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From Amazon
Listening to the author William Pollack read Real Boys, it doesn't take long to find out that being a boy these days isn't all fun and games. As codirector of the Center for Men at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical Center, Pollack has seen behind the stoic masks of troubled, modern boys as they struggle to cope with the mixed messages, conflicting expectations, and increasingly complex demands they receive from our evolving society. "New research shows that boys are faring less well ... that many boys have remarkably fragile self-esteem, and that the rates of both depression and suicide in boys are frighteningly on the rise."
What are parents to do? They could start by listening to the author's thoughts on contemporary child-rearing techniques, analysis of the root causes of many male behavior problems, and recommendations for avoiding all-too-common pitfalls. In Real Boys, Pollack draws upon nearly two decades of research to support his theories and makes an impressive assault on the popular myths surrounding the conventional definition of masculinity.
While listening to Real Boys, it is important to remember that Pollack is a psychologist, not a professional narrator. His enunciation is less than perfect and his reading sometimes strikes a clinical tone, but his intelligent writing and the obvious concern he holds for this important subject help carry a passionate message and compensate for any vocal shortcomings. (Running time: three hours, two cassettes) --George Laney --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
In a lucidly written primer for parents, Harvard Medical School psychiatry professor Pollack dismantles what he terms "the Boy Code"?society's image of boys as tough, cool, rambunctious and obsessed with sports, cars and sex. These stereotypes, he argues, thwart creativity and originality in boys. Linking clinical insights to practical suggestions, Pollack advises caregivers how to help boys repair their fragile self-esteem, develop empathy and explore their sensitive sides. Drawing on his clinical experience as well as an ongoing Harvard research project, he offers advice on "attention deficit disorder"? which, he maintains, is often a misdiagnosis for normal high-energy behavior? recognizing signs of depression, discouraging violence and helping boys cope with their parents' divorce. In discussing homosexuality, he notes that many of the assumptions of the psychiatric profession have been shown to be incorrect, such as that homosexuality was abnormal, a psychological disorder. Pollack's glorification of sports as an arena for self-transformation and emotional openness is counterbalanced by his recognition that athletics often encourages brutal competitiveness. His proposal that schools adopt curricula "on traditionally 'male' and 'female' topics" to spark separately the interests of boys and girls seems at odds with his own imperative to break through gender stereotypes. On balance, though, his manual is enlightening and stimulating. Author tour.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Adam is a fourteen-year-old boy whose mother sought me out after workshop I was leading on the subject of boys and families. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
Adam is a fourteen-year-old boy whose mother sought me out after workshop I was leading on the subject of boys and families. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Groundbreaking; Destined to be a Classic,
By
This review is from: Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood (Paperback)
This is a book about the pervase, institutionalized child abuse that turns innocent boys with open hearts into shut-down, terrorized creatures of constant shame. It explains beautifully how it is possible that sweet-hearted children, who happen to be male, can grow up into numb dehumanized men, out of touch with affection. It provides one very plausible explanation why so many of our young men are depressed, violent, or substance-addicted. Even if a boy is never raped, hit, or otherwise physically abused, it is possible for him to suffer corrosive abuse that threatens his mental health. Indeed, it is happening right now in millions of homes and schools in North America.The abuse Pollack describes is something we are all tacitly agreeing to impose on our boys and men. It is something we can change, one boy at a time. But doing so requires a new critical view of mainstream norms of masculinity, and the development of awareness of extremely subtle symptoms of emotionally troubled boys. Pollack provides all of this and much more. If you are raising or helping to raise boys, and if you have a clue what it means to have an open heart, and to embrace the full gamut of emotional experience and expression, you need to read this book. You will need the framework it provides for raising boys into open-hearted, strong-hearted men with as much familiarity with love, joy, sorrow, and fear as they have with rage and dirty jokes. You will also need courage, dedication, and willingness to be seen as the local lunatic who allows his son to cry.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
More Bookish Thoughts...,
By
This review is from: Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood (Paperback)
In "Real Boys", Harvard clinical psychologist William Pollack argues against the "boy code," stressing that it's impossible show any child too much love. He presents practical hints for supporting our boys and includes a wealth of moving and disturbing case studies.Pollack's topics range from promoting "action love," a preference for side-by-side connection during shared activity, to enhancing self-esteem, to battling a failing school system. Readers learn that boys often battle depression and cry out for reconnection in subtle ways; we also gain valuable tips on how to uncover hurt beneath a boy's brave facade. The book is long, at times tedious and lacking in social context. Ultimately, however, it teaches a simple truth: listening without judgment and providing boundless love can make a critical difference in raising sensitive, confident and independent men.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Rescuing Our Sons from Destroying Themselves,
By
This review is from: Real Boys:: Rescuing Our Sons From the Myths of Boyhood (Hardcover)
Real Boys is a pivotal book that explains in great detail how to shatter the myths with which most boys are raised in our society, which prevent them to be allowed to be who they are. Their roles have been stereotyped, and have resulted in deep pain. Many fathers do not understand the bond that their sons need with their mothers, as well as any boyï¿s need to share feelings, even if that means to cry.Dr. Pollackï¿s book brings tremendously valuable insight for parents who have sons, and how to spare them from guilt, shame, and to embrace their authentic selves in order to thrive, as opposed to devalue themselves. If you are raising a son, I cannot recommend this book strongly enough. It also addresses teen suicide, and the signs of depression to look out for in order to prevent this from happening to your son. Highly recommended for the tremendous insight it brings in order for boys to be REAL, and thrive. From my heart, Barbara Rose, author of ï¿If God Was Like Manï¿ and ï¿Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life.ï¿
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