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Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change [Paperback]

Adam Kahane
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Jan. 4 2010

War is no way to resolve our most problematic group, community, and societal issues, but neither is a peace that simply sweeps our problems under the rug.
To create lasting change we have to learn to work fluidly with two distinct, fundamental drives that are in tension: power—the single-minded desire to achieve one’s solitary purpose; and love—the drive towards unity.  They are seemingly contradictory but in fact complimentary. As Martin Luther King put it, “Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.” Using revealing stories from complex situations he has been involved in all over the world—the Middle East, South Africa, Europe, India, Guatemala, the Philippines, Australia, Canada and the United States—Kahane reveals how to dynamically balance these two forces. Just as when we are toddlers we learn to shift from one foot to the other to move ourselves forward, so we can learn to shift back and forth between power and love in order to move society forward.


Frequently Bought Together

Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change + Transformative Scenario Planning: Working Together to Change the Future + Solving Tough Problems: An Open Way of Talking, Listening, and Creating New Realities
Price For All Three: CDN$ 43.14


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Product Description

About the Author

Adam Kahane is a partner in Reos Partners, an international organisation dedicated to supporting and building capacity for innovative collective action in complex social systems, and a Visiting Practitioner at the University of Oxford and the University of Waterloo.


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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
The subject line of this review is one of my favorite quotes from the book. This is an excellent book - Kahane's wide ranging experiences present a fascinating view of approaching some of the world's toughest issues. Kahane is not afraid of pointing out where he did not experience success. It's great when folks don't shy away from the best places of learning. I recommend the book and read it fully through in a couple of sittings.

Also utilized the book to inform a post on my website: [...]
The post address is:
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars From a Generous Practitioner ... Dec 19 2012
Format:Paperback
This is the type of book that welcomes you in, and leads you along a heartfelt journey.

As the journey unfolds, it is very much as if the reader is standing next to Adam Kahane in many of his change labs. One can feel very close to the best kind of learning: by doing. The book seems to be written from the standpoint of love, and Adam is generous in his sharing of powerful experiences.

This is a learning tool for all practitioners leading groups through change processes.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A rare opportunity to get this insight Jan. 12 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Power and Love first stands out because it is so approachable. The writing is vulnerable and clear. How often do people share what went badly as well as what went well. I will not take my next set back as crushingly because I now have a more realistic sense of the negotiating world.

It is also much more interesting to learn from what was tried and didn't work as well as the successes. There is a wealth of new ideas here and it engages you with a voice of exploration that starts you imagining yourself in the same situation and what you might try. In this way the wisdom is embedded and useful. How many times have we read a book that was interesting but didn't stay with you? This book is in my heart.

I had one difference of opinion with Kahane around the separation of power and love. I think love is a power. There is power based on fear which is the ability to assert your will even against the will of others; and there is power rooted in love which is the ability to be all you can be and to want others to be all that they can be. I just read the book applying this concept and it was really powerful. I blogged it on archetypalleadership.me.

I would highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to develop their negotiation skills.
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Amazon.com: 4.6 out of 5 stars  33 reviews
22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and inspiring Dec 20 2009
By K. Hoeg - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I have one foot in the "love" communities (art of hosting, theory U, facilitators network etc), where I have noticed very good intentions and good processes, but quite few results. My other foot is in the power community (as a government official in a political department) where I witness many results but also questionable intentions and agendas.

I liked the first half of the book the most, where I was provided with some interesting viewpoints and a language to understand and differ from generative/degenerative power and same for love. The second half of the book is more confusing and less clear.

I am inspired by the concept of combining love and power in order to manage things in the most constructive ways and I believe most leaders and innovators can be in inspired by reading the book. However, I would personally like some more insights on how to choose love in the middle of a political system. I find it challenging and difficult to keep track of love when acting in a political system. I would enjoy reading more about that.

Overall I recommend the book to anybody seeking to understand how to manage and enable sustainable change.
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and relevant Jan. 31 2010
By J. Kwan - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
Having read and been inspired by Adam Kahane's previous book, Solving Tough Problems, I was eager to read Power and Love. What I found was a personal story, told in a highly readable way, in which I found lessons and insights which could be applied to both my work and my personal life.

The key message is that both Power (the drive for self-realisation) and Love (the need for unity) are necessary, and that there is an inherent dilemma between the two. Just like your two legs, they should be used in dynamic balance to be able to walk smoothly.

I really enjoyed the Falling, Stumbling and Walking chapters where Kahane highlights his theories through examples from both his work and personal life. I also appreciated that he was not shy in sharing his blind spots and mistakes so the reader can also learn from them.

