Pistol Whipped [Import]

With Pistol Whipped, Seagal has made an effort to make two good DTV's in a row with Urban Justice being the previous release, but he generally fails. Pistol Whipped is more of a thriller than an action film and as such is a little slow to get going. It also has the strongest cast that Seagal has worked with for some time. The unfortunate thing about this is that it glaringly shows up Seagal's inability as an actor.

When Seagal has confrontational dialogue or is in a scene with another actor that could lead to a physical confrontation, Seagal lights up the screen with the confidence he exudes as a martial arts expert which made him a star in his early films, he is truly believable as someone who could snap your neck in 2 seconds. When he has normal character dialogue to deliver in Pistol Whipped, it is flat, unemotional and boring to listen to. Seagal makes no choices as an actor as to how to convey any emotion in his lines, there is no life in his performance during these scenes. No one watches Seagal films for the acting but it is disappointing to have to watch someone do a job and see the look of complete disinterest in their face.

Seagal again beds a very young woman in Pistol Whipped and there is also some of the ego massaging dialogue that appears in many of these DTV's spoken to Seagal. I'm surprised the actress delivering the lines could keep a straight face, this occurs at a breakfast table after a night of supposedly hot passion with Seagal's character.

Overall, one positive thing that director Roel Reine has done is to pull the camera back during the choreographed fight scenes. There are several quick fight scenes throughout the movie and one longer choreographed fight in a bowling alley against multiple opponents that looked impressive considering the budget and time constrains of shooting choreographed scenes such as these in DTV's. The action set pieces are well staged and look professional, the car chase although of a higher quality and with more energy than the car chase in Urban Justice is still rather dull and again the rear projection scenes with Seagal supposedly driving the car during the chase scene are obviously just that, rear projected. The final shoot-out taking up the last 15 to 20 minutes of the film has Seagal as part of a 3 person team rather than a one man army as they go to the graveyard to take down the villain.

As for body doubles, I noticed only one scene with an obvious body double and that was a wide shot of Seagal's character walking on a roof top of a building to the exit door. Another possible body double shot occurs in the beginning with Seagal's character walking up some interior hotel lobby stairs. There is also an appearance by a body double during the shoot-out just before the car chase but it's not that noticable unless you are really making a point of looking for it. Other than that it looked to be all Seagal to me. Pistol Whipped also looks much more expensive than its budget which would be down to the cinematography and is probably the best looking DTV that Seagal as been in. If Seagal has any sense he should make a point of continuing to work with both directors Don LaFaunt and Reol Reine in the future.

To non Seagal fans who have a passing interest in seeing what Seagal is up to, I'd say it might be worth a rental. For hardcore Seagal fans, this is an above average Seagal outing.

Another great movie recommended by Sid the Elf!

Have been a fan of Steven Segal since he's been kicking but in the late 80's as slick Italian cop with attitude. This more recent movie takes a different direction with Segal's trademark attitude, and it surprisingly works.

First thing I noticed about this movie is that Segal looks awful! Looks like he's been in a real bad accident and had tons of reconstructive surgery on his face. But alas, this imitation of Elvis' famous I-Just-Died-On-The-Toilet bloated look is just time catching up with the actor. That and the frizzy hairpiece he's now wearing.

The movie itself is classic Segal: snapping arms, blurring punches, and a scowl that still scares. His most famous--if not most used line--of `Let me ask you something," is used more than 20 times in this movie. Count for yourself and see. We are also blessed with the guy most unlikely to bed a girl, as Segal snatches a girl from a bar. Putting on more than 50 pounds since his slimmer days, this gives us "average Joe's" hope for an unlikely future. And we also see Segal's tender side--a great change from the wife-beater we all know--as he tries to be a good father to his daughter, despite being a degenerate gambler who owes too many people too much money.

I was highly impressed with this movie, learning once again to trust Sid the Elf and their many reviews. Always a skeptic, I like to see for myself. Glad I did. Segal still has it, bloated-with-hairpiece or not!

