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STEPMOTHERHOOD [Hardcover]

Cherie Burns
3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Aug. 12 1985
If you’re one of the more than 15 million stepmothers in the country, you know the particular trials—and joys—of stepfamily dynamics today. You wonder if you’re doing the right thing and, as a stepmother, many of your specific questions are unique. In this second edition of Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without
Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked
, journalist and stepmother Cherie Burns brings together countless insights and sound advice, based on the latest research and interviews with experts in the field (including dozens of other stepmoms), to answer questions such as:

• How do you manage discipline when parents and stepparents disagree?
• How can you help stepsiblings get along?
• How do you handle birthdays, holidays, and weddings?
• What’s the best way to get along with your stepchild’s mother?
• When should you seek a therapist’s help?

Burns’s wise and empathetic suggestions go beyond struggle, stigma, and compromise, showing how sensitive, informed stepmothers can take charge—and pride—in their role, becoming more effective and fulfilled.
--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Product Description

From Amazon

The role of stepmother has long been maligned--just think of Cinderella's or Snow White's stepmothers. Since 1985 when Cheri Burns published this funny, helpful book, stepmothers have felt relieved and no longer so alone. Burns, a stepmother herself, wrote the book to help fellow travelers understand the dynamics and conflicts of their role and navigate the stormy waters of "Expectations," "Guilt," "The Wicked Ex-Wife," "Discipline," "Vacations," and more. Stepmotherhood remains a vital guide for any woman who is either contemplating stepmotherhood or who is already there. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Burns's aim is to ``reexamine and to shed new light on stepmothering and its modern dimensions.'' She bases her book on interviews with ``more than forty stepmothers'' and desires to assist the stepmother reader in putting ``herself and her experience into focus by understanding stepmothering's peculiar chemistry and inherent obstacles.'' Such topics as visits, holidays, family gatherings, financial obligations, and problem stepchildren are covered. Commonsense advice, informal tone, and touching anecdotes will make the book popular with its intended audience. For public libraries. Susan McBride, Northeast Texas Comm. Coll. LRC, Mt. Pleasant
Copyright 1985 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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First Sentence
As a stepmother, you are initially perceived, falsely or not as a rival to the most traditionally revered and respected biological force in the family-the mother. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars What a wonderful book! Aug. 1 2002
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I felt very normal after reading this book and have loaned it to a coworker who is also a stepmother. It was wonderful to know that the things that I think and don't say out loud are normal stepmother feelings (like regarding the ex - "How could such a sweet man have been married to someone so horrible?"). Having two stepsons and no children of my own, it was good to see that different family situations were addressed. Most books I have read assume that you have kids, he has kids, and you have kids together - which is not always the case. I would recommend this book to any new or current stepmother!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent July 17 2003
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I found this book, together with The Stepmom's Guide for Simplifying Your Life, to be very helpful in shifting my focus from overbroad wants that are incapable of being satisfied (my stepchild should be more responsible, e.g.) to concrete behaviors that should be fixed (my stepchild is responsible for picking up his or her dirty dishes and taking out the trash on Monday). The stories can be depressing and repetitive, but they can also be useful. The upshot is (at least today) that I'm happier, and everyone else in the house is too.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Honest Oct. 26 2003
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Yes, this book may come across as negative, but it is realistic. Being a stepmom is tough and tougher still when you go into it with rose colored glasses and the belief that it will all be wonderful. It isn't. Cherie is honest in her assessment of the stepmom experience for most women who find themselves inheriting children who view them as the sole reason their parents aren't getting back together-- Even when their mother has been remarried for years and their parents were never happy. This book helped me focus on the positives of my life as a stepmom by working through the negative. While there were things I could not relate to (my skids were teens when I became their father's wife), the advice is clear, realistic and above all else honest.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Good to know... Feb. 11 2003
Format:Paperback
As a woman who is in a serious relationship with a man with a 3-year-old child, this book was good for me to read. Though we're not married yet, this book still offered me helpful advice--just substitute the word "relationship" for "marriage", and "girlfriend/boyfriend/partner" for "wife/husband." It's relieving to know that I'm not the only woman who has the feelings I do about being involved with a man who has a child. The book offered many useful tips for dealing with the situation. One thing that I would have liked more of, though, was advice for women who have a true aversion to children (such as myself), so much so to the point of being extraordinarily uncomfortable when they are present. I would also have liked more advice on how to deal with the fact that your mate's children are the product of his union with another woman, as well as advice for women who do not plan to have children of their own. All in all, though, a helpful book that gave me good suggestions on strategies to deal with situations that arise in a relationship with a man with a child, and I feel better knowing that I'm not the only woman with the feelings I face--in fact, it's quite normal.
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