This one is certainly the best self-help book that I've encountered in my search for help. I've read some of the supportive reviews, and I agree with the praises. This book has been helpful for me, and I did manage to raise my self-esteem quite a bit, hence the 5 stars. However, instead of doing some more praising, I thought a word of advice is in place for those considering buying this book. I'm writing this for people who seek self-help books because they feel like they really NEED help.
In seeking help of the kind this book is offering, it's helpful to understand the limitations of self-help books in general. If you can afford therapy, then I strongly recommend that you seek therapy. An interesting question for you to ask yourself might be - if I need help, why must it be SELF-help? If the answer isn't money, I'd advise you to rethink it.
I've worked with this great book for over a year, and I have been to therapy for several months. My impression is that there are improvements that are MUCH HARDER to achieve on your own. I think some of the reasons for me were:
- As I worked on my own, my defense mechanisms were trying to make it easy for me, by dealing with problems that were relatively easy for me to deal with. For instance, it was easier for me to deal with my problems in my relashionships with my friends, so I avoided my relashionships with members of my family. Naturally, the latter have significantly more effect on me.
- A self-help book tries to help as many people as possible, therefore describing many different problems that people have. Another defense mechanism would make me adopt problems which I don't have, as it is much easier to deal with problems that you do not have. A therapist can help you filter these out.
- Finally, any amount of words written in a book could not have the effect for me of the nurturing relationship with a human being, that seems empathetic to my problems, is dedicated, and accompanies me on this very difficult, painful and frightening quest for happiness.
If you do decide to buy this book, be prepared for a long rewarding journey, with ups and downs, pain, anger and tough decisions to make.
The two things I liked most about this book: First, it helped me feel good enough about myself to be able to seek help, to share my problems with a therapist, and gave me hope (by proving it) that good may come out of it. The second, it is honest. As opposed to the many "Suddenly it's all so simple and easy..." self-help books, it prepares you for hard work, and does not pretend to have some voodoo technique of helping you. Thanks
