who seek approval from others (mostly women) for all the wrong reasons, and seeks to help them overcome this unhealthy behavior. Part of the book describes common approval-seeking behaviors, part of it goes into the (mostly Freudian) psychology behind why the author thinks that some men behave this way, and part of the book gives exercises with which to help Nice Guys get over their problem and get what they want from life. There are plenty of real-men examples, too, to compare yourself against.
One of the fundamental premises behind being a Nice Guy is that you feel that something is inherently wrong with you and your life and there is something that you must do or find or something out there that will make your life work somehow. If that describes the way you think, by all means buy this book. If not, you can still get some good use out of the common approval-seeking behaviors and psychology stuff. It's interesting to see how many people out there really do things for approval.
The method to get over it works, if you can make yourself do it. It's not an easy thing to deal with. I know.
A lot of it is not for everyone. The book very specifically it targets males who seek approval from others (mostly women) for all the wrong reasons, and seeks to help them overcome this unhealthy behavior. Part of the book describes common approval-seeking behaviors, part of it goes into the (mostly Freudian) psychology behind why the author thinks that some men behave this way, and part of the book gives exercises with which to help Nice Guys get over their problem and get what they want from life. There are plenty of real-men examples, too, to compare yourself against.
One of the fundamental premises behind being a Nice Guy is that you feel that something is inherently wrong with you and your life and there is something that you must do or find or something out there that will make your life work somehow. If that describes the way you think, by all means buy this book. If not, you can still get some good use out of the common approval-seeking behaviors and psychology stuff. It's interesting to see how many people out there really do things for approval.
The method to get over it works, if you can make yourself do it. It's not an easy thing to deal with. I know.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Has this guy been reading my mail ? Was he somehow able to put a mirror up to the confusion in my heart, read it, and then clarify it ? Every once in a while, I come across a book that captivates you, and speaks DIRECTLY to your heart in a clear fashion. This is THAT book. As a guy who is so busy he can read an average of only 3 PAGES a day, I was able to read this 192 page book in just one week. (You do the math.) It is so sensible and relevant, I was able to read it that "quick". I've often wondered why the very women who refer to me as a "really nice guy" and a "fabulous catch" are the very same women who won't give me the time of day. You too ? This book will show you why. Having a difficult time deciding what you want in a women ? This book will help you figure that out so when you start looking, you will know what you are looking for. Ever wonder why you can't have a successful relationship with ANY women ? This book will show you why, and exactly what to do about it. (Hint: It will show you why and how women are NOT ALWAYS the problem.) Wonder why you sometimes feel so bad when you experience attractioin to women, even though deep down inside you know that your attraction to them is natural? This book will help you figure out why, and get rid of unfounded "guilt", especially if you were raised RIGIDLY RELIGIOUS, but ininformed, as I was. I could go on and on singing this book's praises but suffice to say it HELPED ME OUT. A LOT!!! I'm even confident enough to ask women out on dates again. Last but not least, this book has been so truthful and helpful to me, that I now think so highly of it that my kids will do something before I fiscally assist them in going to college or university. They'll read this! Thank you, Dr. Glover, for showing me that I am GOOD ENOUGH! Thank you, Dr. Glover. THANK YOU!!!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By sidski
Format:Hardcover
For me...this book really hit the mark. It gave an incredible description of many of my limiting behaviors and possible reasons for it. It is written in plain language,easy to read, many concrete examples of Nice Guys lives and how they create their own problems for themselves. Every few pages there is an activity to do and think about...great feature. Use it like a workbook...for me, it has brought many positive changes in just 2 weeks of gaining awareness and TAKING ACTION. Good luck on YOUR journey...you may be afraid at times, but once you follow the exercises in this book, DO what is right FOR YOU. You are worth it!
By Clifton
Format:Hardcover
I own both the PDF and the soft cover versions of the book. 'Just glanced at the reviews as I was checking on the hard cover version. As is frequently the case when reading reviews of books you have read you wonder if some others have read the same book!