I think Power and Love is a book that can be read several times with different mindsets - e.g. a quick entertaining read, a more reflective experience and also great for a book club / discussion group.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Practical Theory and a book with Power and Heart Jan. 19 2010
By M. Horowitz - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
"Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change" uses Adam Kahane's tremendous experience of designing dialogue processes and mediations in South Africa, Colombia, Guatemala, Israel and on several environmental issues as examples of the generative and degenerative uses of power and love. The book is both theoretical and at the same time extremely practical for anyone working in the fields of group facilitation, large-scale systems change, or mediation. The lengthy examples of his work with diverse stakeholders around contentious issues are riveting and instructive. He is quite transparent about his successes and failures, and also very self-disclosing about his own process in the journey of learning how to walk with both power and love. Because of this journey the book has a lot of power and a lot of heart. I recommend it highly.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars loved the book Sept. 5 2010
By dms - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I felt compelled to write after just completing the book. I am inspired and touched by his humanity and sharing of the humble, teachable moments and stories in his life. I couldn't put the book down. I loved the references and particularly enjoyed the mention of Paul Tillich. The quote "love is not the union of the strange, but the reunion of the estranged. Estrangement presupposes original oneness." was new for me and meaningful. The interweaving of love with power and power with love is compelling...we need to both love and take action, using our power for good.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Real tools - real change - review by Deborah Ravetz April 5 2010
By Deborah Ravetz - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I first heard Adam Kahane speak about, `Power and Love' over a year ago before he had written this his second book on the subject. The impact of what he said was so great that I immediately wrote about it and sent the article to two different journals connected with people trying to create community. To my amazement I was inundated with phone calls, emails and letters. People from all over the world responded with the same sentence:
Thank you for writing about this, I now understand what was always going wrong in our different attempts to work together.
Many of these people then went on to read Adam's first book on the subject. I would now like warmly to encourage you to read this his second. It is helpful in that it builds on the themes of the first book which are now enlarged upon and deepened through the author being able to reflect on what he himself has learned in his earlier attempts to become literate in both love and power.
The issue of being able to be both an individual and to work with other people in such a way that a task is done without sacrificing selfhood is a pressing one. When a group of people are both self-realized and willing to put who they are at the service of something that they all recognize as important they experience not only the joy of community; they are also effective way beyond their ordinary expectations. Furthermore what they do together is rich and original, what the designer William McDonough calls, `piquant'. Goethe said that we develop our character in the full flow of life and we develop our gifts alone. This is interesting in connection with the theme of this book because in many professions and in many social situations the issue of character is subsumed by the agenda of the social group or organization. People find themselves saying `I am just doing my job' at best keeping their conscience at home in the private sphere. The issue of developing our gifts, on the other hand, is often just completely ignored, mostly because people feel that they need to make a living and would never be able to do that with something they simply loved. They feel that unless their gift is good enough to put them among the great people, remembered by history, it shouldn't be given priority. This division of ourselves and this neglect of what we love, in art or play, leads to a lack of congruence between our inner and outer values. It is important to be able to act from the base line of our conscience wherever we are and it is important to be creative, to play, not because what we make will be great but because making it helps us to remain in touch with the vital wellspring of our inner selves. Every attempt we make to work together will need this kind of whole self, a self who wishes to manifest its potential, to be aware of and even in service of the community and to maintain health and strength to live in a sustainable way. It is these possibilities that this book addresses.
What is meant by power and love is explored at the hand of Paul Tillich and Martin Luther King and through the author's own attempts to become literate in both. Using stories and concepts, describing success and failures, he makes these two aspects of our humanity accessible and therefore applicable to our own experience and situations.
Two other aspects of life are discussed. They are in my view as important as the issue of power and love. The first is the role of the peacemaker in creating toxic groups. The peacemaker as described here could probably be called a degenerate peacemaker. This is the person who will not allow risks and closes down processes and prevents transformation. This kind of peacemaking, rather than helping, reinforces the status quo and its abuses, often allowing the innovative and original members of the group to be frustrated in manifesting their essential contribution. For me this is one of the most essential chapters of the book because this aspect of community and group disruption has a huge impact both in the smallest group such as a family or a group of friends and in wider communities of every sort. The problem of power becoming abusive is something most of us are familiar with. The misuse of peacemaking causes just as much havoc. It was through Adam that I first heard this described though I had experienced it time and time again. For this I cannot thank him enough.
Most people will never become visible in the history of the world. They may live in places far away from the news headlines or the front line of political or commercial power. The feeling of powerlessness and insignificance is probably one of the primary reasons why people choose to numb themselves rather than to awaken their thinking and find ways of living that challenge the status quo. This is why I was also so touched by Adam's exploration of the effect that an individual can have on the world through how they change themselves. Adam speaks about the moment of liberation where the human being finds the place of freedom in changing themselves and how it is exactly this first step that prepares the ground for all the work we may do either on our own projects or in our ability to accommodate and understand each other.
We are often filled with idealism at the beginning of an endeavor. Taking that idealism on through disappointment and failure is one of the greatest tests we can face. On a personal and a political level human beings need tools both for learning to work together and for finding the courage to endure and try again while learning from our mistakes. This book provides the analysis of many of our mistakes. This analysis has the potential to liberate us from constantly repeating them. Adam's description of the nature of love and power and of the role of individual self-transformation gives us tools for real communication and for finding the still point where we would be able to sense the emergence of a creative future.
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