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In Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, psychology professor John Gottman explores the emotional relationship between parents and children. It's not enough to simply reject an authoritarian model of parenting, Gottman says. A parent needs to be concerned with the quality of emotional interactions. Gottman, author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and coauthor Joan Declaire focus first on the parent (a "know thyself" approach), and provide a series of exercises to assess parenting styles and emotional self-awareness. The authors identify a five-step "emotion coaching" process to help teach children how to recognize and address their feelings, which includes becoming aware of the child's emotions; recognizing that dealing with these emotions is an opportunity for intimacy; listening empathetically; helping the child label emotions; setting limits; and problem-solving. Chapters on divorce, fathering, and age-based differences in emotional development help make Gottman's teachings detailed and useful. --Ericka Lutz
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Common Boundary A significant gift to parents and children.
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DIANE IS ALREADY LATE FOR WORK AS SHE TRIES TO COAX three-year-old Joshua into his jacket so she can take him to daycare. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
DIANE IS ALREADY LATE FOR WORK AS SHE TRIES TO COAX three-year-old Joshua into his jacket so she can take him to daycare. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
One of the best parenting books!,
By
This review is from: Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child (Paperback)
You can find a lot of books about parenting, but many of them are just pop psychology, the solitary opinion of the author.Gottman is definitely not one of them. He is known as one of the leading psychologists in the area of family and marriage psychology. This book presents the essence of his research findings about raising emotionally intelligent children. His advise is surprisingly easy and is based on a 5 step model: 1. Be aware of your child's emotion 2. See your child's emotions as an opportunity to be close together 3. Actively listen to your child and validate the feelings 4. Help your child to verbalize his feelings 5. Help your child solve problems, while setting clear limits Gottman clearly explains how you can implement this 5-step-model in daily life and what to do when problems arise. His real life examples make reading really fun.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Finally, advice that will help your child, not just shut them out,
By Jenn Abe (Toronto, Ontario) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child (Paperback)
I was overwhelmed. I had what I thought was a way to frequently angry 4yr old child. Oh yeah, not to mention the little twin brothers that were demanding almost all of my attention. I used to say, as long as my daughter was in a helpful/good mood I can manage. I don't feel that way anymore. After employing the techniques in this book and understanding where my focus should be, I've managed to feel like I can be a more effective parent. I wasn't satisfied with the typical advice, "put her in her room when she's yelling mad". I always felt like it was my job to help her find appropriate ways to express her feelings. Putting her in her room just made her more upset. The book emphasizes the importance of expressing anger and sadness, and that it is our job to "coach our children through these negative emotions". I highly recommend this book to other parents that want to help their kids learn to manage their emotions (and help themselves along the way). I've recommended this to all my mommy friends.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent parenting book,
By Greg Bishop, Ph.D. (Lake Oswego, OR USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child (Paperback)
I am a child/family psychologist and don't like most parenting books for my clients because they present theories as facts without the research behind it. This is one of 3 books that I recommend because it is well-researched yet easy to read and comprehend. Gottman's work in the field of psychology is highly respected, and the research from which this book emanates is thorough and rigorous. Yet his format in the book is such that you can immediately begin to apply his "emotion-coaching" technique. If you are having difficulty coping with your child's emotional outbursts, read this book!
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