Schulmädchen-Report 1: Was Eltern nicht für möglich halten

Documentary? Yeah, some hot young women get interviewed on the street, all the rest is made up.

The story is supposed to be a girl that gets caught doing the bus driver on a school trip. Teacher walks in while the 25 year old bus driver is humping away on the 18 year old Renate. The girl is going to be expelled, and all the old farts argue she should be tossed out. One guy, a hip dad, tells the school board about new girls, how they love sex and should be free to do what they want. Don't punish Renate, punish society for being so uptight. She gets off in the end.

The lesson part starts - each time this guy tells a story, they show some young girl acting out the story. After each story ends, some clown with a gigantic microphone asks randon hotties on the street what they think - how old were you when you lost it, do you enjoy it, do you do it with girls....

Now why the heck would you want to watch this? 1970's softcore porn, that's why. If you like shrubbery, this one is for you. If that turns you off, well don't watch this - there's a lot of shrubbery in this movie, even some under the arms. If you like young perky breasts, well this is heaven.

Hey, this is softcore, so there's no erections, no penetration, no penises ever anywhere, no close ups of kittens, no wet stuff. Just a bunch of guys hiding what they're doing. One girl / one guy; girl / girl; girl masturbating; one girl / old guy; two girls / old guy; and on and on. The whole thing is in German, so that's super shrinkage to me anyway - German just doesn't sound sexy. And to understand the thing, you have to read the subtitles.

The movie tried. At least it had the idea that it was a documentary. It did say that girls should have more freedom to do what they want. They do show off some great bodies.

Oh the rock music, not so bad. There's some scenes of Munich that are good. Skinny guys in tight pants and long hair. Granny panties. Shrubbery. Money shot free. Stupid narration. Everything you thought girls thought about guys is true in this movie - they spend a lot of time thinking about how to get in guys pants.

This is useful for intermediate German students.

The English subtitles are excellent, and not literal (e.g., during the ballet class: "dumme Pliae": "hopping around).

Translation is tough work and this was well done. Nearly all the spoken German is clear, although way too fast for those still learning the Sprache.

The music, however, is sooo annoying.

This movie was not what I thought it was going to be. The audio and video quality is below poor. Even as a B-skin movie it does not meet the mark. Honestly, I could not watch the whole movie even skimming through it. I threw away the movie but kept the DVD case so that my purchase would not be a total loss.