Not Another B Movie

It had its moments & that's all, wasted the GREAT cast of actors potential of what could have been. If I had access to the cast supplied, I would have not wasted their talents on such a terrible script. Three men sit at a restaurant table and go over different scenarios of a potential script, THAT'S IT, NOTHING MORE! The actor's performances were GREAT!!!! Reggie Bannister gave a fantastic performance as usual & I loved Erin Moran's performance as well. David Faustino, Joe Estevez & Ed Asner even delivered great performances but absolutely nothing can save this sleeper, waste of my time and money. I had high hopes for this flick & wish I could have given better marks but, it's not worthy. 2 bloody thumbs down, way down.
Schroeder (Publisher/Editor/Owner) of Cult Movies Magazine & TV

SYNOPSIS:

Just because you can make a movie, doesn't mean you should...

Written & Directed by: John Wesley Norton
Starring: Byron Thames, Larry Thomas, James Vallo, Lindsay Gareth

REVIEW:

Stop me if you've heard this one - a writer, a director, and a producer walk into a bar. They have coffee and drinks during which time they haggle over script changes and the film is interspersed with a movie within a movie detailing the plot and showing us different takes of each person's ideas of how certain scenes of the flick they're haggling over should go while an aspiring waitress waits on their table and tries to get her foot in the door with them to catch her big break by any, and I mean ANY, means necessary. Wait, was I supposed to have a punch line? Sorry, not this time. Fortunately though, this movie has one, as well as an actual message. Wait...what???

RAMBLINGS:

I knew eventually that if I wished hard enough and believed strongly enough, that I would someday get what I wanted again. It's been a long, long time since a movie has fallen in my lap that felt as I was watching it unfold that it was written specifically for me. I know this wasn't, but dammit it FELT like it, and that's good enough for me. I was intrigued yet scared seeing the title on my screener copy, knowing more than likely I would be getting parody or spoof and honestly, in the last couple of years both PSYCHO SLEEPOVER and most assuredly STAN HELSING have ruined me on those for quite some time to come.

All three lead actors shine in their roles, as if they were meant to play them. Byron Thames' performance as the writer struggling through the meeting trying to convince his two associates to film a real horror movie that would put them on the map instead of yet another low budget T&A flick to make quick money had me riveted to the screen hanging on his every word and empathizing with his plight to no end. Lindsay Gareth of one of my favorite movies of the last decade, STUPID TEENAGERS MUST DIE! is always a joy to see on my screen, and damned if she didn't show a beautiful range of emotion this time that I couldn't help but smile at as the waitress dreaming of getting her shot at being a real actress. I knew she had it in her, and she finally got to prove it to the world. Cameos from genre legends such as Robert Z'Dar, Lloyd Kaufman, and Reggie Bannister were all priceless, as well as the cop team of Joe Estevez and David Faustino in the movie within the movie scenes constantly making me laugh at their cheesy jokes and cheering along with their 80s-style macho swagger.

LAST WORDS:

"Intelligent", "Thought-provoking", and "Must-see" are all pretentious adjectives usually reserved for describing Oscar-winning fodder, not horror films. However first, Oscar can suck it and second, this isn't your average horror film either. It isn't for everyone, but not for the usual reasons - it's a talky dramatic humorous satire with bits and pieces of a horror movie sprinkled in between via the described scenes of the movie the main characters are discussing over dinner. So, if you can't stand rooting for one character to get her shot at glory and another character to overcome his fear of being stuck in a rut and getting his true writing style out there for the world to see, stay far away from this. If you loathe character development, intelligent satire, and in-joke movie references, do not watch this flick. But if you don't mind those things...if you DO wanna cheer for people to make the right choices and win in their lives while enjoying a viciously eloquent satirical skewering of the movie making process, then like me, NOT ANOTHER B MOVIE is exactly what you need. It's awesome enough for me to now buy for my own collection, so it definitely deserves your attention too.

Implying this is a B movie is a gross insult to B movies. It barely qualifies for a T - as in Terrible.

Normally I pass on horror flicks, but this one was promoted as a spoof, with the added attraction of an unusual POV - that of producers, directors, etc., making the movie. 'Spoof' involves humor, which was MIA during the first 16 minutes. Can't address whatever happened afterwards, as I bailed from a horrible experience. Vapid dialogue, uninspired acting, skill-challenged directing...

Looking on the bright side, two audience subsets will benefit from this disaster. First, those who are into paying for pain. Second, that select group who have written their own scripts (such as I have), know their creations are potential blockbusters (as mine certainly is), but are disheartened because they've had no luck getting it read - let alone approved - by Hollywood's PTB. Fresh hope can be drawn by aspiring script writers after learning that somehow, somewhere, someone was found who not only read 'Not Another B Movie,' but funded it!