I SEE RUDE PEOPLE and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more

Vous voulez voir cette page en français ? Cliquez ici.


or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering.
More Buying Choices
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
Start reading I SEE RUDE PEOPLE on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners into Impolite Society [Paperback]

Amy Alkon
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 20.95
Price: CDN$ 15.12 & FREE Shipping on orders over CDN$ 25. Details
You Save: CDN$ 5.83 (28%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Usually ships within 3 to 5 weeks.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.ca. Gift-wrap available.

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition CDN $9.99  
Paperback CDN $15.12  
Join Amazon Student in Canada


Book Description

Nov. 13 2009
"This crazy redhead is on to something. Her pink Rambler story alone is worth the price of the book." -- Elmore Leonard

"Amy Alkon is intellectually promiscuous--and funny as hell." -- Paleopsychologist Howard Bloom, author of The Lucifer Principle

We all just suck it up every day. You leave the house for a latte and somebody'll flip you the bird on your way and force their loud cellphone conversation on you once you're there.

It doesn't have to be that way, says award-winning syndicated columnist Amy Alkon. Her hilarious stories of her in-your-face encounters with rude people and businesses will inspire you to stand up to the boors in your own world.

Alkon not only gives the offenders a taste of their own medicine, she delves into anthropology, psychology, and behavioral science to figure out why we're rude and how we can stop all the intruding, shoving, and shouting. She ensures that all these rude people get their comeuppance:

-Lax parents
-Internet bullies
-Rude drivers
-Negligent businesses
-Telemarketing executives
-Car thieves
-Parking space hogs
-That loud jerk in the drugstore line

In this funny, ferocious and freewheeling expose, Alkon gives you the tools you need to confront these abusers and restore common courtesy, respect and good manners to society...one chastened cellphone shouter at a time.


Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought


Product Details


Product Description

About the Author

Amy Alkon writes the award-winning advice column The Advice Goddess. She has been featured in the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, the Wall Street Journal, and Psychology Today and has appeared on "Good Morning America," "The Today Show," NPR, CNN, MTV, "Politically Incorrect," and "Nightline." She blogs daily at advicegoddess.com, can be found on Twitter at amyalkon, and lives in California.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Intoduction

Anna's thirteenth birthday is only a day away when her two best friends inform her with mock sadness that they won't be coming to her sleepover party.

"Tina asked us to go to the movies with her. That's way more fun than watching videos at your house and playing those stupid games your mom comes up with," they snicker, linking arms and walking away.

An older girl begins to make fun of newcomer Monica's scrawny build whenever they pass each other in the halls of their small rural high school. Even though fifteen-year-old Monica switches from wearing her favorite skirts and dresses to jeans, soon everyone is calling her "chicken legs" and cackling when she passes.

At ten, Lucy hates playground. Every day when the teacher is distracted, a boy will swoop up and snap the back of Lucy's new bra, which barely contains her B-cup breasts. Worse yet is the betrayal of girls, who cluster together and laugh when that happens. Even Lucy's former friends have started sticking out their chests mockingly and strutting behind her.

Day after day, fifteen-year-old Shantal and her crowd of friends face off against fourteen-year-old Erika and her group. In the cafeteria of their inner-city school, Shantal calls Erika a "slut" because she is dating Reese, a good-looking seventeen-year-old. In return, Erika shoves past Shantal and mutters "bitch" just loud enough to be heard. The confrontations grow more and more heated until one day between classes Erika punches Shantal in the face, an encounter that escalates into a brawl requiring police intervention.

What do these young women and their friends have in common? All are caught up in the whirlwind of relational aggression, wounded by the words and actions of another girl. Even Erika and Shantal, who work to maintain "tough girl" stances at all costs, are scared, hurt, and insecure underneath.

Relational aggression (RA), also called female bullying, is the use of relationships, rather than fists, to hurt another. Rumors, name calling, cliques, shunning, and a variety of other behaviors are the weapons girls use against one another on an everyday basis in schools, sports, recreational activities, and even houses of worship. The increasing incidence of physical confrontations between girls, like Erika and Shantal's are often preceded by escalating relational aggression.