Why was the title of this film Pistol Whipped? Is it because you feel like you were repetedly hit in the head with a heavy metal object when you are through watching the movie? Maybe. It certainly didn't have a lot to do with the movie itself. It could have been called Pistol Snatched because Segal did his move where he grabs a gun that's pointed directly at him and disables it. So, at this point, the use of a gun in a Segal movie means nothing. It actually is more advantageous to not be armed. Sure, right. This is the same film in which Segal-who seriously looks like a panda bear at this point-hooks up with a smoking hot chick and has an even smoking hotter ex-wife. The point is that you have to know going in that this movie makes no sense. Absolutely none whatsoever; so don't try to figure it out or you'll end up cross-eyed with a blistering headache. Just sit back and bask in Segal's warm, glowing warming glow.

Segal stars as Matt(no last name given at all how great is that?) who is a degenerate gambler who never won. He's also a fall down drunk who has ballooned to roughly 415 since his days as a rouge cop. See, Segal used to play rouge cops, now he's playing washed-up rouge cops. Just like he used to be a movie star, now he's a washed-up movie star. So, our main character spends his days drinking cheap whiskey right from the bottle and eating Manwich straight from the can. Frankly, Sid was not sure if this part of the film was scripted or if they just shot a day at Segal's house. Then the thought dawned on us: if it wasn't scripted, Segal wouldn't have had clothes on.

Stealing a page straight from the Death Wish 3 playbook, Segal was offered to have a favor done for him if he killed someone. So, in order to have his gambling debts wiped off the books, Segal had to kill the coach from He Got Game, who was playing a mafioso. He also set the all-time record for saying "honest to God" 328 times in his only scene in the film which lasted like 6 minutes. Good times. Obviously Segal kills him, but this time he did it fashionably. Segal meets up with the coach at a restaraunt, and clearly couldn't just take out the mobster without taking out his henchmen too. One of those henchmen got a fork through the hand. That's right, Death Ring style, baby! That's like an instant 3 stars anytime someone reminds Sid of the legendary Denton Vachs. Now the people who agreed to pay Matt the panda's debt don't let up and force Segal to kill more poeple. Shocker!

They want Segal to kill his ex-wife's new husband who is a cop. Supposedly, the guy is dirty, but we don't see that. We only see that he's great with Segal's daughter, including the touching scene when Segal can't spend the day with his daughter and the step-father berates Segal for being too drunk to hang out with the girl...again. Hilarious even if it wasn't the case (Segal was being forced to go on a hit assignment that day). But, then we see the stepdad kill the priest(don't ask, it's not important just know that stepdad is a baaad man). And, the movie wraps up with a showdown at the priest's funeral. It was Segal vs. the stapdad. Sid must say, this was one of the better shootouts in recent memory. Of course, Segal won. The cool part about the ending was Segal asked Stepdad, "Do you want to be buried or cremated?" before he killed him to which Stepdad answered, "Buried." Then, Segal blows him up and says, "You're cremated now, m'f'er!" Awesome!

We, Sid the Elf, know that it may seem like we were very negative about Pistol Whipped. No, it is not true. Pistol Whipped was the special kind of movie that the more things sucked about it, the better it was. If you know Sid, you understand. Anyway, this was completely due to the genius that is Steven Segal. The man stared in and produced this beauty. This saved the film because if Segal wasn't in charge of himself, he couldn't have talked like his illegitamate brother, Biggie Smalls, for the entire movie. He would have been ordered to redo his lines so you wouldn't have to turn subtitles on to watch the movie. He wouldn't have saved the production all that money on lights because any shot of Segal with his face in proper light would have made any viewer vomit. He didn't have to lose weight, as no other producer alive would have allowed him to be filmed boated and waddeling around the set. Like we said, we loved Pistol Whipped. It's the cinematic equivilent of drinking heavily. You're confused throughout, you might not remember much, you may well vomit, and afterwards you feel hungover. But, did you enjoy the experience? Absolutely. Would you do it again? For sure. So, on the word of us, Sid the Elf, get a fifth of Pistol Whipped and turn it up. It always goes down smooth.