- Paperback: 432 pages
- Publisher: Holt Paperbacks; 1 edition (May 15 1998)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0805058265
- ISBN-13: 978-0805058260
- Product Dimensions: 22.9 x 15 x 2.8 cm
- Shipping Weight: 499 g
- Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
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Amazon Bestsellers Rank:
#78,965 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #18 in Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Sexuality > Therapy
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Product Details |
Product Description
From Amazon
People joke that the start of a couple's marriage means the end of their sex life. David Schnarch, a sex therapist praised by Pepper Schwartz, uses epiphany-laden conversations taken directly from his own marriage and the married couples he sees in practice to help readers defy the myth that marriages are necessarily passionless, and instead prove that the longer a couple has been together, the higher the fireworks can fly. It's especially aimed at older couples who, Schnarch says, are self-actualized and therefore better able to handle intimacy than younger partners. "People have difficulty with intimacy because they're supposed to," he says, and goes on in this inspiring book to combine elements of marriage therapy and sex therapy to bring plenty of practical, fresh ideas to the crowd of mostly vapid relationship books. (Note that despite its title, it's for any emotionally committed couple, not just married folks.)
Schnarch says that a man is more likely to let a relationship suffer in order to hold on to his sense of self, while a woman is more apt to let her identity suffer to help strengthen it. Schnarch gives explicit tips on how to alter this pattern, an essential step he calls "differentiation." He also explains why compromise isn't always the best route to take when conflicts arise. The couples profiled here deal with the usual suspects: uneven sexual desire and initiation, battles about oral sex, self-image problems, the "boondoggle" of trust (both of one's self and one's partner), and the specter of divorce. Instead of focusing on each client's weaknesses, Schnarch teaches how to find inner strength and resilience that can be used to reaffirm a relationship and reignite sex. William H. Masters of Masters and Johnson fame calls this book "a classic," and no wonder. --Erica Jorgensen
From Library Journal
Living in a "dead" relationship? Want to make it more passionate? More intimate? More loving? Schnarch (Constructing the Sexual Crucible, Norton, 1991) takes the reader behind the scenes as couples describe similar feelings as well as their explicit sexual encounters during dramatic therapy sessions. The book is divided into three sections. The first section gives the reader a framework for understanding his or her existing relationship so that it can grow. The second section gives detailed instructions on ways to make sex better and more intimate. The last chapters show how sex and intimacy operate together in marriage. A potentially useful guide; recommended for larger well-circulating self-help collections.?Marty Dean Evensvold, Magnolia P.L., Tex.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
"We came here because we had a sexual problem, but you've helped us recognize it's something much larger." Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
"We came here because we had a sexual problem, but you've helped us recognize it's something much larger." Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
A good book devoted to couples and their sexuality.,
This review is from: Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships (Paperback)
If you are looking for a book that can help all couples, even those who aren't married, this book could be the one for you. I found a lot of insight and just plain, good, honest advice inside. The biggest thing is to know that it's up to BOTH parties to tend to the sexual realtionship when coupled. I wouldn't hesitate to recommned this one, along with another that helped me called "Good Sex" by Charlotte Kane.In essence: A good read, whether married, coupled or not.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent, inspiring and reassuring advice,
By
This review is from: Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships (Paperback)
My wife and I have been married for 7 years. We have had a great time together but gradually we started being colder and less anticipating. It was obvious that the things were going in a bad direction. I was reluctant to rely on a book but a friend of mine recommended me this one so I bought it. I completely agree that this is an excellent book!It provides a lot of information in a pleasant and easy to understand and apply way. My wife was also fascinated and eagerly read it. It helped us to turn our conflicts into a positive and constructive tool, which we use to improve several aspects of our marriage now. It is especially helpful for couples who have lost more or less their intimacy and are willing to put some efforts to get it back. Trust me it is well-worth the time, conversations and the satisfaction of knowing that tomorrow will be better than today. Dr. Schnarch's book also contains a chapter about better sex. It is quite explicit. I know from personal experience that mature men tend to develop serious problems such as premature ejac., (semi) impotence, etc which have very negative effect on a marriage. That's why in addition I highly recommend "Scientificlly guaranteed multi-orgasms and ultimate sex" by scientist Ritz, which helped me to overcome quickly my problems and started enjoying great pleasure in bed.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Life changing - but requires courage!,
By
This review is from: Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships (Paperback)
This book offers a truly profound look at the processes of marriage, and offers insight that will impact all your relationships, not just the one with your partner.Schnarch describes how reaching gridlock (feeling stuck) is a normal part of the marriage process - and does not mean that you are abnormal or your marriage is broken. He provides a roadmap for passing through gridlock by embracing intimacy... and it *does* require the courage to pass through the crucible. Applying Scharch's approach requires (and helps) you to find the courage to truly love. This book is a must read.
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