Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby [Mass Market Paperback]

Tracy Hogg claims this is a middle of the road approach. It isn't. As a parent and as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have read most of the parenting books on the market. This book isn't much different from all of the other sleep training books out there. It is obvious it is written from the perspective of a babysitter rather than a medical doctor or psychologist. Her change a "bad" habit in three days is ridiculous and oversimplified. Yes, you can change a behavior if you are ruthless enough about it, but that doesn't mean you should. Picking up the baby and putting them back down repeatedly as she recommends might make you feel like you are doing something rather than just leaving them there to cry, but you aren't meeting the babies need for closeness. In one example she explains that in one night she picked up and put a baby down 172 times (when he cried, she picked him up and as soon as he stopped she put him down), how frustrating for this poor baby who was trying to communicate a need that went unmet. After several days, the baby gave up and didn't cry in his crib anymore. She cites this as an example of how great her training program is. Babies are people with needs. I met a family recently who used this approach and their baby responded to this program like a trained pup. She was complacent and passive. She slept through the night without a peep and from 8:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. Her daily routines involved videos, bottles, and crib-time with a bunch of pacifiers. No rocking, no lullabyes, definitely no nursing. It definitely was easy as her "E.A.S.Y." program implies. But, this kind of approach has negative long term effects. The mother said that the approach is great because her child doesn't have to "waste energy communicating her needs" because they tell her what she needs. This is a big premise of this book. I found this very sad. Children need to learn to identify their needs, communicate their needs, and have those needs met. In this process they learn to communicate and have healthy trusting relationships with others. These sleep training programs are based on behavioral psychological theories. The problem with this is that these approaches are more appropriate for animals, which is how these theories developed, and can be used for older children and adults for certain problems. But it is completely developmentally inappropriate to use these behavior modification approaches with human infants. The first 12 to 18 months of life the primary task of a human infant is to learn to trust. Books like this make the routine more important than the relationship. This causes significant long term relationship problems that the child will struggle with in the years to come. I see this every day in my practice-problems with intimacy and materialism, attaching and finding comfort in objects continuing later in life- the bottle, pacifier, and blankie become the cigarette, the alcoholic drink, the compulsive shopping, the compulsive eating, etc tomorrow. Of course the occasional use of a pacifier or bottle when mom isn't available is handy, but overrelying on mother substitutes as Tracy recommends is not good for your child. If you want to learn more about child development, go right to the source and study Winnicott, Kohut and Bowlby. Or if you want to read a book marketed to parents the only author I can recommend who is consistent with developmental needs is Dr. Sears.

First I must say I am glad this book was given to me as a gift rather than spending my own money on it. Hogg makes you feel that if you haven't done it her way then your baby is screwed up for life which makes the mother feel terrible.

Unfortunately I find that although she lists everything you should do to calm and soothe your baby, she doesn't exactly list how to do it. I am most frustrated with the chapter dedicated to sleep. She keeps saying her method helps babies to sleep but doesn't really clarify what her method is. She is terrible at explaining things. The only page I find useful is the one to help identify baby's cries. Other than that I think that she is a little to quick to judge and a little too over the top for me.

PS i didnt want to give this book four stars. I accidentally hit it and now it won't let me change it. I give this book a 2

So far using this book has given us great guidelines to use for our newborn. Reading it before the baby arrived prepared us to handle the many unknowns we dealt with in the very first days and weeks. I especially referred to the parts about body language and different types of crying. It seemed like she knew our little one to a "T". This book may not be for everyone, however I personally appreciate the "routine" and structure that the book promotes, it has made life fairly predictable and flexible for me. I found the nursing info to work well for me when paired with advice from my midwife and childbirth classes. I'm not sure what book some of the other commenters read, but I have found plenty of freedom and flexibility, lots of time for affection and cuddling and yes, plenty of sleep. If this is a tool you want to use I highly recommend reading it before your baby arrives and starting it as soon as you can. However, as with every book, keep in mind that these are guidelines and opinions and it won't replace you're common sense and mothering instincts. It's easy to get caught up the rules and forget that that your dealing with a little person and not a predictable machine.