Scars [Paperback]

This is a very intense and much needed book. Cutting and other forms of self harm is a very serious matter and it is good that books like this exist. In many cases, cutting is a coping mechanism in response to sexual abuse.

Kendra, 15 has been sexually abused for a period of over 10 years, starting when she was a toddler. She is not able to identify her molester. Fortunately she does tell her mother, who, in addition to being in denial over so many things does have the good sense to get Kendra into therapy. Kendra's therapist Carolyn, is a kind, perceptive woman who has firsthand knowledge of sexual abuse and is a stable and nurturing influence in Kendra's life. Kendra's mother would later feel threatened by Carolyn and would make unsuccessful attempts to drive a wedge between her and Kendra.

Meanwhile, Kendra is living a nightmare. She believes she is being stalked, but she isn't sure who the stalker is. She has chosen a new family for herself. Kendra is a gifted artist and her art teacher sees the subtext of Kendra's paintings and is very much a support system. Kendra's mother is friends with a very kind man named Sandy and his partner, both of whom are artists. Kendra's mother has followed her own artistic muse. She has passed her artistic talent on to Kendra and regularly critizes Kendra's work. Kendra feels she cannot confide in her and no longer shows her any of her artwork.

"Happiness is a warm gun/when I hold you in my arms and I feel my finger on your trigger/I know no one can do me no harm/because happiness is a warm gun." -- John Lennon, 1968

On a more alarming note, Kendra has been cutting herself regularly. She has been doing this as a way to symbolically and physically cut out pain. Ironically, John Lennon of "Happiness is a Warm Gun" fame would die from gunshot wounds inflicted by an overzealous lunatic. Kendra is slowly dying from the weapon that gives her momentary comfort, the warm blade in this instance.

Kendra's mother also cannot accept the fact that her daughter is gay. Kendra's first partner, Sarah, took out a restraining order against her prior to transferring schools. Sarah could not take on the enormity of Kendra's needs. Kendra's current partner Meghan, a girl with a very different, yet equally traumatic background literally takes Kendra under her wing. Both are familiar with traumatic sexual relationships, yet their experiences are vastly different.

It is Meghan awho comes through like the Calvary for Kendra time and again. The girls are required to take an art therapy class at their school under the aegis of their art teacher as well as an art therapist. They form a bond that seals their friendship.

Still, Kendra and Carolyn work hard to unmask the abuser. The abuser can best be described as "lying with his eyes while his hands remain busy overtime.." -- Beatles from "Happiness is a Warm Gun," 1968. Kendra's cutting has reached a critical point; she steals blades from the art supply room and lies about why she has them in the first place. Her arm is a cross-hatch of old cuts and supporating as well as healing new ones; she finds comfort in cutting out the trauma of her past by replacing it with something flowing, like red paint, something current that to her way of thinking doesn't include sex.

Carolyn soldiers on. She provides a safe place for Kendra and gives readers insight into Kendra's mind and behaviors; she ultimately helps Kendra to unmask her stalker/abuser.

Cheryl Rainfield is a brilliant writer who has shared an important story with important messages. Sexual abuse; support systems; self injurious behaviors and confronting the abuser. Suicide and sexuality are other major issues that she tackles brilliantly and realistically as well as homophobia and self acceptance. Each of these serious topics segue neatly into one another to make for a very explosive and vital story.

John Lennon's 1965 classic "Help!" and his 1968 classic "Happiness is a Warm Gun" could easily be the soundtrack of this book.

Scars, by Cheryl Rainfield, does the impossible: it packages unbelievable pain in lean, unadorned prose -- and does not let the mystery of the plot line dominate. That this story is based on personal experience is obvious from the first page: no one could write this from a mile away and mail in the manuscript. The topic of self-harm is a topic our society wants to close its eyes to; but it is born from the other topic to which we have our eyes, ears and senses closed to: the sexual abuse of children. Rainfield opens doors that need to stay open, and in doing so announces that she is a literary force who has arrived on the scene. Buy this book and read it not only for the story itself but to be able to say years from now that you've followed this writer's career from the beginning. I have no doubt there will be more, much more, from this young, talented writer.

This is a truly gut wrenching novel that screams of actual author experience. I could not see an author writing so knowledgeably of this issue, and with such deep emotion based on research alone. And Cheryl Rainfield is not shy about stating that she is in fact a victim of abuse and self harm.

It is really heart wrenching to read a novel like this, because it happens to innocent women/girls more than any of us want to imagine. I could not relate to our main character's severe emotional instability because, thankfully, I have never had to deal with a situation like this, but as a woman, my heart went out to her and I understood her emotions.

The author wrote this beautifully, though the issue in this story is anything but beautiful. But her writing skills were superb and she delivered a very interesting and emotional story, rich with well developed and believable characters and plot.

Our character grows stronger and more confident as she chooses to face this terrible series of events which occurred so early in her life. She discovers herself and her strength through the help of therapy and positive influences in the people around her. She faced her nightmare, walked away scarred, but a much stronger person, hopeful and optimistic about her future - a true survivor and fighter.

A fast read that really explored a lot of the reasons and emotions behind these self harm behaviors and the realities around it. This novel was undeniably gripping and interesting, and suitable for Young Adults and older. I would definitely recommend this novel, and I look forward to reading more works by this author.