- Paperback: 176 pages
- Publisher: Eraserhead Press (Mar 1 2005)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0976249820
- ISBN-13: 978-0976249825
- Product Dimensions: 21.7 x 14.1 x 1.2 cm
- Shipping Weight: 249 g
- Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (1 customer review)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #311,033 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Details |
Product Description
Product Description
You're on the run from the cops and need a place to disappear somehow. Luckily you happen across a secret ocean in the middle of Wyoming. An undiscovered world of zombies and pirates that, according to maps, couldn't possibly exist. But here it is, a vast white sea that is made of some kind of greasy blubber substance instead of water.
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Customer Reviews
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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Can You Survive the Ocean of Lard?,
By
This review is from: Ocean of Lard (Paperback)
"Ocean of Lard" is a parody of the Choose Your Own Adventure/Destiny books we read when we were young. Over the top writers Carlton Mellick and Kevin Donihe team up to provide various different trails you can take to various different endings. A man on the run from the cops finds a secret ocean of lard and has to join up with pirates in order to get away. This book pulls out all of the stops... There are bugs and pickle/monkey things, zombies, cyborg dominatrix, and much more! "The Eye World" is Mellick's story. "The Rotten Sore" is Donihe's. Illustrated by Terrasa Ulm. Mellick's style is in full force here, and he finds various new and original ideas to explore with every segment of the book. Donihe is also a very good writer. This is the first book by him I've read, but I will definitely keep an eye out for him in the future. If only this were the beginning of a continuing series...
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) Amazon.com:
4.2 out of 5 stars (22 customer reviews) 12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
I am a sick f***,
By Nathan Tyree "Author of Mr. Overby is Falling" - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Ocean of Lard (Paperback)
There was a point while reading Ocean of Lard when I set the book down and said: "well, that was disturbing." I know that that doesn't seem like such a big deal, but understand: I'm the guy who thinks that thinks that zombie sex with midgets is funny.Anyway, Ocean of Lard is great fun. It's a a twisted little romp for sick adults. It has pirates, sexy mermaids, pedophillia and everything else a broken mind needs. 15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
WARNING: you will enjoy this far too much,
By R. Duffy "literature junkie" - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Ocean of Lard (Paperback)
Very occasionally, life provides us with an escape so pure and full that upon it's end we are left in the fetal position, giggling maniacally and wondering why exactly we should ever want to do anything else at all ever again. Reading "The Ocean of Lard" is one of these rare escapes. I won't claim that this is a book that rivals establised literary classics, but it's not supposed to, which is why it's so enjoyable. The "choose your own adventure" format allows the reader to feel as if they're in control, when really you're just running blindly around in the brilliant maze that is author Carlton Mellick's imagination. No matter how many times you read through this, you won't be able to help but smile and become completely lost in it, which makes it just as important to own as any work by Shakespeare, Twain, or Hemingway. To keep, reading this review, turn to page 124. To make the right choice and avoid the doldrums of everyday life, but this book right now.
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fun For Twisted Adults,
By K. B. "Idiot Alien Thought Creature" - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Ocean of Lard (Paperback)
Who says kids have to have all the fun? This book is a sick & twisted adventure that lets you choose your own warped destiny. You're on the run due to your criminal actions. Things start getting weird immediately. The highway is abruptly transformed into a hiking trail. There's a mutant ocean of lard in the middle of Wyoming. You have three choices: Pirate Town, The Eye World, or The Rotten Sore. You can be a sailor sloshing through an ocean of lard fighting zombies and having sex with amazing mutant creatures! Of course, you could also choose to stay on land and take your chances in Pirate Town. The best part is, you can relive the adventure over and over again, varying the plot, amazing settings, mutant creatures, and kinky sex as you go! You can die over and over in imaginative ways and immediately start the fun again. I highly recommend taking this book to the office and indulging in it during those boring times when the boss disappears. It'll make your day much more interesting.
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