Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Have one to sell?
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) Hardcover – May 18 1999


See all 5 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition
"Please retry"
Hardcover
"Please retry"
CDN$ 31.03 CDN$ 0.30

2014 Books Gift Guide for Children & Teens
Browse our featured books to find gift ideas for the boys or girls on your holiday shopping list this year!

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought



Product Details

  • Hardcover: 352 pages
  • Publisher: The Dial Press; 1 edition (May 18 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385333099
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385333092
  • Product Dimensions: 3.2 x 16.5 x 24.8 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 635 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (86 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #532,192 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

From Amazon

Be warned: In many ways this is a terrifying book. It deals with a subject--violence against children--that most of us never want to consider. But, as Gavin de Becker stresses, such situations, though rare, can occur, so all parents must deal with the facts in order to protect their children properly. De Becker's aim is to create awareness of potential dangers and provide parents with the knowledge necessary for prevention and control. As he emphatically states in Protecting the Gift, much of this knowledge is already hard-wired in the form of intuition: "This natural ability is deep, brilliant, powerful. Nature's greatest accomplishment, the human brain, is stunningly efficient when its host is at risk, but when one's child is at risk, it moves to a whole new level, one we can justifiably call miraculous." The trick, he stresses, is trusting and acting on intuition.

In this valuable, even necessary, book, he shatters many myths about the typical profiles of regular offenders and the prevalence of such problems as sexual abuse and kidnapping. He also deconstructs the wisdom of traditional maxims such as "Never talk to strangers" and "If you are ever lost, go to a policeman." Without offering a compendium of every conceivable danger, he identifies warning signals and real risks that are often easy to spot once you know what to look for. He offers practical advice on recognizing signs of sexual abuse, choosing a baby sitter or nanny, how to prepare kids for walking to school alone, and how to teach children about potential risks without making them afraid to venture out of the house. And he continually stresses that denial and ignoring intuition are the biggest mistakes that parents make in protecting their kids from those that mean them harm. Well written and infinitely informative, Protecting the Gift affords parents more confidence and less reason for unnecessary worry. --Shawn Carkonen

From Publishers Weekly

Dostoyevski said that child abuse is evil because it destroys a childs faith in the goodness of God. In this painstakingly practical yet impassioned guide, de Becker, author of last years bestselling The Gift of Fear, demonstrates that a child who was himself abused can grow up to be a vigilant protector of the gift of childrens innate faith in the goodness of life. Writing with a precision honed from his long experience as a security expert predicting violence in order to protect high-profile clients, and with a depth born of his own childhood understanding of how it feels to be hurt by the adult you love, de Becker describes how we can keep our children safe. Although he devotes separate chapters to the special threats facing children and teens, females and males (the murderous romance of boys and guns is covered), his basic message is encapsulated in 12 steps. Echoing his previous book, the first step involves teaching children to honor their feelingsspecifically, the intuition that makes them fear certain people. Children also need a parents permission to be assertive, to defy adults, to yell and fully resist. Throughout, de Becker stresses a childs need to trust that a parent will be open to listen about any experience, no matter how unpleasant. He opens and concludes with tales of ordinary mothers who overcame their doubts and inhibitions to experience a brilliantly intuitive wild brain as they fought off attackers to protect their children. De Becker offers a guide to fostering this fierce intelligence in our kids, ourselves and our society. Everyone in contact with children should read this important book. It can help save lives. BOMC, QPB and Childrens BOMC featured alternates; first serial to USA Weekend; second serial to Good Housekeeping; author tour.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars

Most helpful customer reviews

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 10 1999
Format: Audio Cassette
I am a big fan of Gavin De Becker. I found "The Gift of Fear" helpful, intelligent and, often, frighteningly insightful. I have recommended it many times. That said, I am sad to report that I think it extremely misleading to present "Protecting The Gift" as a new book. Anecdotes aren't just warmed over, they're served up word for word. Whole chunks of chapters are identical to the first book, with only subjects changed to refer to parents and children rather than to adults. I rushed to buy this book and my advice is, if you have the first one, don't bother. As honorable as De Becker's mission seems to be, I'd say his editor and publisher are responsible for a pretty major consumer rip-off. Only the appendices seem new
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Gregory Whyte on May 24 2008
Format: Paperback
I think that everyone who has children or works with children should read this informative, interesting, book that provides very thought provoking questions and information that will assist you in keeping your children safe. There were things written in this book that I never would have thought about when considering my childrens safety. I have recommended this book to anyone I come in contact with who has children or works with them! Gavin De Becker is incredible!
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Kelly on Dec 10 2003
Format: Paperback
Gavin De Becker has compiled a very thorough, interesting, readable, and *essential* guide to keeping children safe in our world. While there are parts of this book that may be unpleasant to read [nobody likes to read about bad things happening to children], it will instruct and prepare parents to keep their children out of harm's reach. I found the book very empowering and have already implemented many of his suggestions. This book also reduces fear in the sense that it helps parents seperate common yet improbable fears [child abduction by strangers] from the very real fears that they may be turning a blind eye to [like molestation by a family member]. It helps parents understand what they need to do to prevent this kind of tragedy and yet also helps them seperate 'media hype' from reality. I am extremely glad to have found this book and read it and I feel that my children are far safer because of it. If every parent would read this book our world would be a much safer place for children!
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By C. Stephans on Nov. 13 2003
Format: Paperback
While expecting our first baby and then as new parents, my wife and I received loads of excellent advice from friends and family regarding childbirth, doctors, baby-care, day-care, formula brands, etc. Last week, as a father with 8 weeks of experience in parenting, I had my first opportunity to offer advice to an expectant parent. I suggested she visit two day care centers I had liked, visit the pediatrician my wife and I chose, and read Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker.
Gavin de Becker makes his living predicting and preventing violent behavior. His firm provides security and consultation to celebrities, athletes, world leaders, the CIA, U. S. Supreme Court and other security organizations around the world.
In Protecting the Gift, de Becker introduces parents to startling statistics revealing the violent reality of our culture: one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually molested by the time they reach adulthood; 90 percent of sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows; the most common age that sexual abuse begins is when the child is three years old. Most parents live with a mindset that denies or ignores this reality. But as de Becker shows in his book, our children are living in this reality everyday.
De Becker's purpose in this book is two-fold: 1) to hit parents in the face with the real dangers awaiting children, and 2) to teach parents how to avoid fruitless worry and to take meaningful steps to protect children. On both points, de Becker succeeds.
Parents are raising children during an age when an FBI child-pornography sting indicts teachers, coaches, pastors and judges. It is an age of guns and date-rape drugs.
Read more ›
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again.
Format: Hardcover
Gavin De Becker uses his experience, statistics, and extensive research to develop a method for keeping children safe. His method contradicts accepted wisdom in some areas, but he backs up his method with statistics.
For example, most children are told to find a police officer when they are lost. De Becker recommends instructing children to find someone who looks like a mommy instead. His reasoning is that most children can't tell the difference between a police officer and anyone else in an official looking uniform. Most of the time, a child will pick a man when looking for a police officer. A man is much more likely to harm a child than a woman is. By instructing a child to find someone who looks like a mommy, you are directing your child to find someone who is statistically the least likely to harm them and the most likely to help them.
In addition, De Becker exposes who is most likely to harm a child, and it isn't who the media leads you to think.
I can't say enough about this book. I plan to give it to all my daughter's teachers. I also plan to lobby for safety education based on the concepts in this book rather than traditional "stranger danger" concepts.
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again.

Most recent customer reviews



Feedback