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Product Description
From Publishers Weekly
The disguise that former Los Angeles Times op-ed columnist Vincent employed to trick dozens of people into believing her a man was carefully thought out: a new, shorter haircut; a pair of rectangular eyeglasses; a fake five o'clock shadow; a prosthetic penis; some preppy clothes. It was more than she needed. "[A]s I became more confident in my disguise... the props I had used... became less and less important, until sometimes I didn't need them at all," Vincent writes. Gender marking, she found, is more about attitude than appearance. Vincent's account of the year and a half she spent posing as a man is peppered with such predictable observations. To readers of gender studies literature, none of them will be especially illuminating, but Vincent's descriptions of how she learned, and tested, such chestnuts firsthand make them awfully fun to read. As "Ned," Vincent joined an all-male bowling league, dated women, worked for a door-to-door sales force, spent three weeks in a monastery, hung out in strip clubs and, most dangerous of all, went on a Robert Bly–style men's retreat. She creates rich portraits of the men she met in these places and the ways they behaved—as a lesbian, she's particularly good at separating the issues of sexuality from those of gender. But the most fascinating part of the story lies within Vincent herself—and the way that censoring her emotions to pass as a man provoked a psychological breakdown. For fans of Nickel and Dimed–style immersion reporting, this book is a sure bet. (Jan. 23)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
*Starred Review* Vincent's first experiment in cross-dressing came on a dare from an acquaintance who was a drag king. When she experienced the intoxicating invisibility and safety that came from wearing the disguise, she wanted to learn more. For 18 months, she disguised herself as a man, renamed herself Ned, joined a men's bowling league, visited strip bars, and dated women. Along the way, she found that the freedom and privileges enjoyed by men were counterbalanced by a constant testing and severe limits on emotions. She also found women to be distrustful, ever ready to criticize men for being emotionally distant yet clearly preferring men who met stereotypical images of strength and virility. Vincent is frank about her experiences--the hard business of sexual transactions devoid of emotions, the easy bonding between men, fear of sexual attraction among men, and, ultimately, the explosion of her own notions of sex roles. She also explores the guilt she feels about her deception. Writing from the perspective of a gay woman who had a view of the male world that women don't get to see, Vincent finds unexpected complexities in the men she meets and in herself as well. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
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Customer Reviews
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Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Tale of Courage and Rare Insight,
By Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 112,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER) (#1 HALL OF FAME)
This review is from: Self Made Man (Hardcover)
One of the most impressive books I have ever read is Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin. Following Mr. Griffin as he moved across his day's color line to see how his skin color changed the reactions he experienced created a searing memory for me. It was my respect for that book that brought me to Self-Made Man.Norah Vincent's transformation from tall gay woman into a somewhat effeminate appearing man provides a very powerful reading experience as well. You have both gender and sexual orientation differences here to deal with. I admire her thoroughness and courage. The disguise preparations were extensive (down to a simulated beard and false frontal appendage), training in how to walk and talk, and research into male culture. Many people would have been satisfied with taking on easy challenges: Ms. Vincent clearly pushed herself. She went into environments where many men wouldn't feel fully comfortable: a bowling team of friends while having little skill; working class stripper bars; dating women who have been hurt and haven't recovered; staying at a monastery; working in door-to-door sales; and a men's retreat. As a result, you see many dimensions of social class and religious differences as well. Her observations obviously reflect who she is. She longed to build real connections to the people she fooled, but suffered from a great fear of a hostile reaction. Instead, people accepted her for who she appeared to be and were gracious when she revealed the end of her masquerade. In her writing, I only noticed a few false notes. Some of what she's trying to experience probably depends in part on hormonal reactions so I'm not sure she fully grasped the stripper scene (but how could she?). In other places, I found the descriptions to be a little over-intellectualized. Ms. Vincent paid a big price for her research, suffering a breakdown as her identity became blurred with her artificial role. I'm sorry that she had that problem. I suspect it's indirect testimony to the fact that we cannot be our best unless we live life as ourselves. I found an unexpected benefit of the book was to see how a gay woman sees men so the perspective is a two-way street for many. I suspect that many people would gain even more from this book is they went out and experienced some of these activities for themselves to have another point of perspective. Impressive and thought-provoking!
1 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
An interesting perspective on the boys' club.,
This review is from: Self Made Man (Hardcover)
This book gives the female reader a new perspective on just what men are like when with other men, in social settings, on their own, in the church, and in the workplace. It also places you on the other end of the dating game. It's enlightening to be able to have a glimpse into men and their world.I give it only three stars however, because the author paints a picture of men being just as tormented as women by our society, which I do not feel is a fair statement. Men face a lot of rigid boundaries in our society, but they are far less so than the ones women face. That aside, the physical challenges women face easily outweigh men's. Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta) Amazon.com:
4.0 out of 5 stars (142 customer reviews) 118 of 123 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
An Eye-Opener in Every Way....,
By frfubar8 "joe reader" - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Self Made Man (Hardcover)
I was lured by the title/cover photo....I was hooked by the synopsis and thought this would make a diverting read. I knew I would laugh at Ms. Vincent's exploits and adventures, what I was completely unprepared for was the sense of sadness that overcame me as I finished 'Self-Made Man'.In her guise as "Ned", the author explores such bastions of manhood as strip-clubs, the world of dating women, a monastery and a men's support group. Her experiences are intriguing as well as entertaining and will make most people think about how men and women are perceived by each other. I think this book should be required reading for any woman who is currently married, engaged to or in a relationship with a man. It made me seriously examine my attitudes towards men and my perceptions of their behavior. It underscores so sublimely the need for men and women to HONESTLY communicate with each other...on ALL levels. The most telling point for me was when the author was at the men's support group retreat, when the members drew their heros & some drew Atlas holding up the world. Read this book with an open mind, whether you are male or female and you will see there is more to it than just a cool stunt just for its own sake. I hope people will pick it up and give it a chance. 151 of 162 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Thoughtful and thought-provoking analysis of gender & gender differences,
By Carol S. - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Self Made Man (Hardcover)
Norah Vincent is a respected journalist who went "under cover" by dressing as a man for an extended period of time. She interacted with men and women in various contexts: joining a bowling league, working a high-pressure sales job, even spending weeks at a monastery. She writes candidly about her experiences in "Self-Made Man." The book is funny in many places, unexpectedly poignant in others, as Vincent discovers some unsettling truths about what it's like to be a guy in today's world. The book is particularly refreshing in that it is not a guy-bashing book: one of Vincent's conclusions is that it is difficult to be a man and she writes about the different expectations and cultural conventions that affect the way men act and interact. Vincent is also frank about the effect her deception had on her: she is troubled by her deception and writes in the last chapter about her own emotional breakdown after she leaves her alter ego "Ned" behind.A thoughtful, honest, fascinating book that will make you laugh and make you think. Brava, Ms. Vincent! 89 of 95 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Well written, insightful, quirky and VERY entertaining,
By J. Wilcox - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: Self Made Man (Hardcover)
I gained more insight into male behavior from Ms. Vincent's viewpoint than I have as 46 years of living as one myself. I'm extremely glad she didn't do a superficial travel log through the world of men, or a "why men suck" type of expose.The only thing that I didn't like about the book is that it left me wanting more information on some of the friends she met as Ned. Her writing made me as fond of her cohorts as she seemed to become herself. Highly recommended reading that folks will clearly be talking about more and more. |
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