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Real Rape, Real Pain: Help for Women Sexually Assaulted by Male Partners Paperback – Sep 1 2006


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 364 pages
  • Publisher: Hybrid Publishers (Sept. 1 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1876462434
  • ISBN-13: 978-1876462437
  • Product Dimensions: 15.6 x 1.9 x 23.4 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 522 g
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #580,515 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

Product Description

Review

"The authors of this excellent book, Patricia Easteal and Louise McOrmond-Plummer, admirably achieve what they set out to" -- Dr Emma Williamson, Women's Aid UK, 2006

From the Inside Flap

Back Cover Blurb "If you think you're alone in fearing the rapist in your home, abused even while you love the perpetrator, here is a book that will open your eyes to what numerous other women are going through, and teach you about rights, boundaries and healing from the trauma caused by partner rape. It challenges both the silence and the social myths about what "real" rape is, with the aim of preventing it from continuing."

"A must-have resource written by women who understand the complexities associated with healing from relationship abuse. Containing valuable advice and personal accounts from those who have been therein an easy-to-read format, this book is well overdue." Amy Norman, author of Dancing with the Devil: A Memoir "Real Rape, Real Pain is the compassionate friend that reaches into the darkness to the sufferer of partner rape, offering hope and help for a life free from violence. ... This book is a beacon of light that illuminates a misunderstood yet incredibly common phenomenon of violence." Monika Ostroff, co-author of Anorexia Nervosa: A Guide to Recovery "This book, by and for survivors, will help readers understand the trauma of an attack by an intimate, a partner, and the obstacles women face in winning justice which is so crucial for the healing process. It reassures survivors that they are not alone in what they have suffered, nor in their determination to rebuild their lives." Women Against Rape (UK)

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Most helpful customer reviews

Format: Paperback
Real Rape...Real Pain...busts the myth wide open...that in fact women that are involved with an abusive partner...do indeed get raped...and just because it does happen in marrages, relationships, it is still a fact that is true. And that rape can happen any where...to anyone at any time. Rape is not just defined to being attacked on the street.

The authors, and thirty survivors share some painful memories, sharing their stories, their courage. The authors do focus on alot of things...starting with society...and how it has shaped how men treat women...that we actually perpetuate the myth...that rape doesn't happen at home...when it fact it does.

One of the chapters that I found the most interesting...was how vulnerable we are, and why get involved with the people...abusers. This dates back to the kind of environment that you've grown up around...which again, could've been abusive, alcohol...sexual abuse, fighting, arguing...again, making the survivors...unknowningly think that they either didn't deserve any better, or that it was all that they knew?

This is a powerful read, and this resource should be available in every RCC center around the world. Every Library should have it...

Its informative...giving information for leaving an abusive relationship to the step that you take...to even if you choose to stay...

What is really focused through out the entire book, is what the survivor thinks about herself...that is emphasized in every chapter...to remember that its the abuser...and not the abused...and to stay positive...even in those crappy times...to pamper one self. And to remember that you are never defined by what happened to you.

A must read...for every one.
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Format: Paperback
Real Rape, Real Pain draws on the voices of women from across the globe to expose, demystify and provide answers to surviving partner rape. The subject of rape within relationships, a difficult and rarely talked about form of violence, is tackled head on by these authors and they triumph in their task. Personal testimonies, forming the spine of the text, make this book readily accessible by everyone from women experiencing partner rape to those providing assistance and support - counsellors and therapists included. The book?s evolution, from identifying the abuse to accessing support, is thoroughly researched with excellent references and resources. Compassionate, wise and practical this book is an invaluable work that provides real answers and has the potential to create powerful change.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 9 reviews
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Best book for survivor's of partner rape Aug. 8 2006
By D. Coleman - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Though I have yet to read the entire book (it's on it's way), my story is one of the survivor stories included. This book is powerful and poingnant. It is blunt and very matter of fact. It is an inside look into partner/marital rape and cuts to the core. Not only for married survivor's of rape, but date rape or rape by any "known" assailant. Many years, and hard work went into this book for the author's and has been long awaited by all those who participated, contributed in all forms and all who are anxious to read the finished product. Those looking for answers, solace of some form...or just to know that they are NOT alone in their pain. Healing comes and this book is evidence. This book is for the survivor's, but also their families & friends, who may need to "know" or who are curious as to what we had to endure. This book is for you, the victim, right now, who needs to know you are not alone, that there is help, there is healing.

