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Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher's groundbreaking book, exposed the toxic environment faced by adolescent girls in our society. Now, from the same publisher, comes Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, which does the same for adolescent boys. Boys suffer from a too-narrow definition of masculinity, the authors assert as they expose and discuss the relationship between vulnerability and developing sexuality, the "culture of cruelty" boys live in, the "tyranny of toughness," the disadvantages of being a boy in elementary school, how boys' emotional lives are squelched, and what we, as a society, can do about all this without turning "boys into girls." "Our premise is that boys will be better off if boys are better understood--and if they are encouraged to become more emotionally literate," the authors assert. As a tool for change, Kindlon and Thompsom present the well-developed "What Boys Need," seven points that reach far beyond the ordinary psychobabble checklist and slogan list. Kindlon (researcher and psychology professor at Harvard and practicing psychotherapist specializing in boys) and Thompson (child psychologist, workshop leader, and staff psychologist of an all-boys school) have created a chilling portrait of male adolescence in America. Through personal stories and theoretical discussion, this well-needed book plumbs the well of sadness, anger, and fear in America's teenage sons. --Ericka Lutz
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
A genuine enthusiasm for their subject shines through the pages of this enormously compelling book, as the authors share insights on boys' emotional development from birth through the college yearsAan increasingly high-profile topic in the wake of disheartening statistics about adolescent suicide and violence. In much the same way that Reviving Ophelia offered new models for raising girls, therapists Kindlon and Thompson argue that boys desperately need a new standard of "emotional literacy," showing how our culture's dominant masculine stereotypes shortchange boys and lead them toward emotional isolation. The authors turn a spotlight on the inner lives of boys, debunking preconceptions about gender, explaining the importance of nurturing communication skills and empathy in boys as well as girls, and steering boys toward a manhood of emotional attachment, not stoicism and solitude. They also challenge the ways in which, in their view, traditional school environments put boys at a disadvantage (why not hold off on reading instruction a year or two? they ask; why not five short recesses a day?). Such issues as drinking, drugs and the "culture of cruelty" among adolescents, in which "anything a boy says or does can and will be used against him," also meet with sensitive treatment. Separate chapters examine the relationships between fathers and sons and mothers and sons, and show how these can be protected and redefined. This thoughtful book is recommended for parents, teachers or anyone with a vested interest in raising happy, healthy, emotionally whole young men. Agent, Gail Ross of Lichtman, Trister, Singer and Ross.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Luke, thirteen, pauses at the office door, undecided whether to take his baseball cap off or leave it alone; he pulls it off and steps into the room-the school psychologist's office. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
Luke, thirteen, pauses at the office door, undecided whether to take his baseball cap off or leave it alone; he pulls it off and steps into the room-the school psychologist's office. Read the first page
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Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
We already get it.,
By Elle (Toronto) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (Paperback)
By now I think most parents are aware that the minds of boys and girls are different and while it is good to know exactly how and why this can cause trouble if not properly understood, I'm already past that point and want to get more into proactive strategies to prevent possible trouble from arising, and/or correct minor problems already present before they get out of hand.These authors have both worked with troubled youth and this book is basically a collection of stories of lost boys and what went wrong. I think most of us have already seen and heard enough of these stories, it's almost an epidemic in our society. So what do we do about it? I couldn't get connected to this book. The writing style wasn't engaging enough and the authors weren't able to keep my interest even though I'm a very avid reader. Too much fill, not enough meat. The actual information provided in between all the fill was somewhat interesting though I found the majority of the book focused on the problems and there was very little information on active solutions. If you want to understand a bit more about the minds of boys this is a decent read if you can get through it, it's a bit trying though. However, I'd recommend "Raising Boys" by Steve Biddulph for a much better read on the same topic. A lot less psycho babble, gets straight to the point, less examples of what happens when things go wrong, and more suggestions on how to prevent the trouble to begin with. At the very least, get "Raising Boys" as an accompanying read to this book.
5.0 out of 5 stars
Awesome,
By A Customer
This review is from: Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (Paperback)
An absolute must-read for ALL parents of both boys AND girls. Being a feminist, I had to keep reminding myself that when we take care of our boys we also take care of our girls. It has transformed the ways I look at my son and also my husband and other men in my life.Along with Reviving Ophelia it should be mandatory reading for all parents!(...)
5.0 out of 5 stars
Invaluable insight about boys (and subsequently men),
By DingleDave (PA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (Paperback)
Raising Cain is a powerful and enlightening book co-authored by two prominent child psychologists who set out to comprehensively explore the way boys suffer and what causes them emotional pain. Not surprisingly, the book is written for parents of boys as well as teachers, but it also has overwhelming relevance for anyone who desires to understand why many boys act the way they do-and what we can do to help them with their emotional struggles. The salient issue interlaced throughout the book is the need for boys to obtain an emotional vocabulary and emotional literacy that affords them the capability to read and understand their own emotions, as well as others. Thompson and Kindlon repeatedly point out that not only are many boys never encouraged to be emotional, but also, they are taught to suppress such feelings by a culture that expects them to be "manly". It is difficult to argue with that observation. The "emotional miseducation" of boys begins early, at home and in the classroom, and there is a need to provide the proper "emotional steering" for boys so that they understand that expressing emotion is indeed normal and okay to do. Among the various solutions Thompson and Kindlon suggest to help boys develop strong, flexible, emotional lives is to give them permission to have an internal life, full of unbridled emotion. We need to help them to develop and to obtain an emotional vocabulary to better understand themselves and to communicate more effectively with others. Ultimately, we need to let boys know that there are numerous ways to "be a man". Raising Cain is an extremely rich work, full of poignant case studies and examples of boys today that evoked memories-some sad and regretful-of my own adolescence. As a parent of two young boys and an aspiring middle school teacher, this book will be referred to again and again as various developmental issues surface in the boys that I encounter. It is an invaluable reminder of the importance of cultivating emotional awareness in boys and what we can do as adults to help foster that growth. I would even suggest that it be required reading for any educator who has even one boy in his or her classroom. The insight presented within Raising Cain as well as the intervention suggestions posed by Thompson and Kindlon offers the reader with the tools to make a positive difference in a boy's life.
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