Most women can recall an incident of RA in their own past, but the seriousness of these behaviors is reaching new proportions, resulting in criminal charges, school shootings, and suicides. Why are today's girls so willing to be this cruel to one another?

When psychologist Mary Pipher wrote her bestselling book Reviving Ophelia in the mid-1990s, she suggested we need to "work together to build a culture that is less complicated and more nurturing, less violent and sexualized, and more growth producing." If anything, the world of adolescent girls is now more complicated, violent, and sexualized as well as less nurturing than when Dr. Pipher first proposed her agenda for change.

Today's young women are subtly influenced to interact in ways that reduce rather than enhance their underlying power to connect with one another. Bombarded with messages about their physical appearance at an early age, they are expected to dress provocatively while maintaining straight "A" averages and excelling at sports. They are labeled as mean "Queen Bees" but given no alternatives for more positive behaviors. Their bodies are reaching physical maturity earlier and earlier, yet their cognitive skills remain anchored in adolescence. Role models for today's teens are not powerful women who have succeeded because of their persistence and kindness to others, but rather superstar singers acting like sexy schoolgirls and movie stars firing machine guns or using martial arts on opponents while wearing skintight jumpsuits. No wonder young women find themselves in a state of extreme confusion, unsure of how to relate to either themselves or others.

The good news is that all across the country, mothers, girls, and others are finding ways to help adolescents feel more secure about their own abilities and safe in their relationships with others. Slowly, their efforts are changing the "girl poisoning" culture Mary Pipher first lamented nearly a decade ago, transforming behavior from cruel to kind.

Do all girls have the capacity to be kind? We believe girls are not inherently cruel, and that although behaviors such as jealousy, gossiping, and joining cliques may be normal in terms of what we expect, they are not what we have to accept. Based on our work with hundreds of young women in both our professional and personal lives, as well as extensive research, evaluation, and input from other experts on the subject, Charisse and I know that not only can girls be kind, they feel better about themselves when they are. We call this behavior confident kindness, because the ability to be caring and supportive of others is only meaningful if it comes from an inner sense of security and self-esteem.

It is our role as adults to guide young women to form more positive self-identities, which will in turn lead to more supportive relationships with others. That's what this book is all about. How can mothers, young girls, or any other concerned party overcome RA? In this book, input from four important sources is used to identify twelve key strategies that both girls and adults can use.

First, girls who have been involved in RA share their stories, either in their own words or via interviews. These young women offer advice on how to deal with RA and share ways in which they turned their lives around -- either on their own or with help from others.

A second source is the wisdom of mothers and other adults who have helped young women deal with RA. These include fathers, coaches, teachers, dance instructors, and religious education counselors. Again, the situations these adults faced with adolescent girls are shared, in their own words, along with the specific actions they took, which illustrate the strategies described.

A third source of information is experts, including Dr. Charisse Nixon and myself. Efforts are under way to develop and evaluate programs that specifically address individual, school, family, and community aspects of RA. In addition, many researchers and clinicians are actively studying and identifying key interventions that can put an end to female bullying.

Finally, several organizations that focus on improving the self-esteem of girls and helping them learn more positive ways of interacting are described. These include GENAustin, a "GirlPower" program in one high school; the Boys and Girls Clubs of America; ClubOphelia.com and its premier program, Camp Ophelia; and the Ophelia Project and one of its sister chapters in Warren, Pennsylvania.

Of course, the experiences that feel most relevant to both Charisse and myself are the ones we have had as mothers of girls who are immersed in this culture of female aggression. We have seen our daughters caught up in the tumult of RA behaviors at various ages, but in keeping with the original message of Reviving Ophelia, we believe change is possible. Negative messages about "mean teens," which make for great press, end up stereotyping girls and creating an expectation that such behaviors are normal. The latter is particularly damaging because it perpetuates the notion that nothing can be done, because, after all, "girls will be girls."

It is our goal to focus on the strength and resiliency of young women rather than on their deficiencies. Girls have enormous relational abilities but need guidance to build those abilities into constructive assets. In this book, we will show that girls can -- and must -- be taught to capitalize on the strong, resourceful, positive, and powerful side that lives inside them. Anyone -- male, female, young, old, individual, or group -- can use these strategies to transform the culture of female aggression to one of confident kindness.

