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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians


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Product Details

  • Language: English
  • Number of discs: 1
  • Average Customer Review: 3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • ASIN: B008N2Z1E2
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #166,464 in DVD (See Top 100 in DVD)

Customer Reviews

3.1 out of 5 stars

Most helpful customer reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Daniel Jolley TOP 50 REVIEWER on July 25 2006
Format: DVD
It's the kookiest Christmas ever when Santa Claus is kidnapped by Martians in this "you have to see it to believe it" Christmas "classic." Maybe you've seen this movie hilariously skewered on Mystery Science Theater 3000, but you have to watch it on its own to truly appreciate it. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is just so bad that I can't help but love it, and that explains why I am giving this deservedly one-star movie four stars. The Martian get-ups are more ridiculous than Marvin the Martian's normal attire, the sets redefine the very definition of cheap, the acting is over-the-top and generally horrible, and Santa is - well, he's just a little bit weird, if you ask me. Every time the guy starts in with his distinctive laughing (usually for no apparent reason), I am reminded of the fact that Satan is spelled with the same letters as Santa.

Things aren't going so well on Mars. It's bad enough that the Martians are all colored a ridiculous shade of green, dress like rejected superheroes, and wear ridiculous antenna-spouting helmets on their heads at all times, but now the children of Mars are all acting depressed and withdrawn; all they want to do is sit and watch Earth TV. Kimar (Leonard Hicks), the leader of Mars, seeks the advice of the planet's 800-year old wise man and is told that he must bring Santa Claus to Mars so that the children can actually have fun and be children for a little while. Voldar (Vincent Beck) opposes the plan every step of the way, arguing that Kimar's plan will soon result in a whole planet full of lily-livered, mush-brained nincompoops. Kimar wins out and sets off for Earth in the most pathetic spaceship of all time to catch Santa and bring him back to Mars - along with two Earthling children.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By JavaJoe on June 18 2010
Format: DVD
This movie is absolutely awful which accounts for why it's so popular amongst people that love bad movies. It has a certain putrid charm about it in that the actors were seemingly giving it all and truly believed they were making something for the ages. Unfortunately for them it was something for the ages but for completely different reasons.

The movie itself deserves 4 stars for the sheer badness of it. The costumes are what you'd expect from a low budget movie and if you've seen the robot or the polar bear you'd understand why. The dialogue is pretty bad and while the kids are cute, they're not good thespians.

This does lose points however due to the transfer. I realise that the movie is now in the public domain so anybody can literally make and market their own version but this one is just poorly done. I guess a lot of the issue is with the source material they used. The colours are washed out, there are scratches on the film and it just feels like it was done on the cheap. The fact that it's not an expensive movie does take out some of that sting which is why it loses 1 star.

All in all a great example of bad filmmaking and it deserves all the scorn and unintentional laughs that it makes.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By M. Weber on Nov. 6 2003
Format: DVD
For years now, this little gem of a Christmas flick has been picking up steam as an annual favorite during the holidays. I'm glad to see it finally made its way home to DVD. Usually the only way to catch a glimpse of this treasure was to stay up late and watch it on off-beat cinema. This movie needs a "special edition" though. The audio/video quality is very bad and needs some re-mastering. Hooray for Santy Claus!!!
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By EA Solinas HALL OF FAMETOP 50 REVIEWER on Aug. 25 2011
Format: DVD
Every now and then you hear about a movie that is so abysmally, outrageously, mind-blowingly bad that you just HAVE to watch it. "The Room," "Manos, the Hands of Fate," and stuff like that.

This is one of them: "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians," which takes an insultingly ridiculous premise... and makes it even more insultingly ridiculous with hammy acting, silly dialogue, and the worst climax. This is a movie so bad that it actually spins right past the limits and becomes a brilliantly ghastly parody of yuletide cliches!

The children of Mars (all two of them) are becoming withdrawn and depressed, which a crazy old hermit declares to be a sign that MARS NEEDS... SANTA CLAUS! So the Martians to go Earth to kidnap Santa Claus, so he can spread holiday joy. With the help of two idiotic human kids, they get to the North Pole and capture Santa Claus (John Call), who seems to be just fine about being abducted to another planet. I suspect drugs were involved.

But the eeeeeevvvvillll Voldar (Vincent Beck) doesn't want Santa to spread love and joy across Mars, so he spends the space voyage trying to do away with them. The commander Bomar (Chris Month) takes the kids and Santa into his home, but will they ever make it back to Earth? Or will Voldar destroy them first?

The title "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" actually sounds kind of cool -- like it might contain Santa and an elf army waging interstellar war. Unfortunately, instead we get an amalgam of every Christmas cliche and poorly-imagined Z-movie scifi trope, in one sloppy sopping treacly mess.

The dialogue is about as entertaining as a railroad spike in the eye ("What's soft and round and you put it on a stick and you toast it in a fire, and it's green? A Martian mallow!
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