Paris [Import]

 

 

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When I first listened to this album, I wanted to turn it off immediately. It was such a waste of my time and life.

Paris' vocals are very airy and breathy and she doesn't exactly "sing." It's more like a breathy talk and it shows she has no talent. The lyrics are what you would expect from a rich, spoiled girl; boys, her body, friends and money. Her lyrics are very conceited and unless you like listening to people talk about themselves, this is the album for you. Her lyrics is what it is; Paris telling you she's better than you'll ever be.

If you have any dignity for "real" music, save yourself the time and brain cells. Go buy a CD made by a real artist who didn't rely on a producer to airbrush your "voice." Go buy albums by Metric, Broken Social Scene or The Beatles. Anything but this.

It's pretty hard to write objectively when the subject is one of the most infamous figures in modern pop culture. Then again, sometimes you need a little nastiness to be really truthful.

And in this case, the subject is one of the most justifiably mocked albums of the last few years has been Paris Hilton's "Paris," a light-as-air album full of lightweight club beats and processed vocals. Given that all she ever sings about is how hot she is, it's kind of like listening to a sex robot.

The most prominent single is "Stars Are Blind," which probably has the best melody on the album. Of course, that's because it also blatantly imitates the reggae beats of "The Tide is High," the pop song by the quintessential blonde pop star. Although it's nearly impossible to imagine Hilton singing that "I'm not the kinda girl."

The album hits its nadir early on, with the appalling hip-hop song "Fighting Over Me." Jadakiss does most of the vocals. Hilton only sings the bridge -- and a narcissistic one it is too: "Everytime I step out the house they want to fight over me/Maybe cause I'm hot to death and I'm so so so SEX-EE!" she squeals, sounding delighted.

Things only get worse with the wispy club beats of songs like "Turn It Up," the meandering "I Want You" and the lackluster heavy beats of "Nothing in This World." There's a dabble in guitar pop, still heavily synthesized, before the style switches back to lightweight club pop. Unsurprisingly, it wraps up with a breathy cover of "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy."

Basically, there's not much to recommend this album, except to people who will listen to anything with a techno beat. It's generic musically, not really memorable in any way -- but its quality is brought even lower by appallingly narcissistic lyrics and terrible vocals.

And it's undeniable that Hilton's voice is a terrible one. She sings in a Betty Boop voice, which has been processed until it sounds robotic. But no amount of computer tweaking can hide the fact that she has zero vocal range, and even gets a little off-key. When she's coos "other half of my heartbeat," you can hear that she's straining to hold the note.

Don't expect the "music" to cover up the multitude of sins in Paris's voice or the songs written for her. The lightweight techno is just a predictable series of electrobeats; I doubt this took more than ten minutes to whip up. It's fairly pleasant in terms of catchiness, but it's also completely forgettable and gets annoying if you listen to it more than once.

Listening to "Paris" is like listening to a self-important sex robot rhapsodizing about her wares. Even as bubblegum music, this is appallingly empty and derivative.

I haven't heard the whole thing yet... But The singles have been good. I think everyone would like the CD if Paris' name wasn't on it... So if you don't like Ms. Hilton as a person, just try and give her music a chance.

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1.0 out of 5 stars Why am I not surprised...
Well, this album goes to show that if you're daddy has lots of money you can get a record deal.

the ONLY reason why she came out with a cd, is because for some unknown... Read more

Published on Sep 10 2006 by Gimpster

4.0 out of 5 stars A Unique Blend Of Music!
This is Paris Hilton's first album titled PARIS. If you enjoy music for all occasions then this is for you. Read more

Published on Aug 27 2006 by so-miss-independent

4.0 out of 5 stars Paris - First crack at the Music World
This happens to be a very good release for Ms Hilton. She certainly has a style all of her own and brings some credibility to the tracks on her first issue. Read more

Published on Aug 23 2006 by Alan Stewart

4.0 out of 5 stars "THE HILTON GIRL !!!!"
I beleive Miss Hilton has found her calling and should stick to making more music & she doesn't sound like Blondie , she's got her own style and she should stick to that , I don't... Read more

Published on Aug 22 2006 by The Boy

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