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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Agression in Girls Paperback – Apr 15 2003


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; New edition edition (April 15 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0156027348
  • ISBN-13: 978-0156027342
  • Product Dimensions: 20.4 x 13.5 x 2 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 318 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (68 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #229,704 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents


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The Linden School campus is nestled behind a web of sports fields that seem to hold at bay the bustling city in which it resides. Read the first page
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Out of keeping with the stock character on March 10 2004
Format: Paperback
I am sick and tired of hearing how typical male behaviors, such as overt aggression, are 'normal' and 'healthy' and typical female behaviors, such as the subtler aggression of girls, are somehow 'pathological'. How about this - both are normal, and both are wrong? Female bullies don't need an outlet for aggression - they need to learn some compassion and moral values.
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By Jan on March 11 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A must read for any mother of a daughter or a woman in search of herself -at any age. Provided many 'aha' moments and provided insight on a childhood endured 50 years ago. This book explains girl society and female bullying in a clear-headed, objective style. Not just a by-woman-for-women only read. Adds depth and perception to an overlooked aspect of female behaviour and interaction that has profound effect and echoes throughout a female's Kidd span. Very illuminating and informative and sadly, a one of a kind. This aspect of female behaviour warrants so much more exploration.
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By Shelly Taylor on July 4 2009
Format: Paperback
wonderfully written, I would highly recommend it for any woman or adolescent girl or boy. I think it does a great job of describing the hidden culture between women
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By A Customer on July 19 2004
Format: Paperback
Even as a woman in my late 20's I continue to see this type of behavior among my peers. Particularly in the work context, I have observed: exclusion, silence and denials of alternative aggression. Afterall, the workplace is the adult equivalent to the social environment in schools and rules of courtesy and professionalism often prevents or discourages direct confrontation. I recommend this book to everyone whether they are a parent, a spouse, a co-worker, or a friend to any girl or woman. The devastating effects of betrayal by a close friend has impact on adults as well as children. I agree with other reviewers that Simmons could have gone deeper in her analysis of the cases, but the framework she has set forth is well thought out and groundbreaking.
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Format: Hardcover
You know, I get so sick to death of scientists with their graphs, their figures, their boxes and numbers, because the majority of this research actually has very little real value.
Have you ever seen any of the questions they ask these young people in that research? They have to classify on how many isolated occasions they are bullied during a day, a week, a month and the answers to that are all put in graphs. Bullying is generally classified by types such as physical bullying, exclusion, namecalling and so on.
The problem with this method is that it assumes a whole number of things it should not assume! For a start, a lot of bullying does not happen in single isolated incidents but in an endless stream of small continual pinpricks, the sum of which cause a person unbelievable distress, but when a (young) person tries to explain what is going on they sound petty. "It was just a joke"
What about hate campains, where everything is under the surface, where one person gets bumped into twenty times a day, stepped on, 'actidentally' pushed down the stairs, 'accidentally' hit over the head with a bag several times a day by different people, every single time followed by a 'oops, sorry about that'? What about the systematic putting down of someone through a whole range of little things, but by a (so-called) close friend, something that would not even be classified as bullying by the victim, even though it can be very abusive? How would that fit into any of these neat little boxes?
The problem is that a lot of the bullying is so subtle that the victim is never quite sure whether they are imagining things and when they do stand up for themselves, they often get classed by teachers as a problem kid, rather than as a victim of harrassment by the rest of the group.
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Format: Hardcover
While Ms. Simmons says, "There is a hidden culture of girls' aggression in which bullying is epidemic, distinctive, and destructive," I must say that this is not new - as epidemic implies.
Girl bullying has been around as long as the industrial age has been around. And I believe that this continues throughout women's lives, if they continue to place societal and mother/daughter expectations before listening to their inner selves.

Girls and women put such a high price on their self-esteem, based upon pleasing their friends, that often, if they were to slow down, and truly think about what a friendship freely gives: A commitment to tell the other what you think, judge, feel, value, love, honor, hate, fear, desire, hope for, believe in, and are committed to - without reprisal, they would see that they have spent their lives making soul bribes, based upon unspoken rules about disowning yourselves.
Another interesting point is that girls and women often say that guys don't have true friends, because many guys based their friendships upon whether or not they do some activity, such as play golf together, from time to time. The complaint comes from the fact that these guys don't get into one another's psyche. And many wouldn't know if the other is having marital problems.
Women and girls spend so much time pushing boys and mean to process their emotions and say what they mean, when in fact, if we were to look at how females act amongst one another, without the boys around, we would have to admit that most women and girls spend an incredible amount of time walking on egg shells around one another. Yes. There is a great deal of bounding that goes on. But, when their is a problem, do we talk about it to the point that we fully process it, int the presence of our friends?
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