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NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
 
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NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children [Hardcover]

Po Bronson , Ashley Merryman
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
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NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children + Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn--and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less + What's Going on in There?: How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life
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Review

"The authors throw open the doors on this research to create a book that is not only groundbreaking but compelling as well. Even if you don't have children, or your kids are grown, you should find the revelations about how the brain works and the rigors and frustrations of the scientific process captivating . . . We see [Bronson and Merryman] doggedly digging for answers to confounding questions . . . Bronson, with his gentle, conversational style, lays out every conundrum clearly, and shows all the steps the researchers took to ensure accurate results, including tweaking their testing methods when results were inconclusive or seemed flawed. In a sense, it's "Science for Dummies" - explaining cutting-edge research to a lay readership... Riveting."

(San Francisco Chronicle )

"Engaging . . . It's not didactic - more of a revelatory journey . . . Bronson relays some startling scientific findings . . . Nobody's ever done this before in a systematic way . . . Using the simple technique of speaking to researchers and observing them at work, Bronson and Merryman avoid the smugness common to the parenting oeuvre, which is often rather self-satisfied and/or guilt-inducing. This book's great value is to show that much of what we take to be the norms of parenting - i.e. what's good for children - is actually non-scientific and based on our own adult social anxieties . . . This is a funny, clever, sensible book. Every parent should read it." (The Financial Times )

"NURTURESHOCK is one of the most important books you will read this year. Bronson and Merryman move parenting out of the realm of folklore and into the realm of science -- and reveal what decades of studies teach us about the complexities of raising, happy, healthy, self-motivated kids. As a writer, I was impressed by the prodigious research and keen analysis. As a father, I was consumed with taking notes and exhilarated by all I learned." (Daniel H. Pink, author of A WHOLE NEW MIND )

"The least touchy-feely [parenting book] ever . . . Bronson delights in showing that most parental intuition and supposedly common knowledge about child rearing is just bullshit, and he has the facts to prove it. Much like in his previous work, he's entered a genre known for emotional cheese, and produced a book that's hard to put down and easy to take seriously. Grade: A" (The Onion AV Club )

"Bronson is a writer who can capture unwieldy topics such as Silicon Valley (The Nudist on the Late Shift), family (Why Do I Love These People?) and big decisions (What Should I Do with My Life?). Now, in Nurtureshock, he's taking on child rearing, and raising some issues about adolescent intelligence, language acquisition, early friendships and aggression that will surprise even well-informed parents." (Time Out New York )

"A provocative collection of essays popularizing recent research that challenges conventional wisdom about raising children...[Bronson and Merryman] ably explore a range of subjects of interest to parents... Their findings are often surprising. For example, in schools with greater racial diversity, the odds that a child will have a friend of a different race decrease; listening to "baby DVDs" does not increase an infant's rate of word acquisition; children with inconsistent and permissive fathers are nearly as aggressive in school as children of distant and disengaged fathers. Bronson and Merryman call attention to what they see as two basic errors in thinking about children. The first is the fallacy of similar effect-the assumption that what is true for adults is also true for children. The second-the fallacy of the good/bad dichotomy-is the assumption that a trait or factor is either good or bad, when in fact it may be both (e.g., skill at lying may be a sign of intelligence, and empathy may become a tool of aggression.) The authors also provide helpful notes for each chapter and an extensive bibliography. A skilled, accessible presentation of scientific research in layman's language." (Kirkus )

"Bronson is a modern Studs Terkel." (Glasgow Herald )

"Irresistible... [NurtureShock] will make you a better mom or dad without you even knowing it." (TheDailyBeast.com )

"Adds insight to irresistible nonfiction subject matter... destined to turn up in conversations among working parents."

(New York Times Susan Dominus )

"Some of the most groundbreaking research on children conducted in years... will knock your socks off." (HuffingtonPost.com )

"The most important book I've read this year... If you only read one thing I review, please make it this."
(Wired )

"A highly readable Malcolm Gladwell-esque look at the social science of child rearing."
("XX Factor," Slate. com
)

"Blinding... Brilliant."
(Washington Post )

Astonishing... prepare to be slack-jawed... This tour de force is one of the best parenting psychology books in years and will likely be seismic in influence."
(Library Journal (Starred Review) )

"The Freakonomics of child rearing... a fantastic read... a wake-up call for parents." (Good Morning America )

"As he did in What Should I Do With My Life?, his 2002 bestseller, Bronson has adroitly polished a fairly unoriginal subject into high-gloss pop psychology. This isn't the big news of the day, but the small, consequential news that affects our daily lives; it's the stuff of breakfast shows and private-school parenting seminars. It's 'What Should I Do With My Kids?'"
(The New York Times Review of Books )