The twelve strategies are listed step-by-step for you to follow. The first, and perhaps most important, is to inform yourself and others. Although this may sound easy enough, there are many nuances of RA that affect today's girls. The four chapters devoted to this strategy will describe special situations such as the use of computers for aggression (cyber-RA) and socioeconomic differences and similarities in RA. This content is elaborated on by vignettes by girls and parents.

Strategies 2 and 3 are preventive actions you can use to develop a girl's anti-RA skills at a young age, grow her self-esteem, and equip her with positive relationship skills. Again, the real experiences of adults and girls will be shared to illustrate these principles.

The longest section of the book deals with what to do when RA occurs (Strategies 4 through 10). We begin with relatively mild incidents and progress to serious, sustained types of harassment and aggression. These strategies will help you intervene to end the aggression and hurt all girls experience when RA occurs. Not surprisingly, girls themselves have a lot to say about what helps and what doesn't; their suggestions are summarized in Strategy 10: Give Her a Tool Kit of Options.

Strategy 11 deals with changing the larger culture through individual and community programs targeted at RA. Profiles of key organizations are provided so you can replicate similar efforts in your own home and community. Finally, you will be guided through the steps needed to develop your own action plan.

The book ends with appendices, which are by no means comprehensive but which provide further information on resources, along with a self-assessment quiz on your RA quotient. Sources for further help are also identified.

We frequently mention middle school as the context for working with girls since this is a time when gender differences emerge in RA, but in reality the strategies apply to preschool through young adulthood. While our focus is girl vs. girl aggression, we acknowledge that boys can and do engage in R... --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


Inside This Book (Learn More)
Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
Search inside this book:

Customer Reviews

3 star
0
2 star
0
1 star
0
4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5 stars
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Testy ' Funny ' 'Way Out there March 10 2011
Format:Paperback
Hilarious - this book was just plain funny. Amy Alkon tells of rude experiences in public, and how people just seem to forget their manners - even though they are surrounded by other people. That's true in driving, in restaurants, coffee shops, your bank and police station. Cell phone use, and abuse is one of her focal points in the book. She comes up with some pretty wild, and wonderful ideas on getting people to "get it" regarding NOT yelling their social security number into their cell phone in a small coffee shop.

One of the truly amazing points about Amy's book is that she comes out and just tells it as it is. She has a photo of a guy's 4x4 with the WOZ license plate (NOT blurred out) - and tells the story of what this goofy person did. I love her solution of take photos of the car and license plate so that the person knows you are photographing them - it makes them paranoid and change behavior fast. She also comes out and tells the story about BANK OF AMERICA and how dumb their policies are - and how easy it could be for someone to commit fraud and steal money from your account. She tells the story straight up, without trying to hide the accused. The book feels like a brutally honest documentary film, with a lot of good laughs.

This is one of the few books I have really had a good laugh to. People around me must have thought I was weird to be reading, and periodically laughing - but at least that wasn't rude!
Was this review helpful to you?
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars i see rude people Feb. 8 2010
Format:Paperback
she really tells it like it is. people should be more gracious and slow down and a little less RUDE.
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.4 out of 5 stars  101 reviews
39 of 42 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Mixed feelings Aug. 14 2010
By Alan Mazer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I have mixed feelings about this book. I first heard of Amy Alkon through an article somewhere this past week which cited her as an expert on modern-day rudeness, and believe me, I'm sensitive to this topic. Courtesy seems to be in rapid decline. And Alkon, fed up, has some very entertaining stories on how she's started dealing with rude people, from taking the photographs of particularly offensive people (priceless) to billing telemarketers for her time. Interspersed between her anecdotes are a surprising amount of interesting and relevant facts and quotable studies, including a particularly intriguing 150-people-per-village concept, which suggests that there are simply too many of us living in too little real community for us to feel much societal restraint. Her "Don't inflict yourself on other people" motto should be framed and hung everywhere. She's definitely got me thinking about how I can minimize my impact on others around me. The last chapter of the book, in particular, has many very constructive suggestions for coping with and challenging rudeness in the world.

