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Satan Burger [Paperback]

Carlton, III Mellick
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 14.21
Price: CDN$ 13.99 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over CDN$ 25. Details
You Save: CDN$ 0.22 (2%)
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Book Description

Nov 1 2001
Absurd philosophies, dark surrealism, and the end of the human race . . .

God hates you. All of you. He closed the gates of Heaven and wants you to rot on Earth forever. Not only that, he is repossesing your souls and feeding them to a large vagina-like machine called the Walm - an interdimensional doorway that brings His New Children into the world. He loves these new children, but He doesn't love you. They are more interesting than you. They are beautiful, psychotic, magical, sex-crazed, and deadly. They are turning your cities into apocalyptic chaos, and there's nothing you can do about it ...

Featuring: a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, lots of classy sex and violence, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.


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Satan Burger + Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere + John Dies at the End
Price For All Three: CDN$ 39.40

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Product Description

From the Inside Flap


"This generation's Vonnegut!" --Vincent W. Sakowski

"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles...and the kinkiest fans!" --Christopher Moore

"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale." --Cory Doctorow

"Mellick's imagination is boundless, and his writing truly shows this. His characters, plot, and writing style are original, enjoyable, and inspiring." --Lionel Bigsby

"Mellick has definitely joined the ranks of the bizarre literary geniuses such as Burroughs, Philip K. Dick, and Vonnegut." --Charles Glover

"Brilliant writing that oozes into your skull and melts your brain like a box of a zillion crayons." --Idiot Alien Thought Creature

About the Author

CARLTON MELLICK III is a rising name in the cult underground for his unique blend of darkly bizarre punk fantasy and sacrilegious satire. He gushed into the scene in 1999 with his anti- novel, ELECTRIC JESUS CORPSE, an epic of the bizarre in twelve parts. Over 70 of his stories have appeared in magazines, anthologies, online journals, and have been collected into two chapbooks and a forthcoming paperback, SUNSET WITH A BEARD. He currently resides in Portland, Oregon, with 156 zombie movies and a pickled sausage collection.

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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars mmmMMMMM! Satan burgers! Jun 30 2004
Format:Paperback
Squishy, batter-dipped, soul-stealing cheeseburgers are deep-fried by our own resident homosexual ex-arch angel himself, Satan, while an overweight, lard-bellied messiah scrubs the bathroom floors with a crusty mop and bucket. Behind the counter stand your servers, consisting of a pierced and tattooed skin-head babe and an Asian kid who thinks he's a pirate. Aaargh! It's your modern day family restaurant! Just beware of the living, breathing demon-possessed appliances and the scorpion flies hovering above, waiting to paralyze you. Better get yourself a female baboon!

Most books can't hold my attention for long. I consider myself more film oriented. But CM3's "Satan Burger" has breathed new life into a long dead literary world for me. This book is captivating and humorous like no book I've read before, and shows what a little style and imagination can do. This anti-novel should be required reading for all the *shrugging* school systems in America!

Now, pass the ketchup.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Have You Been to Satan Burger? Feb 26 2006
Format:Paperback
An oddly assorted group of people living in a large house get a new tenant... Satan, who plans to open a restaurant. The fun starts here and never lets up. Heaven shuts down and the dead have no place to go. Plenty of great sex and violence, some great imagery, and a story line that gets stranger with every page. And I agree, the "Battlestar Galactica" original show had more than just a good theme song! Or did it?

This is one of Mellick's first books. It is well developed and very interesting. He has since written many more in a very short period, including "Punk Land," the sequel to this book.

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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Juvenile, Pointless and Stupid. Feb 14 2009
Format:Paperback
I get the feeling this book is trying to be surreal and funny. It fails. I found myself getting frustrated while reading this... have you ever watched a real bad movie then gotten upset because that's 2 hours of your life wasted that you'll never get back. That's the feeling I got while reading this mastubatory trite. If your looking for GOOD surreal writing check out Raw Shark Texts, or Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars The best ending ever!
This book left me shaking. I could almost feel the narrator's soul being sucked from his body at the end of the book. All those blank pages made me feel cold. Read more
Published on Jun 15 2004 by Ron Mixen
1.0 out of 5 stars Dont waste your time
This book, while getting your attention and is rather good with details of characters and even non characters(hence the one star) is an utter waste of ones time. Read more
Published on Jun 5 2004 by Squeakey
5.0 out of 5 stars have their souls sucked into oblivion
Satan Burger is set in a weird reality where people stop dying and have their souls sucked into oblivion and apathy. Read more
Published on Jun 3 2004 by "imdateless"
5.0 out of 5 stars Pray...zzzz!
A painting stops at it's frame... because Art does have boundaries. Carlton has turned these boundaries inside out. Read more
Published on May 3 2004 by Phil McCracken
4.0 out of 5 stars very cool read
I bought this book and The Devil's Apocrypha by John A. De Vito at the same time. Both had rave reviews and both seemed like interesting takes on a religious theme. Read more
Published on April 29 2004 by T Reddon
5.0 out of 5 stars A masterpiece to me, but not for everyone
This is one of the few books that really clicks with me. It is written in a fun and entertaining way, yet it is smart and extremely inventive. Read more
Published on April 29 2004 by "mooninite1"
2.0 out of 5 stars Yeah it`s an "anti-novel".............
.........But the reason we read books like this is to be entertained. Satan`s fast food restaurant is filled with VCR`s that can`t take someone`s order, Leaf has "God`s... Read more
Published on April 27 2004 by Peragulator
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting, but a bit juvenile
I have to say that I enjoyed reading this odd mix of childish surrealism and anarchic philosophy. It was compelling and exposed a good writer...though perhaps in the rough. Read more
Published on April 11 2004 by Laura Canham
4.0 out of 5 stars great book, original and well written
with all the hype, i expected an extreme book that is sacriligious and raw and whatnot, but it isn't. the story is different, well told, and interesting. Read more
Published on Jan 28 2004 by gcon
5.0 out of 5 stars totality Mr. T
One of the best books i have read in looooonnnnnggg time
Published on Oct 12 2003 by The man under your bed . . .
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