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Product Description
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
Book Description
What is infidelity? Read the first page
Concordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Forgiveness Is Not Only Devine...,
By Paul Montano (San Francisco Bay Area) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Private Lies (Hardcover)
I couldn't help but respond after reading the response "This book cheats you too". The book is insightful from the perspective of a professional therapist. If someone just wants to hold fast to their "standards" and use that as a reason to remain hurt and angry that is their choice. On the other hand, if someone wants to heal the wounds of betrayal and salvage their marriage forgiveness it paramount. Of course we should be able to expect mature, honest behavior from the person we share our lives with. However, once the sanctity of our vows have been violated we have a choice to make. Do we want to salvage our marriage or dissolve it over the violation? If we chose to salvage it forgiveness is necessary to love our spouse again. The bitterness of unforgiveness will fester within and ultimately shatter that marriage. I am not saying that forgiving is easy, far from it. But it is necessary if the relationship is ever going to be renewed. Without forgiveness the one betrayed carries the hurt and pain of that betrayal forever. That alone is enough to overburden them and keep them in a state of emotional angst where reconciliation cannot occur. Do you really need a book to help you decide whether the relationship is worth saving? There is a tremendous amount of great advice in this book for those who have chosen to heal their relationship. If you are committed to salvaging your marriage and healing those broken pieces this is the book to read.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
This book cheats you too!,
By A Customer
This review is from: Private Lies (Paperback)
If you want to know how to be a doormat and feel like crap, then this is he book for you! It is a handbook for victims, but with very little real information. The author takes the stance that if you cannot forgive infidelity in your spouse, then you are a controllling, uptight "perfectionist" who is too rigid to have a loving relationship. Are we not allowed to have standards? Are we not allowed to expect mature, honest behavior from the person we share our lives with? I did not understand or appreciate the author's value judgement.Also, there is nothing in here. Because he's a therapist, I guess he thought he could make some money by recounting endlessly his patients' stories. He tells you what happened and what "category" or affair each case fits into. But who cares! If you are reading this book chances are you know the "what happened" side of the story all too well. What you need is how to decide whether the relationship is worth saving, and how to heal yourself after that decision. Language like "sexual accident" and "bad little boys" belittles the situation and the victims of these serious trespasses. Trite advice like "Do not marry a man who hates women," obviously does nothing to shed new light on the subject either. If you are a "rigid perfectionist" like me who chooses not to live with deception, then all you need is faith in yourself and not this silly little book.
4.0 out of 5 stars
Intelligently written book makes it easy to see the light,
By Female , age 45 (Miami, Fl United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Private Lies (Paperback)
I read this book after being involved in a "successful" affair for 14 years...spanning through 2 marriages even...I totally agree with the author's viewpoint that the saddest effect of infidelity is the "betrayal of intimacy"... each party remains wounded for life... unless they face up to the truth, reveal it.. seek forgiveness and go on....
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