Okay, we open with this brother American army dude telling these Russain soldiers what their mission is: capture (not kill) a huge python that somehow got thrown out of a plane and landed in Russia? Then we have this big fight scene where we hardly ever see the snake; unfortunately, with the major supporting cast being Russian or something, we can't hardly ever understand what they are saying. Then, when they load the snake onto a plane, some Russian rebels for no apparent reason shoot the plane down and the snake ends up in a Russian laboratory. Next we meet Dana Ashbrook as an American ex-baseball player who is now running a transport service with his Russian wife. They meet the irrepressible William Zabka as some kind of American dude who hires them to transport something (obviously the snake)...from here on, it's simply a matter of chasing and dodging the snake(s)---where did the other one come from! Whew!
Here's the bottom line:
STORY: Miserably constructed; the ex-baseball player obviously hit somebody so hard with one of his pitches that he is now paralyzed? Oh, boy! Score: 0
CAST: Poor William Zabka. This guy has played bad since his debut in KARATE KID, and it's a shame. He has a tough guy, yet boyish good looks, but he always plays the butthole. Let's give him a movie where he is the hero for a change. Dana Ashbrook of FALCON CREST has always been one of those actors who manages to constantly annoy me; his scene where he throws the bomb into the snake's mouth is one of the funniest scenes I've witnessed in a horror movie; come on! The rest of the cast is Russian, so who knows if they were any good or not. SCORE: 2 (for Zabka only).
TECHNICAL: Poor, to say the least.
DIRECTION: What? Did somebody helm this movie? SCORE: 0