That said, some of her stories don't describe her defending against rudeness as such, but her fights against people (cops and bank workers, for starts) who don't give her the service she feels she deserves, and at these points in the book she loses a little of my sympathy. I've had a car stolen; I've had problems at her bank which were handled professionally. Glossed over in her complaints of how her bank failed to prevent theft from her account is that her bank refunded her money without question. That they refused to help her track down the perpetrator is hardly surprising. Similarly, her story of having her car stolen is sad, and her zeal to recover it impressive, but it's hard to fault the police department for not sending a car just because a friend reportedly saw the stolen auto in traffic. Most police departments have tight budgets and scarce resources, and surely she realizes that crimes of violence will always take priority over property crimes in a city like L.A.

In short, Alkon makes a lot of great points, the book is entertaining and moves quickly, and she cites some very interesting research. But there's a very fine line between actually fighting rudeness and poor service (her suggestions in the last chapter are terrific) and demanding that companies and organizations use their resources to fight injustice against -you-.
116 of 141 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Tour de Force! Nov. 16 2009
By Kingsley R. Browne - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Rude people beware: Amy Alkon may see you, and if she does, it is unlikely to be a pleasant experience for you. Car thieves, "underparenting" parents, cell-phone users, and telemarketers have all attracted her ire, and she has responded with persistence and ingenuity in ways that most of us can only dream of. But this book is not just a rant about the unmannered. Alkon skillfully weaves in learning from the fields of psychology and anthropology (among others) to explain why we face such a scourge of the impolite. People have always been "grabby, self-involved jerks," but the anonymity of modern society means that they are no longer constrained by the norms of the small groups that traditionally kept those jerky tendencies in check.

This a book for everyone. Those burdened by the impolite may learn defensive strategies, or at least learn that they have a champion in Amy Alkon. If we're lucky, the impolite will learn that what they do is actually impolite, causing them to change their ways; at the very least, however, they will learn to look over their shoulders.

"I See Rude People" is delightfully entertaining. Those familiar with Alkon's advice column ([...]) will recognize her wit and energy. After reading "I See Rude People," those not familiar with her column will be impelled to make it a regular destination for an "Alkon fix."
120 of 150 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Simply Fabulous Nov. 14 2009
By Sterling R. Braswell - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I've been reading Ms. Alkon's column for many years, and I was prepared to enjoy her book. Amy probably snapped at about the same time I did in regards to 'rude people'. I will quote from page 120: "I thought kids and I had a deal: I'd stay out of Chuck E. Cheese if they stayed out of the martini lounge." This hits me at home from both sides, and I am still laughing.

This book is even better than my expectations. As much as I enjoy visiting her blog, I get involved in the discussions there and sometimes forget that Amy is there. And this book really was an evening with Amy. She's sassy, precocious, and absolutely fabulous in the way she relates her stories and views.

Ms Alkon makes you laugh and makes you think. And from her precisely sharp wit she provides us all with courage to make the world a little more friendly, and a better place.

The advicegoddess is my new Dave Barry. And with much better hair. I can't wait to send copies of her book to friends and foe.
44 of 55 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Priceless! Feb. 18 2010
By C. Salmon - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Totally refreshing and fabulous book. Amy Alkon does a wonderful job of creating a fun to read, entertaining book that is also practical and slips in the science as well. No one is surprised that there are rude people out there, we deal with them every day. But Amy's insights are entertaining and helpful...and very topical, like the discussion of people big and rude enough to annex half your plane seat. :-)Totally worth the price and more.
49 of 62 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Woe to the rude... Nov. 28 2009
By Fianza - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
...because Amy Alkon will knee-cap them with crow-bar of her searing wit.

Ms. Alkon writes of her efforts to save us from the the petit sociopaths of society: the cell yeller, the anonymous Internet character assassin, and the child-controlled parent.

This book is plain cover-to-cover funny. I was impressed by her social and psychological analysis of humankind's roots and de-evolution of its ill-behavior. Our barely post-Paleolithic brains are not handling modern tools too well and we're not behaving too well outside of the cave.

Buy, read, laugh, and learn.
Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

Look for similar items by category


Feedback