There is hope. A MUST READ.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
At last! A book that tells it like it is.... Aug. 20 2006
By L. Baker - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Real Rape, Real Pain is a must have for any individual working in the allied health professions or ministry. Easteal and McOrmond-Plummer have blended the voices of real women on the journey of healing after being raped by their male partners. Between the stories which enable the reader to see how the stages of recovery occur differently with each survivor.

The last three chapters are a pure joy to read. The authors discuss reclaiming healthy sexuality, self-esteem and physical intimacy. Easteal and McOrmond-Plummer provide tips for secondary survivors, how to educate children and call churches to speak out against rape for what rape is: a sexual crime against an individual. This book is a must have for both a woman who is struggling with the aftermath of rape by her partner and those individuals who are courageous enough to sit with the woman on her journey.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Excellent - thoroughly recommend this book Aug. 14 2006
By Emma Sheehan - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Real Rape, Real Pain draws on the voices of women from across the globe to expose, demystify and provide answers to surviving partner rape. The subject of rape within relationships, a difficult and rarely talked about form of violence, is tackled head on by these authors and they triumph in their task. Personal testimonies, forming the spine of the text, make this book readily accessible by everyone from women experiencing partner rape to those providing assistance and support - counsellors and therapists included. The book's evolution, from identifying the abuse to accessing support, is thoroughly researched with excellent references and resources. Compassionate, wise and practical this book is an invaluable work that provides real answers and has the potential to create powerful change.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Real Rape, Real Pain June 18 2009
By Twyla Bosley - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
This book was very informative for me. I brought me to a point of healing from within and an understanding of human nature that I had not realized in the past. I recommend this book to any woman who has been abused and felt ashamed for the things their boyfriend, spouse or significant other has said to her and done to her against her wishes - whether she was given a choice or not. If you are hurting, this book will help you to understand the pain you are feeling inside. It helps open your eyes to the confusion of trying to understand the complex issue of intimate partner rape. It helps you name it and to move forward in healing.
The stories of these courageous women are heart wrenching and the fact that they are true makes each person realize that they are not alone in feeling their pain. She shows us how to change ourselves, our views without telling us what to do; she allows the option of choice. The healing I obtained from this book has helped me tremendously. I am starting to feel like my old self again and I feel better than I have in years. I feel like it empowered me to confront the demons that stay behind after the damage is done to our psyche.
For any woman who was blamed for the abuse this book will show you that you are not to blame. Too many times woman try to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and keep the secrets locked deep in the closet. We can let the secrets out. We don't have to be ashamed because we learn we were not at fault for what happened to us. Just because we were born a woman does not mean that we are a possession to anyone but ourselves. This alone is so empowering because you place the blame where it needs to be placed - on the perpetrator - he is responsible for his own actions and if they are criminal then this book will help you understand the process of what happens if you do choose to prosecute.
The insight attained is more valuable then gold. This book is awesome and healing in nature. She deserves an award for publishing this book. I plan to recommend it to anyone and everyone that comes across my path. As a matter of fact I already have. Well worth every penny.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Real Rape...Real Pain...busts the myth wide open Oct. 9 2006
By Tina Poznansky - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Real Rape...Real Pain...busts the myth wide open...that in fact women that are involved with an abusive partner...do indeed get raped...and just because it does happen in marrages, relationships, it is still a fact that is true. And that rape can happen any where...to anyone at any time. Rape is not just defined to being attacked on the street.

The authors, and thirty survivors share some painful memories, sharing their stories, their courage. The authors do focus on alot of things...starting with society...and how it has shaped how men treat women...that we actually perpetuate the myth...that rape doesn't happen at home...when it fact it does.

One of the chapters that I found the most interesting...was how vulnerable we are, and why get involved with the people...abusers. This dates back to the kind of environment that you've grown up around...which again, could've been abusive, alcohol...sexual abuse, fighting, arguing...again, making the survivors...unknowningly think that they either didn't deserve any better, or that it was all that they knew?

This is a powerful read, and this resource should be available in every RCC center around the world. Every Library should have it...

Its informative...giving information for leaving an abusive relationship to the step that you take...to even if you choose to stay...

What is really focused through out the entire book, is what the survivor thinks about herself...that is emphasized in every chapter...to remember that its the abuser...and not the abused...and to stay positive...even in those crappy times...to pamper one self. And to remember that you are never defined by what happened to you.

A must read...for every one.


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