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Picture This [Hardcover]

Joseph Heller
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 1988
Picture this: Rembrandt is creating his famous painting of Aristotle contemplating the bust of Homer. As soon as he paints an ear on Aristotle, Aristotle can hear. When he paints an eye, Aristotle can see. And what Aristotle sees and hears and remembers from the ancient past to this very moment provides the foundation for this lighthearted, freewheeling jaunt through 2,500 years of Western Civilization.

Picture This is an incisive fantasy that digs deeply into our illusions and customs. Nobody but Joseph Heller could have thought of a novel like this one. Nobody but Heller could have executed it so brilliantly.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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From Publishers Weekly

In a radical departure, Heller has concocted a clever, strange piece of experimental historical fiction. As the novel begins, slovenly, debt-ridden Rembrandt van Rijn is painting his now-famous Aristotle Contemplating the Bust of Homer. Suddenly, we are whisked from 17th century Holland to ancient Greece, where an exiled, weary Aristotle clairvoyantly watches Rembrandt doing his portrait. Not much has changed, the philosopher concludes as he gazes down the centuries at our dawning modern era of greed, wars and capitalism run amok. Written in a flat, reportorial style, omniscient in viewpoint, the narrative confusingly and annoyingly jumpcuts in time and spacebetween and within epochs. The chapters on Athens, where Plato pontificates while Socrates berates the belligerent youth Alcibiades, are occasionally wickedly funny. Best read in short takes, this startling parable about the degeneration of art into commodity and the survival of human values in a materialistic world demands total suspension of disbelief. For willing readers, it casts an undeniable spell. First serial to Playboy; BOMC featured alternate.
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Less a novel than a discursive meditation on a theme, this work broods over the manifold implications of the Metropolitan Museum's possessing Rembrandt's Aristotle Contemplating the Bust of Homer. Juxtaposing the Periclean Age with the Golden Era of the Dutch Empire, and always aware of the quasi-imperialism of recent American history, Heller focuses and refocuses in different historical settings on the ambiguous incompatibilities of art and contemplation with the equally human drives of material lust, vanity, and ambition. The collapsed and degraded Athenian Empire, collapsed and degraded European imperialism, and our own post-1945 history of cold, tepid, and hot wars are brought into pathetic consonance. Sardonic, polemical, occasionally preachy and turgid, but to my mind Heller's most interesting book since Catch-22 . Earl Rovit, City Coll., CUNY
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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First Sentence
ARISTOTLE CONTEMPLATING the bust of Homer thought often of Socrates while Rembrandt dressed him with paint in a white Renaissance surplice and a medieval black robe and encased him in shadows. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars A vast disappointment Jan 21 2003
Format:Paperback
There are a lot of things I did expect when starting that "novel". A plot was one of them, some of the famous Heller wit another (this book really is unfunny, but keeps winking at you as if you're just a tiny little bit away from getting some cosmic joke it really is about). I didn't expect to be treated to a 326 page long variation of Larry King's obnoxious observations in USA Today, set in ancient Greece and Holland of the 16th/17th century. The chronology is totally mucked up, it seems not because of some artitistic reason, but because it was cobbled together without any sense of structure.

Finally, an author who seriously suggests that some of the dutch provinces are perhaps not even known to many INSIDE the Netherlands (hey Joe: this isn't the US you're writing about) doesn' instill too much confidence about getting his other facts right.

One of the few books in my life I didn't finish (maybe the second half is a LOT better).

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Format:Paperback
PICTURE THIS is a paradox -- a mammoth delight and a monstrous disappointment. It's a startlingly imaginative work in which Heller blends three disparate times in history. Aristotle awakens as Rembrandt applies paint to canvas. When Rembrandt paints his ear, Aristotle hears. As the brush perfects the eyes, Aristotle sees. And always, Aristotle observes.

Heller portrays life in mid-17th century Amsterdam and in the 3rd century before Christ, commenting on similarities to modern living, jumping back and forth between the ages, and tracing the 300-year history of the portrait. It's quite a mix, and that's where the book fails. He just doesn't pull it off.

The book reminds me of a game of checkers played without rules. It's an uncoordinated hopscotch through centuries, filled with distractions, tangents and irrelevant side trips. It's as though he tried to combine several books into one and missed.

Heller's books (CATCH-22, GOD KNOWS, etc.) are unique. Maybe he just tried too hard to be different. The text lacks discipline, organization and the feel for language we expect from master writers. Paragraphs are disjointed, sentences are clumsy and overburdened. Too often they just plain don't make any sense.

"The great seaport city of Amsterdam was then the richest and busiest shipping center in the world. The great seaport city of Amsterdam was not a seaport but is situated a good seventy miles from the closest deepwater shipping facilities in the North Sea." That's amateurish and sloppy. And typical.

Heller's mediocre, journalistic style (reminiscent of Kurt Vonnegut's) is inadequate for the job he has cut out for himself. The superb, sensitive and imaginative scholarship displayed in PICTURE THIS deserves organized, disciplined, and equally sensitive writing. It didn't get it.

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3.0 out of 5 stars A large work Aug 11 2001
Format:Paperback
PICTURE THIS is an enormous and sprawling work. I do not mean large in the word-count (though it's no slouch in this category) but in the scope. The back cover summary promises a "jaunt through 2,500 years of Western civilization" and it certainly delivers that. Unfortunately the result is a mixture of good and bad. At its best, it can be spellbinding, but at its worst it comes across as a fairly boring history lesson.

The book is vaguely centered around a piece of artwork that a Sicilian nobleman named Don Antonio Ruffo paid five hundred guilders for Rembrandt to produce. The painting is that of the Greek philosopher Aristotle contemplating a bust of the Greek poet and storyteller Homer. Using this foundation as a springboard, Joseph Heller jumps back and forth in time giving different perceptions on a number of different concepts. Money, power and art are just a few of the topics that Heller touches on and for the most part, as the expression goes, the more things change the more they stay the same. There are some memorable insights into the role that war, commerce, etc. have played in society.

On the other hand, PICTURE THIS does tend to get weighed down underneath its grandiose pretensions. While much of the book discusses the relation that history has to the concepts it contains, there are far too many passages that are just dry rehashes of historical documents. This is most apparent in the sections concerning the Greek philosophers where, at worst, the book spends several pages just rephrasing the events and philosophies that Plato described in APOLOGY, CRITO and THE REPUBLIC. Although these sections can be interesting (probably even more so to any readers who aren't already familiar with them) they are not always related to the rest of the story. For some of these sections, one would be better off reading the actual texts rather than just the summary of them included here.

The main sections of the book are split between long discussions about the wars of the ancient Greek world and numerous lectures upon the role of money/commerce in the Dutch society of Rembrandt's era. Some of it is extremely interesting. Some of it is stunningly dull. There are some very clever themes that run throughout the book such as the portrait of Aristotle being sentient and able to give a commentary on how different and similar life is in Rembrandt's time to that of his own. As readers in the beginning of the 21st Century, we can are also able reflect upon how their life is similar to ours. Heller is aware of this and lets the narrative play around with this idea, and while it isn't totally successful in every case, it's effective enough to be very powerful.

This book definitely has some gems contained within it. Just be warned that there is a lot of padding in between. While it's ultimately a rewarding experience, there are portions of it that are just tedious to read.

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