Some of the misunderstanding, I suspect, comes from the concepts and definitions of "Nice Guy." If you define, "Nice Guy" as Dr. Glover does (and/or notices how he defines his terms) then you may be more inclined to understand and/or accept his hypothesis. In the years prior to my becoming aware of and acquiring Dr. Glover's book I paid particular interest to the Internet Newsgroup discussions of the "Nice Guy" vs. "The Jerk" in social relations (singles in particular) . Through at the very least several hundred if not one or two thousand messages I could see that the various comments and exchanges (some shall we say "heated") were closing in on "something." That something was not very clear, but the concept of a "Good Guy" vs. the "Nice Guy" started to emerge. I think what the discussion groups were coming close to hitting on is what Dr. Glover calls the "Integrated Man."
Dr. Glover does not claim to have discovered some new psychological phenomenon as far as I can tell. Rather, he noticed, documented and analyzed the thoughts and behaviors of some the men in his practice. Having noticed a common thread of thoughts and behaviors which seem to be limiting the productivity and happiness of the men (and their families) he was dealing with he went about working on developing a means of describing the thought processes behind them and how to deal with them.
If you substituted, "Man or Person engaged in thoughts and behaviors which self limit personal happiness and productivity" for "Nice Guy... Read more ›
Some of the misunderstanding, I suspect, comes from the concepts and definitions of "Nice Guy." If you define, "Nice Guy" as Dr. Glover does (and/or notices how he defines his terms) then you may be more inclined to understand and/or accept his hypothesis. In the years prior to my becoming aware of and acquiring Dr. Glover's book I paid particular interest to the Internet Newsgroup discussions of the "Nice Guy" vs. "The Jerk" in social relations (singles in particular) . Through at the very least several hundred if not one or two thousand messages I could see that the various comments and exchanges (some shall we say "heated") were closing in on "something." That something was not very clear, but the concept of a "Good Guy" vs. the "Nice Guy" started to emerge. I think what the discussion groups were coming close to hitting on is what Dr. Glover calls the "Integrated Man."
Dr. Glover does not claim to have discovered some new psychological phenomenon as far as I can tell. Rather, he noticed, documented and analyzed the thoughts and behaviors of some the men in his practice. Having noticed a common thread of thoughts and behaviors which seem to be limiting the productivity and happiness of the men (and their families) he was dealing with he went about working on developing a means of describing the thought processes behind them and how to deal with them.
If you substituted, "Man or Person engaged in thoughts and behaviors which self limit personal happiness and productivity" for "Nice Guy... Read more ›
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4.4 out of 5 stars
Most recent customer reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
i liked this book
i liked this book, although i have read books that were more suitable for my situation. but still some good things to help with relationships
Published 2 months ago by Joel
3.0 out of 5 stars
A Different Spin on Co-Dependency
Somewhat repetitive text. Nothing here that is not presented better elsewhere. Try Adult Children of Alcoholics for better causal and remedial results for co-dependency even those... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Ken Young
5.0 out of 5 stars
Awesome book Robert Glover!
Robert Glover is experienced, educated and know what he's talking about! Definetly a book I couldn't put down because I could relate with the book so much! Read more
Published 7 months ago by Jason D'Souza
5.0 out of 5 stars
For All Men
This book will find something if not a lot about yourself you can relate to. I have not read an entire book for 11 years. But I cant put this book down. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Andrew Fahlman
4.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful for "Nice Guy's"
I'd recommend this book for any "nice guy." It shows that "nice guys" aren't really nice.
It's a must read.
It's a must read.
Published 17 months ago by Liam Tarr
4.0 out of 5 stars
an astute and insightful book
Unlike Mr Delaney who put up the first review, and missed the point, I found this book very insightful and accurate. Read more
Published on Feb. 13 2010 by D. Simonelli
5.0 out of 5 stars
Saved My Son's Life
This book saved my son's life. I found it on Amazon quite by accident as I was searching for another book he wanted. I just knew it was what he needed. He was the typical Mr. Read more
Published on Oct. 28 2007 by Carole A. Martin
3.0 out of 5 stars
Informative
The author's second chapter reflects on how some males have broken from connections with their fathers since post WWII and have been basically raised by females at home and in... Read more
Published on Sept. 2 2005 by Armen
5.0 out of 5 stars
No More Mr. Nice Guy!: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Wa
This Book is Brillant! Buy it read it apply it.
Published on Aug. 13 2005 by Phillip Bastians
5.0 out of 5 stars
Practical and accurate
I have read books like Wild at Heart, but have not seen anything as practical and accurate as this book is. Read more
Published on Jan. 19 2004 by John Crowe
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