"This is a journal about what happened to us…. One night, Dad just died and that was that." Twins Allie and Amy were eight years old and their brother David was four when their beloved father died in his sleep. Encouraged and guided by their mother, the three children kept a journal for almost two years. They wrote about the night he died, the funeral, the first week, the first year, the cemetery, their thoughts and feelings, their sadness and grief—and the future. Later, they looked back on what they had written and added new reflections. They also wrote suggestions for other kids who have experienced a similar loss. We were all deeply moved when we read this book. You will be, too. And, like us, you’ll be amazed at the strength and wisdom of Amy, Allie, and David—real children whose lives were abruptly and forever changed, and who chose to share their pain and learning with others. Recommended for anyone who has lost a loved one or knows someone who has.
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From School Library Journal
Grade 3-7-When Amy and Allie were eight and David was four, their father died unexpectedly in his sleep. For the next two years, with their mother's help and encouragement, they kept journals about their reactions to their loss. The chapters are organized chronologically from the time they learned the news through their return to school and other activities. As time passed, the intervals between entries lengthened. At the end of each chapter, the children provide additional thoughts, as they look back five years later. Their love for their father and the closeness they continue to feel to him shine through the pages. Topics such as dealing with relatives and friends, visiting the cemetery, and having their mom date are incorporated into their observations. Their direct and honest comments reveal their own processes of grieving and their interactions with adults who are trying to help them while coping with the loss themselves. As such, the book is a valuable resource not only for children who have lost a parent but also for the adults who interact with them. Jill Krementz's How It Feels When a Parent Dies (Knopf, 1981) offers perspectives of 18 different children and young adults who each share their thoughts in a few pages; the Dennisons' reflections over time provide a different and complementary approach.
Kathy Piehl, Minnesota State University, Mankato
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Kathy Piehl, Minnesota State University, Mankato
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Customer Reviews
Most helpful customer reviews
By Jon Henshaw
Format:Paperback
Death of a loved one is always difficult. However, experiencing the death of a parent as a child is not only difficult, it can also be quite confusing. For most children, the idea of death is a surreal concept, often void of context and reality. Additionally, the manner in which most family and friends behave towards children (after they have lost their parent) can be equally as confusing.
Our Dad Died: The True Story of Three Kids Whose Lives Changed, approaches the death of a parent in a new way. Instead of advice from a noted expert, we get a story from three siblings who kept journals after their dad's death. This unique approach to teaching children about death is refreshing. Especially since it came from those who actually experienced it, instead of from experts who have only observed it.
The young writers invite the reader into their world. A world of hurt, anger, laughter, and annoyance. The book is written for both children and adults. Children will be able to relate to the style and content of their writing, while adults will quickly pick up on the undertones of their experiences. The three young writers take the reader from the beginning of their dad's death, onto his funeral and burial, and then through the two following years after his death. They also recap moments with their family, including a chapter dedicated solely to their grandparents.
David, one of the child authors, offers a glimpse of what it was like to go to his dad's funeral:
"It was hard to believe that Dad was in the coffin in the front of the chapel. The cover was closed so we couldn't see him. But I knew he was right there. I asked Mom if we could open it and just give him one last hug and kiss, but we couldn't. She said that his body didn't look the same without his soul, which was really the Dad part of him. His soul was already in heaven, and the body was empty and not Dad anymore. I wasn't sure about all that."
One of the best parts of the book, called "Looking Back," comes at the end of each chapter. Each one is written as an afterthought to the authors' original journal entries. They summarize and compare the events and feelings that ended up being really important, and also the ones that weren't. They also take the time to reassure young readers that their wide range of feelings and reactions are neither right or wrong, but are simply normal (under the circumstances).
Our Dad Died will help adults understand the minds and emotions of children who have lost a loved one, and will help children better grieve the loss of their parent.
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This book related the death of the children's father and their observations and experiences as they went through various scenarios during their grieving process. It was eye-opening to see how kids perceived different events, what their thoughts were about how adults treated them, different situations, etc. Throughout the book, the children keep a positive message that there are good times ahead, that one who suffers a loss is not alone, and that whatever one is feeling is okay. I thought this was excellent as a companion and helpful aid to other children suffering such a loss, as well as for all adults dealing with kids in this situation, either professionally or personally.
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Our Dad Died, is a powerful and sensitive look at the experiences of three children who lost their beloved Dad. It traces their feelings of grief, sadness and resentment as they go through the grieving process. It is written with clarity and thoughtfulness giving the reader a look into the minds and emotions of the children. This book is written by children and I can see it serving a great need in helping other children realize that they are not alone in experiencing this horrible situaton. I highly recommend this book to parents, teachers and grief counselors.
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