Book Description

In a world of modern, involved, caring parents, why are so many kids aggressive and cruel? Where is intelligence hidden in the brain, and why does that matter? Why do cross-racial friendships decrease in schools that are more integrated? If 98% of kids think lying is morally wrong, then why do 98% of kids lie? What's the single most important thing that helps infants learn language?
NurtureShock is a groundbreaking collaboration between award-winning science journalists Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. They argue that when it comes to children, we've mistaken good intentions for good ideas. With impeccable storytelling and razor-sharp analysis, they demonstrate that many of modern society's strategies for nurturing children are in fact backfiring--because key twists in the science have been overlooked.
Nothing like a parenting manual, the authors' work is an insightful exploration of themes and issues that transcend children's (and adults') lives.

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6 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (6 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Likely to change the way you think about parenting, Nov 14 2009
By 
A. Volk (Canada) - See all my reviews
(#1 HALL OF FAME)    (#1 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   
This review is from: NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children (Hardcover)
First, let me start off by qualifying that title. This book will almost certainly change the way you think about parenting. But it won't completely change everything, and you may find that you already know/agree with what's in the book. What the book does, is look at 10 aspects of child development: praise and self-esteem, sleep deprivation, racial stereotypes, lying, early markers of intelligence, sibling conflict, teen rebellion, self-control, aggression, and infant speech.

The authors then summarize the current research on each of these topics, and come up with answers that run counter to popular conventions. For example, scolding your child for lying can have the effect of promoting lying. Because it teaches the child that admitting to lying means they're going to get a scolding. Better for them to just keep quiet. Better yet for you to praise their honesty, so they're motivated to be honest rather than trying to motivate them to be afraid of lying. That's not revolutionary, but then again, neither are children. They are complicated though, and so is parenting. While they aren't as careful in the individual chapters, the authors do state in the introduction that children are not "one size fits all" in their development. That's important for parents to realize. Still, science can tell us what works for most kids most of the time.

So it's very nice to have a book that does a lot of the hard work for parents by speaking to a wide range of different experts, reading (sometimes dense) scientific journal articles, and coming up with an easy-to-read summary of the issue. As a professional and a parent, I found that I knew and agree with parts of the book, but there were other issues that were enlightening to me. Bronson and Merryman are careful not to preach to parents about what's right and wrong. Rather, they present the evidence, which speaks pretty clearly for itself. This kind of advice- impartial, evidence-based, and pragmatic, makes the book a very worthwhile read for parents of children of all ages. The advice, as you can tell from the topics, ranges from infants to teens. The book in general is clearly written and engaging, but there are still lots of good references at the end of the book should you be interested in digging deeper on your own for any of the topics. My only complaint would be that there weren't more topics covered, but that would both go against making the book easily digestible and be a never-ending task. As it stands, Nutureshock will almost certainly make you think about how you parent and/or the reasons why certain parenting actions make the difference that they do.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An Eye-Opener, April 5 2011
This review is from: NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children (Hardcover)
Most parents raise their children 'by the book,' but a new body of research would suggest that society's strategies for raising kids are indeed backfiring.

Why is it that children are sleeping in class?
How can praising children have an adverse effect?
Why do children lie?
Why do siblings fight?
Can self-control be taught?

These and a multitude of other questions are being addressed in NurtureShock.

The style of writing for this book is easy to follow and relies heavily on recent research to support the authors' argument. It is straight forward and not a 'dry read'; you don't have to look up anything on Google or on Wikipedia. The concepts and findings are easy to understand and the authors build up what is necessary in order to make their point.

The authors aren't telling the readers what is the right way to nurture children as that would be an insult to many parents, but rather what the research is telling us about the effects of the different ways parents and teachers are contributing to the children's growth. The book is more about the general findings and how this may be applied to most children.

This book is far from boring. To many parents, many ideas will challenge you and baffle you. I wouldn't say this book will ultimately change the way kids are being raised as old habits die hard, but you will experience a nurture shock.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Nurture Shock, Dec 7 2009
By 
S. B. Fraser (Toronto) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children (Hardcover)
I originally borrowed this book from the library and found it so interesting that I bought two copies, as Christmas presents, for family members who are teachers. You don't have to be a teacher to get something out of this book however. It is interesting, informative and well written. It questions much of the standard thinking concerning approaches to childhood education and behaviour and presents compelling arguments, backed up by solid research, that suggest new methods would be more effective. A good read.
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