Pure Desire [Paperback]

In addition to reading the book, I attended Dr. Roberts' three-day Pure Desire Seminar, which is intended for pastors who want to start a ministry for sexual addicts in their own churches. During the seminar, I (and others) directly questioned Dr. Roberts and his staff about their methods, theology, etc. Their answers backed up what I read in the book, and my interaction with them showed me their genuine desire to see people healed from the bondage of sexual addiction. Finally, I visited one of their For Men Only (FMO) sexual addiction healing groups as part of my seminary internship, and I found it so helpful for my own struggles that I have stayed with it for almost nine months and counting.

Basically, I have found the methods and ideas presented in the book to actually work in real life. For example, one of the main healing strategies Dr. Roberts advocates is to become part of a small group where men can "confess [their] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that [they] may be healed (James 4:7)." I have seen a number of men go through the FMO group I attend, and there seem to be two types. First, there are the ones who know they have a problem (usually because they have gotten into trouble due to their addiction), but are not really ready to deal with it. These men tend to stay for awhile, and then leave the group to go back to their addiction. Second, there are the ones who have truly hit bottom and are willing to persevere on the long road to healing. It is these men who are honest with their struggles, and therefore they avoid such traps as rationalizing and compartmentalizing their addiction. Sure, we all take turns with discouragement and despair, and lapses do occur. But when others are there to lovingly bear the burden and provide accountability, it helps us get through the valley and go back up the mountainside. Of all the small groups I've been in over the years, this one has by far been the best for my own personal healing. Therefore, I can vouch firsthand for Dr. Roberts' exhortation to avoid the trap of isolation (which makes it easy to act out) by becoming part of a healthy group situation.

I believe that the central theme of Pure Desire is the restoration of healthy, loving, and holy relationships with God, self, and others. Sexual addiction is a symptom of a deeper relational problem. It is a sinful solution to a real desire for intimacy on the part of the addict. Pure Desire presents a way out of this trap that really works if you want to follow it. No, its not easy or quick, because true healing in this area takes time. And to be honest, it can be difficult to find help for this issue due to the closed-minded attitude of some churches toward sexual issues and problems. But it is possible, because I have found Christians willing to help, and over time I have observed healing gradually taking place in myself and others. If you are struggling with sexual addiction, you need to read this book (and others like it) and get help. You can pay now by owing up to your problem and getting on the road to healing, or you can pay later with your marriage, your reputation, or even your life. The path you choose is up to you.

In addition to reading the book, I attended Dr. Roberts' three-day Pure Desire Seminar, which is intended for pastors who want to start a ministry for sexual addicts in their own churches. During the seminar, I (and others) directly questioned Dr. Roberts and his staff about their methods, theology, etc. Their answers backed up what I read in the book, and my interaction with them showed me their genuine desire to see people healed from the bondage of sexual addiction. Finally, I visited one of their For Men Only (FMO) sexual addiction healing groups as part of my seminary internship, and I found it so helpful for my own struggles that I have stayed with it for almost nine months and counting.

Basically, I have found the methods and ideas presented in the book to actually work in real life. For example, one of the main healing strategies Dr. Roberts advocates is to become part of a small group where men can "confess [their] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that [they] may be healed (James 4:7)." I have seen a number of men go through the FMO group I attend, and there seem to be two types. First, there are the ones who know they have a problem (usually because they have gotten into trouble due to their addiction), but are not really ready to deal with it. These men tend to stay for awhile, and then leave the group to go back to their addiction. Second, there are the ones who have truly hit bottom and are willing to persevere on the long road to healing. It is these men who are honest with their struggles, and therefore they avoid such traps as rationalizing and compartmentalizing their addiction. Sure, we all take turns with discouragement and despair, and lapses do occur. But when others are there to lovingly bear the burden and provide accountability, it helps us get through the valley and go back up the mountainside. Of all the small groups I've been in over the years, this one has by far been the best for my own personal healing. Therefore, I can vouch firsthand for Dr. Roberts' exhortation to avoid the trap of isolation (which makes it easy to act out) by becoming part of a healthy group situation.

I believe that the central theme of Pure Desire is the restoration of healthy, loving, and holy relationships with God, self, and others. Sexual addiction is a symptom of a deeper relational problem. It is a sinful solution to a real desire for intimacy on the part of the addict. Pure Desire presents a way out of this trap that works if you really want to follow it. No, its not easy or quick, because true healing in this area takes time. And to be honest, it can be difficult to find help for this issue due to the closed-minded attitude of some churches toward sexual issues and problems. But it is possible, because I have found Christians willing to help, and over time I have observed healing gradually taking place in myself and others. If you are struggling with sexual addiction, you need to read this book (and others like it) and get help. You can pay now by owing up to your problem and getting on the road to healing, or you can pay later with your marriage, your reputation, or even your life. It's up to you, man.