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Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out Kindle Edition

3.9 out of 5 stars 164 customer reviews

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Length: 336 pages Word Wise: Enabled

Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

The well-known "life strategist" and TV personality Dr. Phil begins this upbeat self-help book by recalling one of the most unpleasant phone calls he ever had to make. In 1989, ten years into a flourishing career, McGraw called his father to say that, despite the outward trappings of success, he was miserable. His new plan was to move away and start a new career and a new life. According to McGraw, many people are currently in a similar situation-trapped in unsatisfying lives or jobs that they loathe. Too many people, says McGraw, are "so busy being busy, that they have let the colors fade from their lives." They're worried about superficial matters rather than what's important: "I'll bet 90-plus percent of them spent months, or even years, planning their wedding and almost no time planning their marriage!" To change their lives, McGraw's readers must first complete two questionnaires he designed to assess their "authentic self" and their "congruency" (how someone's current life compares with a vision of an ideal life). With the scores from these tests, readers can then embark upon a specific plan for changing their lives-and for determining which external and internal forces they will, or won't, allow to control their futures. Readers familiar with McGraw's aggressive TV personality may be surprised by this book's thoughtful and serious tone. McGraw's notion of making change is not a simple one-it requires readers to examine every aspect of their daily lives-and it's likely that some readers may not be able to make all the changes he advocates. But his book offers a thorough, realistic resource for those who are committed to turning their lives around to get what they really want and need.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

Dr Phil McGraw, known as 'Dr Tell-It-Like-It-Is' on Oprah Winfrey's Change Your Life show discusses self-esteem with a whole new positive approach, proposing a plan to become your best self rather than using low self esteem as a crutch. It is time to say goodbye to the nagging fears that keep so many of us from fulfilling our potential and see how endless our possibilities are.

Product Details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 2105 KB
  • Print Length: 336 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 074322423X
  • Publisher: Free Press (Nov. 14 2001)
  • Sold by: Simon & Schuster Canada, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B000FC0U08
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars 164 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #106,305 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
I'm one of the few who has not seen Dr. Phil on TV except for brief bits and I have not read his other books. I bought this book because of its title, good reviews, and because I was undergoing severe problems with relatives that forced me to do research. Buying Self Matters was the BEST DECISION on a self-help book that I EVER made.
Dr. Phil's main point is simple: a person may be unhappy and tormented by internal pain but we create our lives "from the inside out." We have one shot on this earth and face a simple choice: are we going to live our lives as we would truly like to live them or are we going spend our time here being defined, "typecast," hammered down, discouraged, de-energized -basically, CONTROLLED -- by outside forces(relatives, friends, expectations and past events)? Do you live according to what he calls the "authentic self" or do you live a life and identity others have given you, much like a casting director fills a part? And how to do you find out what you REALLY want and who you REALLY are (not how friends and relatives typecast you)?

Here are several big reasons why you MUST buy Self Matters:
1. DR. PHIL WALKS THE WALK: He changed his life. Originally he'd start each day unexcited, not proud of who he was since "everything I was doing was chosen to please other people by meeting their expectations while totally ignoring my own...I knew I wasn't living the life I was meant to live." He realized he had "betrayed who I was and instead accepted a fictional substitute that was defined from the outside in. I betrayed myself, and mine was a life and an experience that was a fraud and a fiction."
2.
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Format: Paperback
Dr.McGraw's work covers the dynamics of personal planning and
knowing oneself. He explains why it is crucial to identify life's goals and the pursuit of them.
His chapter on the authentic self explains the importance
of understanding motivations and reactions to external
events-including the perceived expectations of others.
He quotes Emerson:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
This statement attests to the importance of knowing the inner
self and having the all-important internal dialogue frequently.
A chapter on "defining moments" forces us to examine the bottom
line effects of these events on our own concept of "the self".
A part of the book reviews alternatives in terms of choices
presented, choices made, alternatives given up, the concept
of self before and after making the choice, the long term
residual effect of the choice, the distortion of the choice
(if any) on your self image and your reaction to the critical
choice.
The book forces us to take an internal inventory
of many critical factors including appearance, work,
outlook, competence, skills, abilities and worth. The five-step
action plan provides a superstructure so that we can assess our abilities, evaluate
learning history/experience, examine external factors,
internal dialogue and the resolution of the authentic self.
Finally, the author deals with putting a plan of action to work
and dealing with routine problem areas/challenges in executing
the plan. Too often, we tend to
avoid taking decisive action because of "analysis paralysis".
i.e.
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By A Customer on Jan. 19 2003
Format: Hardcover
Dr.Phil is a funny, insightful guy. And his basic theories about achieving a satisfying life are seeminly sound. He has some truly useful guidance to offer. Unfortunately, Self Matters suffers from the same malady that afflicts so many self-help books: it takes forever to get to the point!
The problems these books all face is the same. The concepts they set out to explain aren't really all that difficult to grasp.
An explanation and perhaps a short example would be more then enough for most readers. Unfortunately this wouldn't make for a very seductive, impressive looking tomb or justify a hefty cover price. The authors therefore (most likely at the behest of their publishers) pad their subjects with redundant examples and obvious commentary. Most frustrating is their tendency to repeatedly tell the reader what he or she is GOING to learn at some later point in the book!
Rather than go on and on about what one is going to teach, why not just teach it?
While McGraw doesn't induge these tactics nearly as much as, say, the Mother of all Self-Help Padders, Tony Robbins, he still does it much too often. I was really up to read this book, but because of its repetitive, round-about manner I gave up three of four chapters into it. A slim volumn that gets to the point would be MUCH more effective.
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By Robert Morris HALL OF FAMETOP 10 REVIEWER on Dec 7 2002
Format: Hardcover
Whatever the given human experience may be, I am convinced that what we invest in it will determine the nature and extent of the value we derive from it. That's certainly true of our relationships with others and especially true of the relationship we have with ourselves. Phillip McGraw is only the most recent of countless media celebrities such as Bishop Fulton Sheen, Esther Lederer ("Ann Landers"), Pauline Van Buren ("Abigail Van Buren"), Joyce Brothers, Ruth Westheimer, and Laura Schlessinger. My hunch (only a hunch) is that their staunchest admirers are those who have made the greatest effort to apply in their own lives what these popular psychologists have advocated. Second hunch (only a hunch): Many of those most critical of them are (at worst) envious of their fame whereas others are concerned that complicated problems will be trivialized by what they view as simplistic solutions.
McGraw may be the most controversial of them all because he seems to be (intentionally) the most confrontational of them all. This is the latest of several books he has written. In it, he insists that self-esteem really matters and explains why. That got me to thinking again about The Golden Rule. More specifically, about all of the recent inhumanities (other than acts of terrorism) which the media have publicized so extensively. It seems logical to me to assume that if people are consumed by self-loathing, they will be following The Golden Rule when they "do unto others" as they would have others "do unto them." Is not most dysfunctional behavior directly or indirectly related to self-esteem problems? Of course self matters! It matters a great deal. In many situations, it could quite literally determine matters of life or death.
In this volume, McGraw answers two questions of special importance to me.
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